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Re: [happiegrrrl] Climbing and being a mom:
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qtm
Feb 4, 2009, 7:51 PM
Views: 5073
Registered: Apr 8, 2004
Posts: 548
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happiegrrrl wrote: I dunno... Of all the women I have climbed with: - one had a grown step-daughter - one climbed until she got pregnant. At 45, she stopped climbing immediately because she wouldn't take the risk of losing the baby. She's climbed a few times since baby was born, but finds it really tough to coordinate child care, make time for herself, get partners and all that. The issue of having lost her climbing head is up there too, in making it tough to get out. - The featured mom, Jannette, is the 3rd mom climber I know. She's currently not happy because that job that made it all possible, which she talked about in the article, has unexpectedly ended. She's pretty freaked out about that. Every single other woman I have ever climbed with has never had kids, and I have climbed with a lot of women. Susan is not the type as you have painted(life's purpose as a mother/martyr). But I know, when one hasn't met a person in reality it can be easy to ascribe traits to them which may not be accurate. Happens all the time. About the fathers - Well...the story is about mothers and climbing. But a Dad climber article would be a good one! I like reading Todd's stuff over at Supertopo. In just about every post he says "I'm toast" with regards to climbing. But he's still out there at least once a week putting up new routes! He'd be a great follow up dad climber for someone to write an article an. And - never having had children, I obviously can't speak from experience. But from the moms I do know(climber or not) it is pretty much the usual thing that, when they have a child or children, those kids just DO come first. And it isn't about martyring themselves. It's more about unconditional love. True, too - I have known a lot of dads(climbers and not) who love their kids just as unconditionally, but.....they do tend to keep their hobbies up, even if at a different level. Maybe some of the fathers on rc.com, and those who are married to women who also climb(or did climb) have some input.
I'm a single Dad. I know Susan through our family climbing group, and climb regularly with Jannette and her kids. I'm pretty sure I was belaying Ariel on the Spring, and I'm behind Jannette taking pictures of Jazz climbing Fat Man from another angle.
When Susan asked for submissions, I wrote something up, but then decided not to send it. I don't know why, maybe I thought that my PoV wasn't much different from anyone else. Or maybe that my PoV was way out in left field and would just skew the results. I didn't send them, and so my son doesn't get his picture in the article...
As a single dad, dadhood did cut severely into my life as the primary caregiver. I barely got out of the house when my son was 3 to 5. However, it might not have been necessary, it might all have been self-imposed. Maybe I felt I *had* to be at home, that I wasn't being a good dad if I hired a babysitter and took a night off. Guess that's my own fault. Back then, I might have said climbing and parenthood were incompatible.
When I first started bringing my son to the cliffs, it was always *his* day. Not too hot, not too cold, not too early, not too late. Find an easy route with close holds that I can setup a toprope anchor. One that doesn't already have a TR, that isn't hogging a three-star route, that won't have parties above dropping rocks, that isn't an hour hike in. Climb for an hour or so, then off to get ice cream. I didn't have a regular partner back then so I didn't get too much climbing in myself.
Then I ran into Jannette and her kids, and that made a huge difference. With my GF, we had three adults and three kids (near the same ages) and so two adults could climb while the third belayed or simply kept an eye on the kids (who would climb a route or two then go looking for interesting rocks).
As the kids got older, climbing with them got a lot easier. They could organize and carry their own gear. They could hike much further, they could withstand colder and warmer days. They could follow harder routes so we didn't need to find climbs specifically suited for them. They could belay each other, needed much less supervision. Honestly, those climbing days were much more enjoyable and much less boring.
Still, we like to get "adult climbing days" in. Really, it's much easier to climb without kids.
I don't read the same thing into the article that everyone else seems to. But I guess since I'm not a "mom" my view on things may be a little different. Still, I wonder what Susan's views will be in six years, when her kids don't require the same constant attention, can belay each other, are a little more independent at the crag.
(This post was edited by qtm on Feb 4, 2009, 7:58 PM)
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Edit Log:
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Post edited by qtm
() on Feb 4, 2009, 7:56 PM
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Post edited by qtm
() on Feb 4, 2009, 7:58 PM
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