|
|
|
|
oldsalt
Dec 9, 2004, 9:35 PM
Post #1 of 25
(3019 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Jan 19, 2004
Posts: 919
|
I posted this in response to a superlative story by dingus about two climbers facing death together (http://www.rockclimbing.com/...01&highlight=#951201), but I would like to know about other, actual, climbing partnerships.
In reply to: The topic of climbing partners could be worth an entire book. My first partner swapped leads with me when I sent my first routes. He gave me the second pitch of all three routes that day, so that I could lead to the anchor bolts and belay him from the highest points. I also climb with a guy from my office who I got started recently. I guided his first outdoor climb when my partner was laid up for awhile. We all climb together in the gym, along with another regular gym rat. Now the four of us are trying to arrange a trip during the holidays. Maybe we will end up as two sets of partners. The point is that typical relationship dances seem to be going on despite the fact that we are all totally straight arrow. I haven't seen anything about how to maintain a successful climbing partnership when other parties become involved. There must be parallels between emotional couple relationships and climbing partnerships. Both types are life and death and involve great trust.
How is your climbing partnership history?
|
|
|
|
|
climbhigh23
Dec 9, 2004, 10:04 PM
Post #2 of 25
(3019 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Aug 29, 2002
Posts: 299
|
my climbing partnership history is great. i wouldn't trade a single day out with any of my "regular" climbing partners (past or present) for anything (except maybe more days out together).
i started climbing with two of my best friends in college. we all learned together, bought the gear together, and all got progressively better together. there was healthy competition between us, which drove us all to become better -and safer- climbers, and also better friends (we'd often compete to see who could build the "best" anchors, give the best belay - not just who climbed the best). after college, one of them moved off to new jersey, and one of them moved off to colorado. we are all still great friends, but obviously we climb together much less now.
now there is a new group (commonly refered to as "ohio" at rc.com gatherings). i am probably directly responsible for one of them starting to climb (bought an extra harness and dragged his ass out to try it), and once again everything was great. the one i probably started climbing moved off to vegas earlier this year (jdcdank1 - who now climbs weekly in red rock canyon, prick), but elwood86 and spider_woman remain.
my list of past/present "regular" climbing partners is fairly short, and all of the partners either were, or are now, some of my best friends (or more, in the case of spider_woman). :)
|
|
|
|
|
chrisparedes
Dec 9, 2004, 10:17 PM
Post #3 of 25
(3019 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Aug 4, 2004
Posts: 211
|
I started climbing this summer with my best buds from school, and we all progressed at about the same rate, all have bought gear, and there is a fun and healthy competition between us all when we climb, and especially when we boulder. Even though we are all at diferent colleges right now, we still make an effort to get hom and climb at our local crag and plan climbing trips.
|
|
|
|
|
chronicle
Dec 9, 2004, 10:28 PM
Post #4 of 25
(3019 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Sep 26, 2003
Posts: 664
|
I've struggled with partners for a long time. Only recently did I find someone that is willing to climb, trustworthy when belaying, as interested in climbing as I am.
My first climbing partner wound up not interested in putting the time/effort into climbing. I wound up partnerless for a long time, and concentrated on bouldering since I could go solo. He has since turned a 10 time gym pass into a 3 year membership (he still has 3 visits left).
My fiance became my climbing partner and was really psyched about climbing. We would meet at the gym 2-3 times/week, and top-rope on the weekends. Until a few weeks ago, everytime I went bouldering she would go with me. I convinced her to go trad climbing with me, a few weeks ago. She got completely sketched out by the height, and is now dealing with a fear of heights like I've never seen before (5 feet or more and she gets scared).
My latest partner, whom I met on RC.com, is great. We've only made it out a handful of times due to schedule conflicts. Hopefully we will continue to climb together for a long time.
|
|
|
|
|
kimmyt
Dec 9, 2004, 10:37 PM
Post #5 of 25
(3019 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Sep 10, 2003
Posts: 4546
|
My climbing partner life parallels my IRL relationships, in that I have nothing but a long string of successive one-night stands. Once in a while I meet people who I climb with more often for a longer period of time, but something (whether it be distance, or busy schedules) prevents us from being anything other than once-in-a-while partners.
|
|
|
|
|
coldclimb
Dec 9, 2004, 10:53 PM
Post #6 of 25
(3019 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Jan 14, 2002
Posts: 6909
|
I have seriously climbed with anybody and everybody who would take me to the crag, and so far I haven't found a single person that I wouldn't climb with again, given the chance. :) I have nobody that is a regular all-the-time partner, because nobody I know has the same totally free (read: bored often, but able to climb at the drop of a hat) lifestyle that I have, but I have a lot of really good friendships formed solely from climbing trips.
|
|
|
|
|
asandh
Dec 9, 2004, 10:56 PM
Post #7 of 25
(3019 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Nov 13, 2002
Posts: 788
|
:D
|
|
|
|
|
eyecannon
Dec 9, 2004, 11:18 PM
Post #8 of 25
(3019 views)
Shortcut
Registered: May 4, 2004
Posts: 517
|
In reply to: I have seriously climbed with anybody and everybody who would take me to the crag, and so far I haven't found a single person that I wouldn't climb with again, given the chance. :) I have nobody that is a regular all-the-time partner, because nobody I know has the same totally free (read: bored often, but able to climb at the drop of a hat) lifestyle that I have, but I have a lot of really good friendships formed solely from climbing trips.
This sounds like my experience, everyone I've climbed with has been great, you just have to ask them before hand what they know so you don't get into trouble :)
|
|
|
|
|
jamaica
Dec 9, 2004, 11:30 PM
Post #9 of 25
(3019 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Jul 22, 2004
Posts: 188
|
I've also climbed with many people, but my regular climbing partner is a great friend of mine and we've been good friends for years and we also started together. It's kinda wierd because a lot of times we know what each other is thinking, but it's great because we both know each others strenghs and weaknesses and try to improve each other.
Jamaica 8^)
|
|
|
|
|
charley
Dec 9, 2004, 11:38 PM
Post #10 of 25
(3019 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Apr 13, 2002
Posts: 6627
|
In reply to: My climbing partner life parallels my IRL relationships, in that I have nothing but a long string of successive one-night stands. Once in a while I meet people who I climb with more often for a longer period of time, but something (whether it be distance, or busy schedules) prevents us from being anything other than once-in-a-while partners.
First time I've ever been called a one night stand, baybee.
I started to climb with a club/group 10 or so years ago. I climb regularly with these ppl and trust all the regulars. I have also made alot of friends on this site and climb with many of them, including OHIO. I trust them on lead and on belay, trad, sport, whatever.
|
|
|
|
|
mtman
Dec 9, 2004, 11:54 PM
Post #11 of 25
(3019 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Apr 15, 2003
Posts: 229
|
when i firs t started to climb i really did not have any one that would go climbing with so it was a slow start but when i started to go out with my ex-gf, who was a climber, she became my climbing partner and that was fun and it worked pretty well except that she was not as eager to go out an climb, which bugged me a bit so i ended up climbing with people i had met at school (UW), but my brother was getting in to climbing last year, he was still in HS so we only able to climb together on occasion, but now that he is also at the UW we always climb together. we are both eager to climb and keep pushing each other.
there is something about climbing with my brother that i have trusted for many years, we also think very alike and know each others limits, so we make a good team.
i am curious how many of you climb with a sibling?
|
|
|
|
|
dingus
Dec 10, 2004, 12:01 AM
Post #12 of 25
(3019 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Dec 16, 2002
Posts: 17398
|
This kind of relationship?
Darrell and I grew up together; just a couple of kids living
in the country. We were best friends at the age of ten. Our parents
made great sacrifice to live where they did. They did without for
a better way of life. Darrell and I just enjoyed it. We even
learned to climb together. Eventually I moved away, first to the
Navy, then to California. We've stayed in touch, but years have
passed. Darrell has been promising, idly I thought, that he was
going to drop everything and come visit. In a state of drunken
sentimentality, I foolishly offered him a place to stay. Now he's
coming for real. Oh shit!
Darrell still lives in our home town. He can only be described
as a one-of-a-kind. He's loud, obnoxious and he loves to give
people shit. In fact, we called him Dr. Shit for years, though no
one's really sure where the handle came from. He's the kind that
would cuss at his Granny's breakfast table, bite his dog on the
nose and laugh when someone did a grounder from 30 feet up! He
drives a 1973 Plymouth Duster complete with loud mufflers, raised
suspension and racing tires. His hair and his pants have the same
problem: they're too short. The term red-neck doesn't do Darrell
justice. Would be like calling a hurricane `some wind.' Darrell's
a Cracker and he knows it!
Yet Darrell is a good guy. If he likes you, he loves you.
Doesn't matter if your black or white; a man or a woman. He'll do
anything for you. Your enemies are his enemies. If he takes a
dislike to you, well, you'd better watch out. He's a big, physical
guy and he' not afraid to express himself with his fists. He's
quite immune to higher authority. He's a law unto himself; a force
of nature. Stoned, he once backed into a parked patrol car down in
New Orleans. Before it was done, the Police Commissioner himself
was apologizing!
Darrell's a good climber too. He's to climbing what Hulk Hogan
is to pro-wrestling. His style's very aggressive and remarkably
deceptive. He can make brain surgery look as easy as an accident.
He can also laugh right in the face of the Grim Reaper. He's a
notorious route thief feared throughout a seven state area. Yet
there is a certain amount of fraud involved in everything he does.
It's as if he's cheating on gravity or something, all the while
laughing at us mere mortals for not seeing the obvious! He's one of
those ancient Greek heros. He's capable of absolute greatness and
utter depravity all at the same time. Vanity and pettiness are
balanced with equal measures of humor and courage. Darrell presents
a problem for me. It's just that this city is wrapped too tight for
Darrell. He might break it!
He shows up around noon and my fears evaporate. Darrell hasn't
changed much. He's six foot whatever and a rock solid 200 pounds.
I don't believe he's put on an extra pound since he got out of high
school. He's got one of those block heads, like Fred Flintstone or
Charlie Brown. There's that mop of uncombed blonde hair and intense
green eyes. Goat eyes, I always called them.
Darrell's Grandfather once had an insane goat that ruled the
barnyard. For years it imposed a reign of terror on it's tiny
kingdom and all it's subjects. Now that goat was capable of murder
and I grew up terrified yet fascinated by it's psychotic behavior.
Darrell and the goat shared the same look in their eyes; a look
that went from dull boredom to criminal insanity and back to
boredom, almost constantly. The moods of both creatures shifted
more than the mud flats on the banks of the Tennessee River. The
goat's undisputed rule was terminated with extreme prejudice the
day it bit Granny on the ass! Darrell killed it with his
Grandfather's shotgun within minutes. I think it ended up in the
barbecue pit.
Darrell has the eyes of a prophet; the eyes of a zealot; the
eyes of a terrorist. His arms are so big he has trouble finding
shirts. His thighs and chest are of Herculean proportion. Hara, the
Japanese call it; he's got big hara. His personality seems to
project from the confines of his body much like radiation leaks
from a Chernobyl nuclear reactor. There are no safe containers for
stuff that potent.
Damn it's good to see an old friend! We know each other better
than most brothers. The many years and the million miles that have
separated us are swept away in a brief moment. We hug and laugh and
slap each other on the back. We automatically resume conversations
begun in our youth. We spend the afternoon talking shop; family,
old girl friends, old times. Our conversation eventually winds
itself back to climbing, as it always does.
"So Dingus. You climbed any of them big walls you keep telling
me about? You actually doing any climbing out here?" Darrell eyes
me as if expecting a line of bullshit, so I give it to him, both
barrels.
"Big walls?! Fuck yeah I been climbin' big walls! Climb `em
every weekend. Gettin' so I'm mostly bored with `em these days
though. They're too easy. So I decided to put on twenty pounds just
to make it fair. Sportin' move, don't ya think?" Darrell laughs
long and loud. You can't bullshit a bullshitter! Besides, he's
knows what I've climbed. I send him pictures all the time.
"So what are we gonna climb first?! Let's do the Nose
tomorrow. Then I'd like to do Half Dome, the DNB, Astroman and
maybe the Rostrum. Hell, I've got two weeks! We can climb every
fucking thing in the Valley." The look of anticipation forming on
the very fabric of his face is almost comical. I hate to bring him
back to reality, but there's little choice.
"Darrell! Hey buddy, I have to work. I just got back from a
four day road trip. I called in sick so I could do a route up in
the Palisades. There's no way I can get the time off now. You
shoulda given me more of a warnin'. Hell, I should be at work right
now! I've got to go."
"Whoa Trigger! What the fuck you mean, work? You're old buddy
didn't come 2000 miles just to sit on his ass your apartment. No
offense, but it smells like shit in here! You just gotta git on
that phone and tell your boss the score. He'll understand."
"Understand hell! The only thing he'll understand is that it's
June and I've already used up all my vacation and sick leave for
the year. He'll understand the stupid mistake he made by hiring a
climber. There is absolutely NO WAY he's gonna let me have the next
two weeks off. NO FUCKING WAY!" Darrell being Darrell, he refuses
to listen. I might as well be talking to the wall. He reels
alternate climbing plans like Bill Clinton spouting campaign
promises. There's more of `em than he can possibly keep track of
and even he's not sure which ones he's serious about. But I can't
shake him! Finally, in desperation, I just walk out the front door,
hoping he'll go away. He follows me to the car, gets in, throws his
arm over the back of the seat and settles in for the ride.
You mean THAT kind of relationship?
DMT
|
|
|
|
|
outdoorsie
Dec 10, 2004, 12:43 AM
Post #13 of 25
(3019 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Jan 15, 2003
Posts: 302
|
Oh, dignus, I loved that story, and I loved reading your last post! You are an excelent writer, and really bring out the emotions you feel for each other.
I actually started climbing with two guys and a couple of girls after a horrible break up of a 4 year relationship. Nothing better to foster obsession than complete lack of anything else to do. I climbed *a lot*. The strange thing was, as we tended to climb in a group, people would come and go, some people showed up once a week, some people showed up once every other week, but Mark and I, we were there every time. We climbed 2, sometimes 3 days a week with anybody else who would come with us. Mark had a girlfriend who he brought climbing, but they ended up breaking up.
And eventually, it was just Mark and I. We climbed well together. We worked well together. We got along great. When I was with him, I was not afraid of anything (ok, I was terrified of leading, but other than that... :-) He would lead the routes, and I would clean the anchors. He described it as "I'll cook, you clean" everytime we went climbing. Eventually, I took a chance and said "You know, we should do something, sometime, like, as a date, or something..." Yeah, those are immortal words.
We fell in love, we had a ball. In the year we dated before getting engaged, we had issues, we got in fights. The crazy thing was, no matter how frustrated or upset I got, we could go climbing the next day and it would be like starting over from the begining. Going back to basics. Remembering how to communicate with each other, and how to depend on each other, and that you can't be completely indepdant, you really need each other.
Mark proposed on top of a sandstone formation in Sedona. We honeymooned in the Blue Ridge Mountains (yey Linville Gorge!). And then, less than a year later, we sold everything we owned quit our jobs and moved to Colorado so I could go to grad school. Mark is an incredible guy, I love him dearly, and I could not imagine climbing regularly with anybody else. After reading the problems people have had with partners, I'm so thankful that I found him and that everything has worked out ok.
On the down side, though, I can't seem to post to this website in the first person. All of my posts are "my husband and I..." But really, that's not a bad thing, is it? :-)
http://www.pbase.com/.../29152335/medium.jpg
|
|
|
|
|
cragclimber_99
Dec 10, 2004, 1:18 AM
Post #14 of 25
(3019 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Mar 30, 2004
Posts: 42
|
in terms of relationship; we sleep in the same tent on our trips. I cant think of a closer relationship ive ever had with another man.....errr or want to have!
|
|
|
|
|
coreydacat
Dec 10, 2004, 1:30 AM
Post #15 of 25
(3019 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Jun 3, 2004
Posts: 79
|
damn that last story is awesome... while my experience with climbing partners isn't quite so fairytale, i'm still climbing, which is what is important. i was first introduced to it by a bf at the time who is an avid tradhead, and after following him around i fell in love with the sport. however, i made the crucial mistake of having him be my only climbing partner -- so he was my mentor, my climbing partner, and my bf... unfortunately, it didn't work for us, and i lost all three. somehow, i was lucky enough to come across somebody who wanted to climb almost as much as i did, and our dynamics are very different, but they work quite well -- we take turns encouraging eachother while trying to improve ourselves. he is willing to drive out midweek at the drop of a hat to check out crags, loves climbing about as much as i do, and is my gym and outdoors climbing partner... doesn't mean i'm not up for meeting and climbing with other people -- i'm always up to climb with others, but luckily enough i have someone like my regular partner who is amenable to my ridiculous schedule...
|
|
|
|
|
chanceboarder
Dec 10, 2004, 2:02 AM
Post #16 of 25
(3019 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Oct 6, 2003
Posts: 1348
|
well when i first started climbing like 7 years ago i didn't really have a partner. i was part of like a small group of about 4 guys who had all been climbing for like 10 years. they would take me out a few times a year and let me follow them around on whatever i could struggle my way up. they were nice enough to teach me to clean and place gear and to teach me to follow a little bit of aid. it was pretty hard to climb with guys who could lead .12's comfortably on gear when you're so new. but they showed me how to climb safely and not kill myself while having a good time.
i stopped climbing for a while and picked it up again seriously this time about a year and a half ago. my best friend at the time was also getting into climbing and we learned together and spent many days in the gym and outside improving our technique and getting better at sport climbing. she really pushed me to climb better and to really have fun with it. climbing with someone on my own level was really great and we had a stronger friendship cuz of it. life eventually caught up to her and she moved on to other stuff. so i found myself looking for a new partner again.
i was very fortunate to find my current climbing partner throu rc.com who i climb with several times a week. she comes from mostly a trad background while i come from a sport background and i think it has allowed both of us to expand our climbing ability. what can i say about her other then she has become one of my best friends. so we're not only climbing partners but 2 people who have become very close friends because of climbing. while i'll climb with other partners she’s the one i have the most fun with and trust the most with my life.
i'm very grateful for all my climbing partners and every who i have ever climbed with. i've learned a lot from all of them and made some great friends in the process. i would say my partnership history is great!
|
|
|
|
|
timd
Dec 11, 2004, 5:25 AM
Post #17 of 25
(3019 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Dec 21, 2003
Posts: 862
|
I must simply say: One you trust with your life!
|
|
|
|
|
euleto
Dec 11, 2004, 5:32 AM
Post #18 of 25
(3019 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Jun 20, 2004
Posts: 85
|
I've known my climbing partner for 17 years. Good guy, 2 years older than me. Strong climber.
We've lived in the same house for 17 years, shared the same hobbies, have never really ever fought, go to the same college (U Dayton) and climb very similarly. He just also happens to be my older brother.
This is IMHO one of the best situations to be in with a partner, as far as knowledge and trust goes. Only hard part is convincing mom and dad to let us start learning about multi-pitch ("I don't want you tied together! Can't lose both at once!")
|
|
|
|
|
cliffmonkey2003
Dec 11, 2004, 5:57 AM
Post #19 of 25
(3019 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Jan 29, 2003
Posts: 191
|
I met my first partner one summer when we both worked at the same camp. We talked one night and had both mentioned an interest in climbing. By this time I had done some climbing in the Boy Scouts, but that was about it and he had not done much more. We both decided to make a partnership out of it, because it turned out that we were both attending the same high school that fall and he had just moved there and needed something to do. We started going to the gym, then eventually we graduated to top-roping at the ledges. I had many fine climbing days with Kansas (my first partner, we had the same first name, so his state of origin replaced his first name).
The next summer I worked as the climbing instructor at that summer camp and became friends with my director who was from Oklahoma. Kansas and I decided the following spring break to head down to the Wichitas and climb with my director and a couple other friends from OK. That turned out to be a great week of climbing, though I think it partially turned Kansas off of climbing. He fell on his first lead attempt and bruised his ankle. We both started leading sport routes on that trip and that was pretty much when Drew (my director) and I became solid partners.
The next school year I moved to Oklahoma to attend OSU, Drew became my regular climbing partner and remains so to this day. I couldn't ask for a better partner than Drew, he's real smart about all of the climbing that we do and he's not afraid to critique my anchors or some move that I've done. Unfortunately I'll have to find a new regular partner when I move to CO next summer, but I'm sure that Drew and Kansas will be more than willing to visit me in the heart of the rockies for some climbing.
|
|
|
|
|
vegastradguy
Dec 11, 2004, 6:33 AM
Post #20 of 25
(3019 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Aug 28, 2002
Posts: 5919
|
my first set of partners were a group of folks i met in the gym. we all had a great time for the first year or so i was climbing. then one sort of got busy and stopped climbing so much. the other had moved back to germany, and another had sort of found a different side of the sport. this left me with a sole partner whom i continued to climb with regularly until about 6 months back, when he too got a little busy.
thankfully, i've found three new great partners, these being even better than the last bunch. they challenge me more, respect me more, and we generally have a whole lot more fun and climb a lot more! so, i'll just take this little space on the web to thank Kate, Larry, and Bill- thanks guys for being the best climbing partners a guy could ask for!
|
|
|
|
|
khenderson
Dec 11, 2004, 6:42 AM
Post #21 of 25
(3019 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Nov 10, 2004
Posts: 18
|
of the two partners i've had for climbing, my current partner will probly be there for a while. he's been a good friend for a few years, and he kinda got me into climbing, and i kinda got him back into the sport again. i'll be moving to nashville soon, and he'll be my roommate and then it's climb whenever we can!!! but i undoubtedly trust him when i'm climbing, and i think that's what you need for a partner.
|
|
|
|
|
cgailey
Dec 11, 2004, 9:57 AM
Post #22 of 25
(3019 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Apr 6, 2004
Posts: 585
|
I've climbed with a lot of people and I have to say that I'd climb with most of them again. I've had my share of differences of opinion with many, learned a lot, and taught a lot, but overall, I've had very good experiences (just need to get coldclimb a new pack ;))
|
|
|
|
|
johnr9q
Dec 12, 2004, 4:45 PM
Post #24 of 25
(3019 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Oct 5, 2001
Posts: 120
|
I read most of this thread totally understand the benefit of having a good climbing partner. That is why I have been trying for some time (even donated money to rc.com) to get a partner search list going on rc.com. Something like people search for a date on the web. You would put in where you live, your ability, m/f, type of climbing, etc and others could search specifying the criteria they were looking for. Maybe if others would request rc.com to initiate this it would help. Contact the following user names in rockclimbing.com: tim, trevor, mreardon
|
|
|
|
|
ikefromla
Dec 12, 2004, 5:58 PM
Post #25 of 25
(3019 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Oct 23, 2002
Posts: 1216
|
i do not have one regular partner. rather, i have a bunch of people that i climb with. Reardon and i were climbin together pretty regularly there for a while, but he needed to pursue his own goals, solo. one of the things i love about climbing is constantly meeting new and interesting people to climb with. a different dynamic is developed between you and every person you climb with... i like that.
|
|
|
|
|
|
