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The funniest Rock climbing article EVER
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ricks308


Apr 13, 2005, 3:55 PM
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I saved a ton of money buying a couple of thingies you use on a stopped up toilet instead of buying those official suction cups those climbing companies are selling. But are they just as safe? I don't know. I guess I'll just use them for boldering/hiking till I can find specs on them.


dingus


Apr 13, 2005, 3:56 PM
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It's a ridiculous mistake that would be cleared up by simply showing the article to a firefighter.

-Joe

You would think. But I assure you, they routinely blow it (they meaning reporters).

Consider, in community yesterday an op ed writer solicited topics to write about...

And next week she will have to write a different piece about a different subject. And the week after that. And the week after that. With deadlines and writer's block and all that shit, and still, the words gotta be cranked out.

I was happy to see he spelled rappel correctly, that is a major advance over say this technically accurate site!

Reporters almost always write about shit they essentially know nothing about. Obviously the better ones do more research and fact checking than the lazy ones, but in the end, unless they are climbers (or fire fighter, or cops, or lawyers, or plumbers, or auto mechanics) they always get some basics flat out wrong.

DMT


Partner nostalgia


Apr 13, 2005, 3:56 PM
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So on the one hand you give people credit for having the intelligence to recognize that to fight fires one needs to train to be a fire fighter, but in the same sentence assert that people will read this article and go -out-a-rock-climbing?
I think your statement is truer than you realize. I'd say the vast majority of people realize they can't be a firefighter or cop without training. They realize is a dangerous job and a skilled profession. OTOH, many people will consider rock climbing a sport - especially with misinformation flying aroun - not realizing how dangerous it is when taken lightly. They wouldn't consider needing training to go play a sport like baseball, so why would they need training to climb rocks? How hard could it be? I mean, it's climbing freakin' rocks, right?

-Joe


Partner taino


Apr 13, 2005, 3:58 PM
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Dingus, have you heard some of the nOObs, these days? It's scary, at my local crag.

T


Partner nostalgia


Apr 13, 2005, 4:00 PM
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In reply to:
I saved a ton of money buying a couple of thingies you use on a stopped up toilet instead of buying those official suction cups those climbing companies are selling. But are they just as safe? I don't know. I guess I'll just use them for boldering/hiking till I can find specs on them.

Awwwww the photo of the toprope anchor consisting of a plunger and some slings over a doorframe came down!! I'm bummed. That'd be the perfect pic for this thread :)

-JOe


islandclimber


Apr 13, 2005, 4:05 PM
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That was pretty funny, I think I'm gonna incorporate suction cups into my aid rack


dingus


Apr 13, 2005, 4:13 PM
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OTOH, many people will consider rock climbing a sport - especially with misinformation flying aroun - not realizing how dangerous it is when taken lightly.

WHO??? Who are these 'many people and why aren't they dying oin droves?

I would expect to see the 'idiot dies climbing with Mom's clothesline' articles daily or some shit.

But guess what? That ain't happening. See, us sitting here at our computers its real easy to forget there are fundamental fears involved in rock climbing. Soon as you get about 10 feet up or some some fairly predictable processes begin.

Yes, there are idiot noobs out there. If you think exercising one shiity article from the human database will make an iota of difference, you are mistaken.

I submit that the influence you people ascribe to this article is WAY OVER ESTIMATED.

Cheers
DMT


dingus


Apr 13, 2005, 4:16 PM
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Dingus, have you heard some of the nOObs, these days? It's scary, at my local crag.

T

Some of the noobs these days huh? LOL.

DMT


chronicle


Apr 13, 2005, 4:17 PM
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Edited because I type too slow, so my post was no longer relevant.


chanceboarder


Apr 13, 2005, 4:19 PM
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did anyone use his link for the rubber-soled climbing shoes under his equipment list?

you can pick your favorite climbing shoes from distributors like reebok, johnson and murphy, shoemall.com, and my favorite place payless shoe source. :roll:


grover


Apr 13, 2005, 4:43 PM
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Hahahaaha.

Well, I just e-mailed the guy who wrote the article.
Will post any replies.

Steve,
Great to see a how to: rock climbing article!!! Being a new climber your words have given me new hope to conquer mountains with my church-group. Concerning suction-cups; I was wondering if you could forward any info. on where to get these cups you mentioned. We (the church-group) have a small assortment of suction-cups but would like to purchase larger ones. A few of our new members are a bit large (250+ pounds) and they will need larger suction-cups for the type of climbing we like to do.
Again great article!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Your friend,
Mark Senyk.


snodgwil


Apr 13, 2005, 4:44 PM
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I can rap 5.8!


azrockclimber


Apr 13, 2005, 4:46 PM
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wow..that guy sure knows his stuff. That just makes me wonder how many articles I have read that are complete bullshit about a subject I know nothing about?
hmm... I wonder If I shouldn't be gargling with antifreeze???


mistertyler


Apr 13, 2005, 4:52 PM
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I don't see the article causing much harm; after all, you can go out and buy as much gear as you want, but you can't use it until you at least know how to put it all together -- even poorly -- to set up for a climb. And that's when any idiot who actually followed the advice in this article would realize that they needed more information. And if they don't, well......too bad for them.

Dingus: Small inaccuracies would be acceptable, but errors like the ones in this article are just inexcusable. You could throw out any random topic that I currently know nothing about, and I guarantee you that even I (a non-journalist) could write a more credible article on the subject given a few hours of Googling. This guy clearly plagiarized his information from the other article and should be embarrassed.


ncsuclimber


Apr 13, 2005, 4:53 PM
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I didn't think anything could be funnier than the ask the n00b thread, but this is at least a tie! :lol:


catyswmr


Apr 13, 2005, 4:57 PM
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It flat out frightens me that someone may actually look at this as sound advice.


wjca


Apr 13, 2005, 4:58 PM
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Just got a pair of the new Johnston and Murphy Rock Hogs last with. You know the ones with the built in rubber suction cups on the rubber soles. I rappeled some scary grade 6 stuff with them, then safety climbeb some plate glass like Spiderman.

The "Lifestyle Correspondent" Steve Richer has definately made a difference in my lifestyle.


dingus


Apr 13, 2005, 5:00 PM
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Dingus: Small inaccuracies would be acceptable, but errors like the ones in this article are just inexcusable.

Like what? The suction cups? This very site advertises some verlcro bullshit climbing system. George Willig or Spiderman Dan or some other fool used suction cups to climb some big ass building. A few hours of googling will turn up all sorts of nonense. How is a non climber to know, when even the climbing sites advertise the bullshit???

In reply to:
You could throw out any random topic that I currently know nothing about, and I guarantee you that even I (a non-journalist) could write a more credible article on the subject given a few hours of Googling.

I'm sure you could. That whole journalist thing is easy as pie anyway.

DMT


dingus


Apr 13, 2005, 5:02 PM
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It flat out frightens me that someone may actually look at this as sound advice.

You are easily frightened then.

DMT

BOO!

Ha ha!


iamthewallress


Apr 13, 2005, 5:02 PM
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This is my favorite:

In reply to:
Full-safety climbing: This is a lot like climbing a wall at the gym. You climb using existing grips while someone on the ground pulls on your rope to make it easier for you.

Climbing with a counterweight belay assist is now officially a 'style'!


tavs


Apr 13, 2005, 5:11 PM
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In reply to:
In reply to:
OTOH, many people will consider rock climbing a sport - especially with misinformation flying aroun - not realizing how dangerous it is when taken lightly.

WHO??? Who are these 'many people and why aren't they dying oin droves?

I would expect to see the 'idiot dies climbing with Mom's clothesline' articles daily or some s---.

But guess what? That ain't happening. See, us sitting here at our computers its real easy to forget there are fundamental fears involved in rock climbing. Soon as you get about 10 feet up or some some fairly predictable processes begin.

Yes, there are idiot noobs out there. If you think exercising one shiity article from the human database will make an iota of difference, you are mistaken.

I submit that the influence you people ascribe to this article is WAY OVER ESTIMATED.

Cheers
DMT

In general, I agree with you Dingus, we shouldn't attach too much importance to one article, demanding that it be removed lest it unleash a horde of misinformed, dangers-to-themselves-and-all-around at the crags. But such people are out there, and articles like this certainly don't help the situation. I think part of the reason they aren't dying in droves is because they frequently encounter more experienced folks who are willing to tell them they're screwing up. Like the guy and his girlfriend my friend saw at the NRG a few years back--starting to climb what was probably a 60 foot route with 50 feet of deck line and a handful of biners (no draws, just biners), along with his completely unaware belayer girlfriend. Or the folks we saw up in Big Cottonwood Canyon this fall, similar situation of a guy apparently trying to impress the girl, trying to solo a 5.hard route to get to the top to put a toprope on another route, with non-climbing rope that probably wouldn't reach the ground and nothing to anchor it with. In each case, friends of mine stepped up and told them in no uncertain terms ("we don't want to be part of a rescue") what was wrong with what they were attempting to do.

I also have to add--you men are really in sad shape with those websites. MSN's women's site had an article a while back about climbing as a fitness option--the article has some issues, for sure, but overall I think it gives a better sense of what to expect, how to get involved, etc: http://women.msn.com/a458056.armx


crimpandgo


Apr 13, 2005, 5:20 PM
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I don't see the article causing much harm; after all, you can go out and buy as much gear as you want, but you can't use it until you at least know how to put it all together -- even poorly -- to set up for a climb. And that's when any idiot who actually followed the advice in this article would realize that they needed more information. And if they don't, well......too bad for them.

Dingus: Small inaccuracies would be acceptable, but errors like the ones in this article are just inexcusable. You could throw out any random topic that I currently know nothing about, and I guarantee you that even I (a non-journalist) could write a more credible article on the subject given a few hours of Googling. This guy clearly plagiarized his information from the other article and should be embarrassed.

I got a good chuckle out of the article as well. It is pretty easy to write this off because we know so much about the sport. But I have to disagree with the bolded section above. One trip to the crag will prove that one only needs a rope to kill themselves when they have no background and knowledge about how to use it. If they have suction cups, who knows what will happen to them.

Thers is an advertisement on one of the websites about a magnetic wall. You wear magnets on hands and feet to climb. Maybe that would work better than suction cups???? depending on the amount of metal in the rock ??? :)


Partner nostalgia


Apr 13, 2005, 5:37 PM
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In reply to:
In reply to:
OTOH, many people will consider rock climbing a sport - especially with misinformation flying aroun - not realizing how dangerous it is when taken lightly.

WHO??? Who are these 'many people and why aren't they dying oin droves?
I would expect to see the 'idiot dies climbing with Mom's clothesline' articles daily or some s---.
But guess what? That ain't happening. See, us sitting here at our computers its real easy to forget there are fundamental fears involved in rock climbing. Soon as you get about 10 feet up or some some fairly predictable processes begin.
Yes, there are idiot noobs out there. If you think exercising one shiity article from the human database will make an iota of difference, you are mistaken.
I submit that the influence you people ascribe to this article is WAY OVER ESTIMATED.

Easy, man, remember your blood pressure. ;) You've taken my response out of context. I was merely saying that your joking assertation that people DO know they shouldn't fight fires without training, and DON'T know that they shouldn't rock climb without at least some training was not a joke.

I never said, nor do I believe, that an article like this will cause herds of n00b-lemmings to plummet from cliffs.

At least I'm pretty sure I never said it ;) I'll know when the quotes start showing up...

-Joe


mistertyler


Apr 13, 2005, 5:42 PM
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How is a non climber to know, when even the climbing sites advertise the s---???

Well, cross-checking his sources would have been a goog start. A simple Google search for "aid climbing" and "suction cups" returns pages on geckos, salamanders and a toy called the "Wild Climber Tree Frog Wall Climbing Robot".

True, there's a bunch of really bad information out there on the Internet, but I can't imagine it would have taken that much research before stumbling upon words like "sport climbing" and "trad climbing", or a thousand references to bouldering that would make it very clear that bouldering is not like hiking with obstacles. Even the first hit from a search for "rock climbing" and "types" is a nice little article from "HowStuffWorks" that would have made him question some of the content in his article.

In reply to:
I'm sure you could. That whole journalist thing is easy as pie anyway.

*Real* journalism isn't easy. This isn't real journalism, though. He plagiarized a horrible article on climbing without even basic fact-checking and made himself look like an ass.


dingus


Apr 13, 2005, 5:47 PM
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In reply to:
or a thousand references to bouldering that would make it very clear that bouldering is not like hiking with obstacles.

Um, how does one get from one boulder to the other? Is there some fundamental difference between the concept of a boulder problem and a boulder obstacle?

The whole hiking thing seemed right on to me... climbing DOES involve a lot of hiking.

Cheers
DMT

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