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oopps
Mar 29, 2006, 12:08 PM
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I started thinking this when I read the "Femininity and Sports" thread, but did not want to hijack, so I figured I'd start another thread.
I've always been a tomboy. At school I was always into sports, played on a different team ever season, loved PE, ect. I went hiking and camping from a very young age and so was never freaked out by bugs, spiders, snakes and the like. I didn't (and still don't) mind getting dirty. For a while, I took pride in being more "macho" than most guys; I still take it as a compliment when a boy tells me I have more balls than he does. Growing up without any real female influence, I never really out grew this stage.
Sometimes now I'll look at the girly-girls and I honestly wish that I could be like that - sometimes I just want to feel like a girl. I don't own a skirt or any vaguely girly clothes, and to be honest I would feel embarrassed buying any (I doubt I would know what to get anyway). I don't wear make-up, because I don't know how to put it on. But mostly, I don't see any way to keep doing what I love, climbing, camping and playing sports, and still occasionally get to be feminine.
So what I was hoping for was some advice from the more feminine of you out there ( I know there have to be some of you on this site) about how you mange to climb and still be feminine - is there anyway to have both? And also, though this may sound kinda stupid, for those of you who didn't have older sisters/mothers/ect how did you learn to be a girl (put make-up on and do your hair and similar) - I feel like I should intuitively know this stuff, but I don't.
Sorry if this has been long, boring or confusing - I just really didn't know how to word this. Thank you for any help.
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kasharp
Mar 29, 2006, 2:48 PM
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i don't consider myself a "girly-girl" but i do like wearing skirts and playing "dress up" sometimes for no particular reason. but i also don't have a problem getting dirty and camping and stuff... but i don't like bugs, i won't lie.
for me, i'm a girly girl when i'm at home ... not camping, climbing, playing sports, anything like that. i hate girls that wear makeup to the gym, or anything like that. you'll find me generally wearing an old guys t-shirt and shorts when i do physical activity ... i hate seeing girls who walk around in little outfits, but don't do anything! i'll wear a sports bra if it's really hot, but mostly i just try to be comfortable and don't care about "girly" things at that time.
but, after camping and climbing for a few days with several farting, smelly, nasty guys (i don't know why they can't put deoderant on every once in a while) ... i sometimes just want to go home and be as girly as possible. take a long shower, sit in front of the tv and watch "my best friends wedding" (or some other chick flick) and eat chocolate. and usually i'm tired of looking like a bum, so i'll actually do my hair (which is a big task for me - stupid curly hair) and put on some make up and try to look cute if i'm going somewhere. that usually wears off after a day or two, though, haha, and i'm back to not caring that much.
so i don't think it's hard to seperate the two ... wearing skirts when you have the opportunity and your harness other times. just don't be the girl that gets all dolled up to go to the crag and just sits there and won't get a little dirty.
and as far as learning how to put make up on etc., my mom never showed me how to do any of that stuff either, and trust me, the first few times i tried on my own were a bit of a disaster... but my friends steared me in the right direction with all that stuff, though i'm still not that skilled.
probably the best thing to do is go to a place like "sephora" or a department store and ask them for some make up recommendations, and usually they'll show you how to put it on and all that jazz.
good luck :D
and it really is fun being girly sometimes ... but it's also just as fun playing in the mud :lol:
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erisspirit
Mar 29, 2006, 4:53 PM
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For the most Part I am pretty much a tomboy as well...I like climbing, camping, hiking, snowboarding, I own a motorcycle and have taken it to the racetrack. Most my friends think of me as one of the guys. I still however like to be girly... I also just separate the two... both are fun, but in different ways. I dont wear makeup when Im camping or doing sports... thats just plain silly :P but if I go out for a night on the town with friends I will sometimes put on some makeup and a skirt. I even just did a photoshoot with a friend dawning a mini skirt and a load of makeup.
I am still not trendy however... and I will never be. If you want to be more girly, find some girls to go shopping with you. Try on some clothes and get their reactions. If you feel comfortable in a skirt and they say you look awesome in it, then you will most likely start feeling more comfortable about it. You just dont because its a new idea. As for makeup listen to friends... read some articles online... odds are you will never feel completely comfortable decked out in tons of makeup. I still go for the natural look even when I do dress up. The most important thing is don't compromise yourself just to be more girly. Find skirts, cloths, and makeup that still fit your personality. You will never find me running around in a pink dress with spike heels, its just not me.
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climberterp
Mar 29, 2006, 5:22 PM
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I'm not much of a girly girl, but I do think it's fun to be girly every once in a while. Cute clothes and shoes are my weakness when it comes to girly stuff! However, I am still a makeup and hair klutz; mascara is about all I can handle and my hair is always either in barettes or a ponytail to keep it out of my face. My mom was never a makeup and hair kind of person, so I guess I get that from her!
I think it's really fun to be able to be both tomboy and girly as my mood dictates--to go from grungy sweats to a sequined top and everywhere inbetween. So go embrace your inner girly-girl every once in a while! Get a cute little tank top and skirt and learn how to bat your eyelashes just for fun :D Then go out on the rock and crush!
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aimeerose
Mar 29, 2006, 5:29 PM
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Yeah, it would be great if you had some female friends who could help you with the whole makeup and clothes thing. I didn't have sisters and for some reason my mom didn't teach me anything about makeup, but often times even the little package with eyeshadows will tell you how to apply them. Stick with neutral shades to start with- browns for the eyes and light colors for the lips. Personally, I hate mascara. Wish I liked it, but hate the way it feels on my eyes.
As for clothes, you don't need to wear skirts to be girly. I LOVE cute tank tops, especially greeen ones. I seriously have over 15 green tank tops! I also really like sundressess. You don't have to worry about matching them to something, like skirts and they are super comfortable.
But, don't ever lose sight of who you are and don't do it if it's not fun!
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bahandi
Mar 29, 2006, 11:01 PM
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want to be a girly girl without having to change your wardrobe and learn how to put on makeup? find out how guys/men/boys (however you want to classify them) perceive what a girly girl is.
now i'm a male, so this may not mean much to you, but any girl who is not afraid to show me how she feels for me (getting close, spending time), is a girly girl in my books. now, i'm not talking about public displays of affection, nor am i saying act differently than you normally would, just let the guy know he's wanted (not needed, though one could argue that) and i'm sure that's all the girly-ness he may want.
if any of what i said hit a wrong chord, please clarify. i find that most arguments are over semantics. also, to loosely quote Levar Burton (sp?) 'don't take my word for it.' :D
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acacongua
Mar 30, 2006, 1:58 AM
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If you don't have friends that are into shopping and the like, pick up some magazines. I was lucky to have friends who love to shop and someone who is into fashion from a completely artistic perspective. Those friends reformed me. Cultivate those friends because I'm sure once they have a make-over opp, they'll take it.
Just to warn you, it might take a little money.
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granite_grrl
Mar 30, 2006, 5:07 AM
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In reply to: Sometimes now I'll look at the girly-girls and I honestly wish that I could be like that - sometimes I just want to feel like a girl.
I feel like that whenever I'm around my sisters. I'm like, wow, why can't I wear that much makeup, or that much jewlery. But honestly, I'm not sure if I'd feel comfortable in my own skin if I did.
I think that you probably want to feel more feminine than anything else, you're probably plenty feminine in your own way (confident, sexy, pretty, etc). You might start by buying a single skirt. Something like a jean skirt, or something else very simple that you can wear like a pair of jeans. I only own a couple pairs of shorts, in the summer I mostly wear skirts, I really do find them more comfortable. Or buy a single dress that you feel pretty in and wear it around town. But also keep in mind that there are some very functional sporty tops that are flattering/pretty/sexy, or whatever it is that you're looking for. I beleive that feminine and stinky dirt bag can co-exist at the same time.
As for hair, makeup, etc. I know that my mother never showed me a bloody thing. Buy some simple things like a tube of lipstick and eyeliner....this is pretty much all I own actually, and they're not that hard to put on.
But in the end you've gotta be yourself, and dress up and wear makeup because you want to have fun with yourself, not because you want to be perceived as a more feminine person.
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nola_angie
Mar 30, 2006, 11:45 AM
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I fully admit I can't dress myself for dates. When I lived in NOLA, I would just make a panicked phone call to my friends down the street....
A little thing that helped me with make-up, tho: go to those expensive make-up booths at the mall. Get a pro to do your make-up. Buy a thing of their eye shadow or something, but WATCH EVERYTHING SHE DOES and ASK a lot of questions. Don't be afraid to say "I don't want my foundation put on with a paint brush, I don't like wearing that much goop on my face' or 'please don't put pink lip gloss on me'...but DO respect that this person will know what colors look good on you and, basically, is an expert in something I :oops: ....I mean *you* are not a pro at!!! You can do the same thing with clothing. Just walk into and Express or something and say 'help'. Give the sales ladies a ballpark, tell them you want something that you can mix and match at home, and let them dress you up. I wound up with a great outfit for my 10 year reunion like this!!!
Be true to yourself. If you want to keep your girly girl options open, then do it. But if it's not you, then don't.
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tamtam
Mar 30, 2006, 4:48 PM
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nola_angie's advice is spot-on.
I went to the Macy's Lancome section, and the lady did like an hour-long makeup thing with me. She asked first what I wanted, and I said "a natural look. And easy and quick." She helped me pick colors, showed me how to put it on, tried different looks, etc., until both she and I agreed that I looked pretty darned good, and I felt comfortable with it.
People like her usually seem to enjoy "giving a make-over," but she is also trying to sell you a lot of expensive makeup. I did end up buying some stuff, and it was like $75. But since I only wear make up maybe a half dozen times a year, it has lasted me a decade.
Same thing goes for fancy dress shops. Like angie said, don't get caught up in the clothes / makeup themselves. Really pay attention to what the saleswoman is doing, the advice she gives, etc. Then you can take that information and use it to find affordable clothes that still look nice.
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oopps
Apr 3, 2006, 10:37 AM
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Thanks to everyone for responding. It's also nice to know that I'm not the only one who sometimes wants to be girly.
One of my friends occasionally does my make-up so I asked her to explain what she was doing - she laughed her head off but agreed to try and explain. (I would try the going to a store and asking route, except a)There isn't really a Japanese equivalent of these stores and b) Even if there was, my Japanese probably isn't good enough for that kind of conversation - But thank you for the suggestion nola_angie and tamtam)
Like a lot of you have said, I probably wont ever be comfortable in girly gear - but that doesn't mean I can't have fun trying it.
Thanks again for the help.
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clee03m
Apr 3, 2006, 1:48 PM
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For make up, there are books with detailed instructions on how to apply. They start from skin care to base to eyes, etc. Find one that breaks up make up with what brand and color to buy followed up with step by step instructions. Even in Japan, you should be able to get them. And Shisheido has great make up, so you will be able to get them at a domestic price.
I think for outfits, sometimes it is less daunting to just get the entire oufit on display than to try to put something together yourself. And having one or two outfits that you really feel feminine in is all you need.
Are you feeling the need to be feminine because you are in Japan? I'm Korean-American, and when ever I am in Korea, I feel like all the girls are perfectly made up with super trendy outfits. And they wiegh 10 lbs each!
Good luck
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aimeerose
Apr 4, 2006, 5:35 PM
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Oh, also, to feel more girly, I always wear earings. I have found small hoops are the greatest. You can wear them and you don't even know they are there. There are "huggy" style hoop that click together and are super convienent.
Also, you could try wearing skorts. So, it's like wearing shorts, but you have a skirt over the top. Seems like a good transition between shorts and skirts. I love them, cause I can wear a skirt, but still sit "indian style" if I want.
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mindaa
Apr 4, 2006, 10:29 PM
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In addition to going to the makeup counter, you might treat yourself to a manicure, pedicure & facial. It feels good to be pampered and pretty!
You could look for a local beauty college that offers these services (at a bargain price), so then it won't feel like you're sacrificing gear for girly stuff. :wink:
Oops, I just read some more, this might be also be a challenge given you're in Japan.
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livvy
Apr 26, 2006, 5:03 PM
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In reply to: And also, though this may sound kinda stupid, for those of you who didn't have older sisters/mothers/ect how did you learn to be a girl (put make-up on and do your hair and similar) - I feel like I should intuitively know this stuff, but I don't.
This is a very not-stupid question, all of this stuff is learned and as someone who didn't have a sister (but felt the makeup urges) it was hard to figure out where to go with that.
A few things that I did that may or may not be useful to you:
1) As others have said, go to a department store's makeup section, but I would add to find a woman at a makeup counter who is wearing 'the amount of makeup you might want to wear' or 'looks like you might want to look' and ask her to do your makeup. She'll do it at the counter using her products for free and you can ask a million questions (be brave) about how she is applying things. Take notes about what works and doesn't. Don't buy anything right then. Do this a few times.
2) Copy people's clothes, hair etc. When you see someone you think looks great walking down the street, notice her clothes and hair and then try those things on at the clothing store or at your hair stylist. If you see someone with a face somewhat like yours and a good cut, stop them and ask them where they get their hair cut. As someone with short mod hair I get stopped occasionally for that question and it is SUPER flattering so you aren't bothering the woman by stopping them.
3) As you copy you'll start to decide what works for you and start making your own style choices.
Finally - of course, all of this is if the motivation to be girly is coming from inside of you. If you don't want to be girly, but feel pressure to be girly, screw them all and don't dump the tons of money into hair and clothes and makeup. I enjoy dumping my money into those things like a hobby - similar to someone buying strange knick knacks - but I keep in mind that it is just that - ornamentation. It's not necessary and it doesnt' define me.
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nola_angie
Apr 27, 2006, 3:17 AM
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In reply to: Finally - of course, all of this is if the motivation to be girly is coming from inside of you. If you don't want to be girly, but feel pressure to be girly, screw them all and don't dump the tons of money into hair and clothes and makeup. I enjoy dumping my money into those things like a hobby - similar to someone buying strange knick knacks - but I keep in mind that it is just that - ornamentation. It's not necessary and it doesnt' define me.
AMEN! well said. if I had a trophy....
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spunkyredraider
May 19, 2006, 1:25 AM
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My mom only wears mascara and I think I've seen her in a skirt once maybe twice. When I was in dance I had to have the teacher or the other girls do my make up. I finally asked one of them how to do it myself and it took alot of practice (I worked on it a year before I was comfortable going out in public when I had done my make up). I still don't usually wear it. When I started climbing, my girliness started to decrease even more because mostly guys climb at school with me. I joined a sorority and that taught me how to be more girly, but it helped that the sorority I joined were the athletic sorority girls.
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crazyclimbergirl
May 22, 2006, 9:17 PM
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You know, I've always been a mutt of tomboy and girly girl. I don't know many girls who wear min skirts to auto shop and changed into grungy jeans to work on her car in high school. I think it's an appropriate balance of the two. There are lots of clothing companies that sre now making outdoor clothing that's also "way cute & girlie". I love prana and patagoins, their stuff is so comfortable and stylish. And as far as makeup goes, I rarely wear it anymore, but I still feel girly. It might be worth it to get your makeup done at a place at the mall and buy a few essentials, eye shadow, mascara, lip glossm and some eye liner. Everyone and a while I wake up and put some on just to feel girly. I think slowly incorporating a few girly things like a necklace or a hair scarf will add a little bit of girly without being too much.
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rockstar7
May 24, 2006, 8:57 PM
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I think there are a lot of girls that feel the same way as you do. For me, I am a hairstylist, so I have always lived kind of in 2 separate worlds: Fashion and beauty industry and the tomboyish rockclimber chick lifestyle. I don't like wear makeup to climb or anything, but here is some advice that may help ease you into feeling a little more feminine.
1> Lip Gloss instead of chapstick
2> Going shopping with your gut feeling. The last thing you want to do is buy a bunch of stuff that you won't wear. Try one thing at a time.
3> Have fun and when people tell you something looks good, accept the compliment.
4> If you still want to keep a natural look, Aveda is really good at not overdoing it. Try an Aveda salon and they do free makeup applications plus their makeup is vegan and usually has sunscreen in it.
Good luck!
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dayspringgirl
Jun 13, 2006, 9:30 PM
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alexis_86
Jun 14, 2006, 6:11 AM
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About the skill in apply make up thing. It took me a good three years before I could apply make up without ending up with a bozo the clown result. Even now, the only things I'm confident of applying are eye color, mascara, rouge and lip gloss. I still prefer being dirty and sweaty, although if I'm dirty and sweaty in cute climbing pants or a cute jersey, I don't mind that either.
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s
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Jun 19, 2006, 3:44 PM
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Ya know, I pretty much have decided that it's all about how I feel rather than how I look. I detest shopping of any sort (hence the bare shelves in my kitchen and the out of date wardrobe) and I don't wear make up; luckily, I do have curly hair, so I can get away with not fixing it (I don't even own a hair dryer or hair brush.) That said, however, I do have my staples of girliness: my earrings (just little ones, but they are my concession to jewelry; my skorts (mentioned earlier and for the same reasons!) and my toenails. The toenails are always painted, and if the top coat is that sparkly glitter stuff, then you can make it right at two weeks without having to redo the nails... Something about the glitter that keeps the climbing shoes from rubbing off all the polish...)
Hanging out with the guys, getting dirty, climbing trees and rocks and playing outside are all a small part of truly living. Be yourself, have fun, and make sure you're wanting to be girlie for yourself, not for anyone else. As long as you're true to yourself and your relationships (platonic and romantic alike) then you'll be perfectly girly.
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granite_grrl
Jun 19, 2006, 7:03 PM
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Something I realized looking at this thread....there are all these suggestions on how to feel more girly. Some say wear skirts, others say to wear lip gloss, still another says she likes to paint her toe nails. But its not the same for everyone.
If there's one thing to learn from this thread is that many girls who climb and get banged up and filthy from their climbing they still consider themselves feminine and a little girly. Find out what makes you feel nice or pretty, do it and enjoy it because everyones different.
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librik
Jun 21, 2006, 4:11 PM
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From somebody who tries to be very feminine in her appearance :)
1) I have to say that I completely agree that being girly is not about the looks at all, it's ALL in the attitude.
2) For me, a big thing about girlyness in physical aspect is as simple as hygiene. (barring backpacking trips :)
3) If you are one of those girls with great complexion, fresh skin and bright coloration, you DON'T NEED MAKEUP. In any event, start small, figure out what you need the most. Say, for me, it's eyebrow shadows, my eyebrows just stop in the middle, looks very funky. It can be foundation, it can be mascara (by the way, I swear by Maybelinne, you know, the one in a pink tube, it's cheap and awesome, much better than expensive ones), stick with one or two things, there's no reason to wear it all.
4) If you want jewelry, that's great, I think two most easy-never-get-in-your-way pieces are a) necklace and b) if you ears are pierced, earrings. With necklaces, i think that the ones made of natural materials (hemp, leather) look great, if that's your thing
5) I personally think that when it comes to clothes, only one piece is important determinant of girliness: shoes. And I don't mean spiky ones, but when you can, wear athletic shoes that are nice and small in appearance, and that are not dirty or falling apart. If you have small feet, that's great, pretty much everything would look good on you. I have huge feet, so I really have to shop around, and even then my feet never look pretty.
5) But, again, it's not about clothes or makeup, it's about attitude.
What do you girls (and guys) think about this?
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mookmook
Jul 23, 2006, 11:16 PM
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in terms of picking out "girly clothes" I don't think anyone can really give you too much advice besides maybe what looks good on you. But if you want to have some sort of a style and feel comfortable in it, you really have to pick it yourself. and if you think all of it looks stupid and you can't rock it confidently, then fuck it. Guys prefer girls in tshirts anyways. it's fact.
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