|
clausti
Aug 9, 2007, 1:33 AM
Post #1 of 48
(1235 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Oct 5, 2004
Posts: 5690
|
W night, home alone, drinking a bottle of red wine bar
Report this Post
|
Can't Post
|
|
wednesday night, went to the wrong place for the swing dance so didnt get to dance, boyfriend flew home, parents and siblings point blank tellin' a person to get married, drinking a bottle of red wine and talking to my cat, BAR, open.
other varieties of liquor and talking to other varieties of animals are welcome.
|
|
|
|
|
dingus
Aug 9, 2007, 1:42 AM
Post #2 of 48
(1230 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Dec 16, 2002
Posts: 17398
|
Now is the time for wanton, passionate, kinky and prolonged but ultimately forgettable sex.
Shoot me a PM....
DMT
|
|
|
|
|
dingus
Aug 9, 2007, 1:43 AM
Post #3 of 48
(1227 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Dec 16, 2002
Posts: 17398
|
ps. Don't even think about marrying that dude. You're way too young.
DMT
|
|
|
|
|
blondgecko
Moderator
Aug 9, 2007, 1:51 AM
Post #4 of 48
(1222 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Jul 2, 2004
Posts: 7666
|
Well, I'm home sick with a nasty cold, so no drinking for me. Still, commiserations.
Thankfully, I never had my parents telling me to get married, but if they had, I would have told them in no uncertain terms that I was an adult and could make my own decisions. Still, married life isn't too bad. 
|
|
|
|
|
macherry
Aug 9, 2007, 1:56 AM
Post #5 of 48
(1221 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Sep 10, 2003
Posts: 15848
|
i'll have a glass of red.
and i'll second what dingus said.......not the sex part, but too young to get married.
|
|
|
|
|
clausti
Aug 9, 2007, 2:07 AM
Post #6 of 48
(1216 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Oct 5, 2004
Posts: 5690
|
luckily, i told my mom point blank, in no uncertain terms, that i am not getting married this fall.
and after that i'll have already been living in sin, anyways, so time frame becomes less important.
the red is yellowtail shiraz, btw. its not at all bad for grocery store wine.
|
|
|
|
|
zeke_sf
Aug 9, 2007, 2:18 AM
Post #7 of 48
(1212 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Apr 28, 2006
Posts: 18730
|
clausti wrote: luckily, i told my mom point blank, in no uncertain terms, that i am not getting married this fall. and after that i'll have already been living in sin, anyways, so time frame becomes less important. the red is yellowtail shiraz, btw. its not at all bad for grocery store wine.
That's that Australian shi(ra)z? Good stuff. As long as it isn't rot gut. BTW, when are you having kids?
|
|
|
|
|
clausti
Aug 9, 2007, 2:26 AM
Post #8 of 48
(1210 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Oct 5, 2004
Posts: 5690
|
zeke_sf wrote: clausti wrote: luckily, i told my mom point blank, in no uncertain terms, that i am not getting married this fall. and after that i'll have already been living in sin, anyways, so time frame becomes less important. the red is yellowtail shiraz, btw. its not at all bad for grocery store wine. That's that Australian shi(ra)z? Good stuff. As long as it isn't rot gut. BTW, when are you having kids?
that's really in teh lord's hands.
|
|
|
|
|
macherry
Aug 9, 2007, 2:35 AM
Post #9 of 48
(1207 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Sep 10, 2003
Posts: 15848
|
clausti wrote: luckily, i told my mom point blank, in no uncertain terms, that i am not getting married this fall. and after that i'll have already been living in sin, anyways, so time frame becomes less important. the red is yellowtail shiraz, btw. its not at all bad for grocery store wine.
yellowtail is alright, most aussie shiraz is fine.
it's the initial shock with the folks, what will they tell the relatives, etc. hopefully, soon, it will be a dead issue.
|
|
|
|
|
clausti
Aug 9, 2007, 2:38 AM
Post #10 of 48
(1204 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Oct 5, 2004
Posts: 5690
|
macherry wrote: it's the initial shock with the folks, ...
'snot. told them, well, told mom, months ago. she said dad wasnt happy about it then.
this issue will never die, and i kinda feel like not answering the phone when its my family, for like a week. (aka everyone agrees with mom and dad)
|
|
|
|
|
zeke_sf
Aug 9, 2007, 2:44 AM
Post #11 of 48
(1202 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Apr 28, 2006
Posts: 18730
|
clausti wrote: macherry wrote: it's the initial shock with the folks, ... 'snot. told them, well, told mom, months ago. she said dad wasnt happy about it then. this issue will never die, and i kinda feel like not answering the phone when its my family, for like a week. (aka everyone agrees with mom and dad)
Sounds like a lot of pressure that has nothing to do with whether you are happy or not. Get married and they're going to want kids soon after, guaranteed. How much does boyfriend know of this? How much of this is you want to be married but aren't sure where he's at and that's why you don't need to hear from others? I dunno. I say, drink and be happy. Animals are also good, understanding friends. I wish I had a pet right about now.
|
|
|
|
|
wideguy
Aug 9, 2007, 2:49 AM
Post #12 of 48
(1200 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Jan 9, 2003
Posts: 15046
|
Yellowtail Shiraz is pretty decent.
As for the family, you seemed like you kind of expected this. Don't stop answering the phone. Be nice and cordial, happily discuss other family biz, but if/when the conversation turns towards disapproval of your choices, then politely, but abruptly, hang up. Word will filter through pretty quick that if they still want to share any part of your life, they will stay off that subject.
Then have him sneak into their houses and dickstab them in the fartbox.
(Sorry, just hadn't seen that in a while  )
|
|
|
|
|
clausti
Aug 9, 2007, 2:57 AM
Post #13 of 48
(1195 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Oct 5, 2004
Posts: 5690
|
zeke_sf wrote: clausti wrote: macherry wrote: it's the initial shock with the folks, ... 'snot. told them, well, told mom, months ago. she said dad wasnt happy about it then. this issue will never die, and i kinda feel like not answering the phone when its my family, for like a week. (aka everyone agrees with mom and dad) Sounds like a lot of pressure that has nothing to do with whether you are happy or not. Get married and they're going to want kids soon after, guaranteed. How much does boyfriend know of this? How much of this is you want to be married but aren't sure where he's at and that's why you don't need to hear from others? I dunno. I say, drink and be happy. Animals are also good, understanding friends. I wish I had a pet right about now.
the boyfriend knows everything. and my parents know i have no intention (and have never had any intention) of giving them grandkids. they have two already, and the promise of two more (i have two sisters who really want kids).
its funny, the thing about me being happy, and that consideration, its not like it comes off like they're embarrassed of me. the reason we had this conversation is cause they freaking drove like 20 hours, in a uhaul truck, to help me move my stuff from florida/sc to ohio. they obviously care. but they seem really hung up on the "different mind set" of living together vs being married. my parents ( and me for that matter ) are the "you dont get divorced unless the reason is cheating, hitting, or kid touching" kind. and cheating is a case by case basis.
does it really make that much difference? do you really need a legal/religous ceremony to make a committment, if you want to make a comittment? the statistics for living together leading to a higher divorce rate, you cant even begin to calculate all the risk factors. i'm under 25, i havnet finished school yet, i am highly educated, i will earn a decent amount of money, all of which make me more "likely" to divorce. shotgun wedding doesnt seem likely to change that. i dont think trappin the boyfriend is really a good strategy, neh?
but i dont want to be a dick to my parents either. they have given me a lot. another word for this is 'spoiled.' family is such a tangle.
(This post was edited by clausti on Aug 9, 2007, 3:01 AM)
|
|
|
|
|
zeke_sf
Aug 9, 2007, 3:19 AM
Post #14 of 48
(1186 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Apr 28, 2006
Posts: 18730
|
Yeah, it wouldn't bother you if you didn't care what your parents thought. It seems like they see your boyfriend makes you happy and they think you have to hold onto that. I'd try not to break marriage down to statistics before getting married, but I wouldn't rush blindly into something that is for everybody but you. I think the "different mindset" of marriage is such an artificial thing. Marriage shouldn't change anything about a relationship. No miraculous transformation happens, that's for sure. Maybe they want you to focus less on frivolous things like climbing and think more about settling down into a house. Maybe they want you to be more conventional, focusing on your stock options and not your redpoints. Maybe they just want to say, "Oh, Clausti's out rock climbing...with her husband."
|
|
|
|
|
dr_feelgood
Aug 9, 2007, 3:46 AM
Post #15 of 48
(1176 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Apr 6, 2004
Posts: 26060
|
clausti wrote: luckily, i told my mom point blank, in no uncertain terms, that i am not getting married this fall. and after that i'll have already been living in sin, anyways, so time frame becomes less important. the red is yellowtail shiraz, btw. its not at all bad for grocery store wine.
True superheros drink wine from the box.
|
|
|
|
|
clausti
Aug 9, 2007, 3:51 AM
Post #16 of 48
(1172 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Oct 5, 2004
Posts: 5690
|
dr_feelgood wrote: clausti wrote: luckily, i told my mom point blank, in no uncertain terms, that i am not getting married this fall. and after that i'll have already been living in sin, anyways, so time frame becomes less important. the red is yellowtail shiraz, btw. its not at all bad for grocery store wine. True superheros drink wine from the box.
everyone should get on AIM, and we should have a chat room. yay wine.
|
|
|
|
|
caughtinside
Aug 9, 2007, 3:52 AM
Post #17 of 48
(1172 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Jan 8, 2003
Posts: 30603
|
Ah yes, pressure from the fam damily. Although I have never experienced what you are, it is always a fine line.
A few years back, I was living in Hawaii. My seasonal job ended, and there I was, an unemployed surfer on the dole. Sounds like a dream come true, right? Almost. My mother used to call DAILY to harass me, and her anger was clear when she'd say "I can't believe my able bodied son is out there just, just SURFING! all the time."
The accumulated guilt began to ruin the vibe for me. I even tried not answering the phone for days at a time, but still it gnawed. Here I was, having a great time and being a total disappointment. And you're right, it wouldn't have been so bad if my folks hadn't been so good to me (and still are to this day) and I could have told them to go to hell.
I do have to admit though, after meeting some of my girlfriends, they never pushed me to get hitched.
Although there is one that they really liked that they still always ask about.
|
|
|
|
|
macherry
Aug 9, 2007, 3:58 AM
Post #18 of 48
(1169 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Sep 10, 2003
Posts: 15848
|
clausti wrote: macherry wrote: it's the initial shock with the folks, ... 'snot. told them, well, told mom, months ago. she said dad wasnt happy about it then. this issue will never die, and i kinda feel like not answering the phone when its my family, for like a week. (aka everyone agrees with mom and dad)
well, hopefully soon it will be an issue that won't be brought up.
i was fortunate to have older brothers and sisters who broke the way for me. My older brother was divorced twice by the time i shacked up. They "encouraged" him to marry at 19 when his girlfriend was pregnant. That marriage lasted for 6 years, two kids and a very messy divorce. I think that convinced them that marriage wasn't the end all be all. Funny, the folks were just happy i found someone who wasn't a dirtbag............like previous bf's.
I have friends, (one of whom stood up for me at my wedding), who have been living together for 19 years. never married, never plan on getting hitched, but they're happier than most couples, have 4 kids.
|
|
|
|
|
dr_feelgood
Aug 9, 2007, 4:02 AM
Post #19 of 48
(1165 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Apr 6, 2004
Posts: 26060
|
clausti wrote: dr_feelgood wrote: clausti wrote: luckily, i told my mom point blank, in no uncertain terms, that i am not getting married this fall. and after that i'll have already been living in sin, anyways, so time frame becomes less important. the red is yellowtail shiraz, btw. its not at all bad for grocery store wine. True superheros drink wine from the box. everyone should get on AIM, and we should have a chat room. yay wine.
Will she remember posting this tomorrow?
Survey Says:
No!
|
|
|
|
|
clausti
Aug 9, 2007, 4:11 AM
Post #20 of 48
(1161 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Oct 5, 2004
Posts: 5690
|
dr_feelgood wrote: clausti wrote: dr_feelgood wrote: clausti wrote: luckily, i told my mom point blank, in no uncertain terms, that i am not getting married this fall. and after that i'll have already been living in sin, anyways, so time frame becomes less important. the red is yellowtail shiraz, btw. its not at all bad for grocery store wine. True superheros drink wine from the box. everyone should get on AIM, and we should have a chat room. yay wine. Will she remember posting this tomorrow? Survey Says: No!
hush, you.
|
|
|
|
|
gwendolyn
Aug 9, 2007, 4:35 AM
Post #21 of 48
(1159 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Apr 10, 2007
Posts: 310
|
clausti wrote: luckily, i told my mom point blank, in no uncertain terms, that i am not getting married this fall. and after that i'll have already been living in sin, anyways, so time frame becomes less important. the red is yellowtail shiraz, btw. its not at all bad for grocery store wine.
Yellowtail Shiraz, they sell it at Trader Joe's - I'm all about it. I'm enjoying a glass of white myself. But red can certainly hit the spot when the mood strikes.
Cheers to your not getting married!
|
|
|
|
|
clausti
Aug 9, 2007, 4:39 AM
Post #22 of 48
(1155 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Oct 5, 2004
Posts: 5690
|
gwendolyn wrote: clausti wrote: luckily, i told my mom point blank, in no uncertain terms, that i am not getting married this fall. and after that i'll have already been living in sin, anyways, so time frame becomes less important. the red is yellowtail shiraz, btw. its not at all bad for grocery store wine. Yellowtail Shiraz, they sell it at Trader Joe's - I'm all about it. I'm enjoying a glass of white myself. But red can certainly hit the spot when the mood strikes. Cheers to your not getting married!
vaugly remeinds me of the sex and the city episode where the blond slut has the I'm-not0having-a-baby shower. that was pretty great.
|
|
|
|
|
gwendolyn
Aug 9, 2007, 4:42 AM
Post #23 of 48
(1154 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Apr 10, 2007
Posts: 310
|
clausti wrote: gwendolyn wrote: clausti wrote: luckily, i told my mom point blank, in no uncertain terms, that i am not getting married this fall. and after that i'll have already been living in sin, anyways, so time frame becomes less important. the red is yellowtail shiraz, btw. its not at all bad for grocery store wine. Yellowtail Shiraz, they sell it at Trader Joe's - I'm all about it. I'm enjoying a glass of white myself. But red can certainly hit the spot when the mood strikes. Cheers to your not getting married! vaugly remeinds me of the sex and the city episode where the blond slut has the I'm-not0having-a-baby shower. that was pretty great.
Well, if you live in NYC and shell out thousands for baby showers every spring, I'm sure an I'm-not-having-a-baby shower makes perfect sense after a while. Fortunately, none of my friends are having kids yet.
|
|
|
|
|
climbs4fun
Moderator
Aug 9, 2007, 4:44 AM
Post #24 of 48
(1150 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Mar 19, 2003
Posts: 9679
|
Sounds like an interesting dilema. I lived with a boyfriend once and his family was a lot like yours. Kept asking when we were getting married. Would have been the dumbest thing ever for us to get married. Glad we didn't.
|
|
|
|
|
gwendolyn
Aug 9, 2007, 4:52 AM
Post #25 of 48
(1144 views)
Shortcut
Registered: Apr 10, 2007
Posts: 310
|
climbs4fun wrote: Sounds like an interesting dilema. I lived with a boyfriend once and his family was a lot like yours. Kept asking when we were getting married. Would have been the dumbest thing ever for us to get married. Glad we didn't.
Easier to see in retrospect but I'm sure you made a good call. Just imagine yourself married to the guy you were dating when you were sixteen, eighteen,... I barely resemble who I was that long ago, who's to say what exes are up to. They could be slinging yayo in Oakland for all I know.
|
|
|
|
|
|
1
