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Re: [Sebs] Climbing and being a mom:
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xgretax
Feb 9, 2009, 7:40 PM
Views: 4606
Registered: Jan 23, 2001
Posts: 248
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Thank your Sebs, for both writing the article and replying to the thread. I put the little one down for a nap and gave the article (and your responses) another go.
First off, I really appreciate the tips at the end of the article online. I have a hard time keeping it realistic. I didn't foresee two big things that occurred post-partum: 1) very little help from spouse; 2)thyroid/adrenal failure. I expected to be able to climb hard after the kid, since I was climbing hard while I was pregnant. Well, after almost two years later, I'm not even close to where I was both as a climber and a research ecologist/forester. It's been downright hard to be realistic. But Lynn Hill's perspective has really helped (Despite the inherent risks of climbing, I still love to climb and I never plan to give it up just because I’m a mother. However, I am much more selective about the risks I take. …One of the biggest challenges of motherhood has to do with juggling my time between work, climbing, and the daily responsibilities of raising a child. But whatever climbs and travels I might have missed during the formative years of my son's life are small sacrifices compared to the love and richness Owen brings, and hopefully will contribute to others as part of the future generation.") I'm doing my best to hold a optimistic perspective on things.
You said:
4. Also, until you're a parent, you have absolutely no idea what it's like.
5. Until you're a mom, you have absolutely no idea what it's like
ain't that the truth.
You also wrote:
6. Moms don't like to talk about the difficulty of integrating climbing with being a mom because it is so hard
you can replace "climbing" with a passion you had pre-child. it is difficult. things have changed both internally and externally and it is an extremely taxing transition to make. please see #4 and #5.
Next: 7. So I maintain my conclusion, which is unpalateable for most women:
I think I only disagree based on your choice of words. I wouldn't call it incompatible, just extremely difficult. In your article, you talked about having a system set up. It is so difficult, especially if you have a spouse that doesn't entirely understand your passion for "x." Whether it be climbing or something else. So you have to look outside of family, to your community for support. This is a rather unsettling process for somebody who is used to being self-sufficient. It can be done, with heaps of commitment and energy.
8. To the single woman who wrote that she expected after she got married that her husband would share equally in all the housework and childcare
I used to be one of those single women. What a slap in the face when that turned out to be entirely untrue. But that isn't the case for everybody; I know some of these lucky folks personally. Although I don't feel entirely supported in my individual passions, I have to acknowledge that Mike has been supportive of my parenting style. I had a water-birth at home, we're on track for at least two years of breast-feeding, and we both love the idea of waldkinder-style education...which brings us to...
9. About how raising children nowadays can't really be all that much more time consuming than when we were children
I chose a path. To have a child, to bring that child up a certain way. This path means that I'll have difficulty pursuing my own passions from time to time. But it isn't just me anymore, and I have to adjust...although it is fuckin hard.
Edited to say: Kid woke up. To finish: There's absolutely nothing more rewarding (for me) to watch Juniper explore and test her limits out of doors. I never knew how fulfilling it could be do introduce a world of possibilities to a little one. It totally makes sending your project look stupid (but, hey, i like stupid...and sending projs).
(This post was edited by xgretax on Feb 9, 2009, 10:56 PM)
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Post edited by xgretax
() on Feb 9, 2009, 10:56 PM
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