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lpclimber
Jun 10, 2003, 2:10 AM
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In you opinion what is the worst thing to hear when climbing.
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alpinerock
Jun 10, 2003, 2:11 AM
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opps, or the name Mike Camp
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keinangst
Jun 10, 2003, 2:15 AM
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"Aw, man, I think it's cashed." :shock:
"rest there for a sec, I gotta fix this real quick"
or any combination of those two.
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mcgardogen
Jun 10, 2003, 2:19 AM
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off belay!
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cbeltrano
Jun 10, 2003, 2:20 AM
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"ROCK!!!!!"
or some sort of bone or tendon snapping sound i suppose
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lpclimber
Jun 10, 2003, 2:27 AM
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Hold on were switching belays
(true Story)
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alpinerockfiend
Jun 10, 2003, 2:28 AM
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Lighting striking the pinnacle you're climbing on.
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raindog
Jun 10, 2003, 2:34 AM
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Belayer-- "How's that crux going? Did I tell you I went fishing last Wednesday? I caught a huge one. It was THIS BIG!"
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corpse
Jun 10, 2003, 2:41 AM
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yeah, combo of those "off belay, I gotta take a leak.. You want anything to drink?"
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mcgardogen
Jun 10, 2003, 2:42 AM
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climber: watch me!
belayer: sphincter says what?!
(true story)
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tyify
Jun 10, 2003, 3:00 AM
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"Wow that wasn't supposed to break..Oh I got it I tied the knot wrong...Hang on!!"
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lpclimber
Jun 10, 2003, 3:34 AM
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when the climber gets to the top. "now what do i do!"
(True story first lead)
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deadfish
Jun 10, 2003, 3:38 AM
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From belayer at the gym...
"Hang out there for a sec...I'm belaying the wrong rope"
True story.
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crackaddict
Jun 10, 2003, 3:44 AM
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After waiting an hour for your partner to set up his belay.
"What ever you do. Don't fall! I am not to sure about this anchor!"
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meatball
Jun 10, 2003, 4:46 AM
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Did I ever tell you that I'm narcoleptic. Sometimes I'll just be sitting here, and then all of the sudden...
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tenn_dawg
Jun 10, 2003, 4:50 AM
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I'm late...
Travis
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dlintz
Jun 10, 2003, 4:50 AM
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(Singing): "If you're happy and you know it clap your hands......"
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smiley
Jun 10, 2003, 4:56 AM
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"I almost dropped you like a bad habit!"
True story. :x
In reply to: (Singing): "If you're happy and you know it clap your hands......"
Hey, I was the one starting Smiley's Internationally Known Rockclimbing Choir. I don't have any gigs yet... and so far it's just me, but I'm thinking of giving away a free jellybean to anyone who wants to join!! Any takers? :D
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sheldonjr
Jun 10, 2003, 4:57 AM
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"Did he say 'On Belay' or 'Off Belay?'"
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dlintz
Jun 10, 2003, 4:58 AM
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smiley wrote:
i'm pretty much tone deaf, can i just clap? :D
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smiley
Jun 10, 2003, 4:59 AM
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Sure! We need a band! Can I offer you a jellybean? :D
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climbsomething
Jun 10, 2003, 4:59 AM
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Well, I'm not sure if this is bad, but if I ever hear it, I'll eat a pair of tape gloves:
jt512 to climbsomething: "So, Baby, wanna go trad climbing this weekend?"
or
curt: "Gee, I wish I had a rope right now."
or
Jack: "I find nothing more rewarding than Joshua Tree slabs."
:shock:
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acrofobic
Jun 10, 2003, 5:00 AM
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The plop like a watermelon hitting the ground.
After all we are a bag of water
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flying_dutchman
Jun 10, 2003, 5:17 AM
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dead silence...
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smiley
Jun 10, 2003, 5:19 AM
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In reply to: dead silence...
Yeah, I guess that one wins the prize!
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enigma
Jun 10, 2003, 5:24 AM
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---I'm sorry I can't climb today because...my back hurts, my legs are sore, I'm tired, I'm sick, I'm drank too much last night, I'm drunk, I'm sore from bouldering last week, I'd rather look at the scenery,wouldn't you rather hike??????, we climbed yesterday :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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dymondbak37
Jun 10, 2003, 6:54 AM
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Wow, everything except the drunk stuff, I've heard every time I ask my partner to climb. That's sad.
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galt
Jun 10, 2003, 8:01 AM
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ZZZIIIPPPP......... (As you hear the last piece of your pro sliding down the rope...)
(at the crux)
Belay : You know that chick you how slept with last night?
Climber : Yea dude, she was a beast in bed and she was only 17...
Belay : Yea, that was my sister... off belay
(someone at this site posted something along these lines months ago... still the funniest thing I've ever read here)
"Penalty Slack!"
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overlord
Jun 10, 2003, 11:04 AM
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at the anchors:
"hey man, how am i gonna lower you down holding the belay device in my hans :?: :?: :?: "
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roughster
Jun 10, 2003, 11:49 AM
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Your partner saying, "I didn't have any clean underwear this morning, so I am going commando. Don't look up!"
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furryfrisbee
Jun 10, 2003, 1:33 PM
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Posts: 260
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"We need to talk"
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angelaa
Jun 10, 2003, 2:18 PM
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from your belayer:
Ummmm, Are you in a good spot????
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spider_woman
Jun 10, 2003, 2:26 PM
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Belayer- "Hey, I really have to pee, so I am just going to tie you off to this tree, I should be back in a few."
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crag
Jun 10, 2003, 2:42 PM
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Sorry dhude, can make it. Everything else I can deal with. If the belayer has to take a leak - no problem I'll just tie off as they do and wait until the vain is drained. Even if there a complete idiot and think and take a nap while I work out the crux to my on-site of my 5.2 project I can deal with it. Without them showing up leaves with nothing to deal with.
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vertical_planar
Jun 10, 2003, 2:54 PM
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Posts: 320
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on the crux:
Shit! Hang on! My harness is not fully tied!
Happend to me 2 years ago...I still love her:)
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bukel
Jun 10, 2003, 3:02 PM
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Your belaying clamping and shouting "excelent!!!"
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dynoduck
Jun 10, 2003, 3:16 PM
Post #37 of 172
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climber is half way up the climb:
Climber: Where do i go from here?
Belayer: Up!
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jman
Jun 10, 2003, 3:28 PM
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THUMPPP
sound of a climber decking.
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redpoint73
Jun 10, 2003, 3:41 PM
Post #39 of 172
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Registered: Aug 20, 2002
Posts: 1717
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Belayer: "Oh, you're climbing already?!?"
"Are you in a compfortable spot?"
"Oops!"
Climber: "Snake!"
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enitine
Jun 10, 2003, 3:48 PM
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Crunch!!!! (As my ankle breaks into 2 pieces)... :shock: :cry:
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enitine
Jun 10, 2003, 3:52 PM
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Crunch!!!! (As my ankle breaks into 2 pieces)... :shock: :cry:
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bandycoot
Jun 10, 2003, 4:35 PM
Post #42 of 172
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Registered: Nov 25, 2002
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When being lowered after leading a climb, as I leaned back I heard,
"Oh F*ck!!!"
In that split second as my weight fell backwards before the rope caught me my heart just sank and I thought I was a dead man. I have no idea what happened, but I didn't want to know so I didn't ask. I was lowered, just fine, but I'm sure something bad almost happened.
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markc
Jun 10, 2003, 6:00 PM
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Posts: 2481
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I once asked a partner at the top of a pitch "How'd that last nut look? I placed it blind and just kept moving."
He said, "What, the one sitting on top of the hex? Not so good."
Another time I was bailing off of the vegetated ledge at Seneca during a storm. We retreated from the base of the third pitch of le Gourmet down to the lower station, but hadn't anchored yet. So many people were preparing to rap it looked like rats fleeing a sinking ship. The party directly above us started yelling "Whoa, whoa!" I glued myself to the wall, took a deep breath, and prepared to be kicked off into the void. It turned out to be nothing major, but it made for a tense moment.
mark
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bishop
Jun 10, 2003, 6:41 PM
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Posts: 192
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Heard this weekend at the Gunks.
"Ok... I'm not really sure I want to test this anchor... but... on belay... climb when ready!"
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ouflyboy9
Jun 10, 2003, 8:33 PM
Post #45 of 172
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Posts: 103
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Me: falling!!!
Belayer: silence
= ropeburn, bouncing off the dirt fromn 20 feet up
Belayer: uhhh...i thought you said slack
:x
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mcgardogen
Jun 10, 2003, 9:08 PM
Post #46 of 172
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Posts: 55
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The worst feeling would be when you suddenly stop feeling tension while being lowered and plummet 25 feet to the ground and have your belayer say, "The dry rope burned my hands!".
And my belayer was even a guy. (I might get sh!t for that)
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wordisborn
Jun 10, 2003, 9:27 PM
Post #47 of 172
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Registered: Apr 30, 2003
Posts: 60
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A hiker walks up as you are about to start a climb.
"Hey, are you guys going to Extream climb?"
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mbond
Jun 10, 2003, 9:56 PM
Post #48 of 172
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Posts: 48
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While leading: "Hey, are you in a comfortable spot?"
While belaying the second: "Dude, I don't think I can get your gear out."
After seconding: "Umm, actually, you may not want to weight the anchor."
After belaying your partner up at a bloody ass uncomfortable stance with sketch anchors, when he passes the belay and leads up another 10 feet: "You do know there's a huge ledge with bomber anchors right here?"
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climbjs
Jun 10, 2003, 10:05 PM
Post #49 of 172
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Registered: Mar 1, 2002
Posts: 379
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"Oh, hey, did you want me to put you on belay?"
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phaedrus
Jun 11, 2003, 1:22 AM
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Registered: Sep 24, 2002
Posts: 3046
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That happy little rattling sound a prairie rattlesnake makes when you suddenly realize you are 3' from it while leaving a nifty little bouldering spot. :shock:
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snowrocker
Jun 11, 2003, 1:24 AM
Post #51 of 172
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Posts: 113
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Setting up a top rope after leading: How do you tie a figure eight again?
(True story)
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bvb
Jun 11, 2003, 1:47 AM
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hey, is that lox coming over here?
heh.
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crazykid
Jun 11, 2003, 1:55 AM
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Posts: 36
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rumbling of the rocks falling above you
"oops! that doesn't look good"
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edgelax
Jun 11, 2003, 2:02 AM
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Country music! :shock:
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kman
Jun 11, 2003, 2:20 AM
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Posts: 2561
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In reply to: After setting an anchor on the second belay of "Shockley's Ceiling" in the Gunks, a most stupendous classic. The second pitch is only 5.5, the crux only a 5.6. Belayer: Um, can you rappel from there? Moi: What!?! Belayer: Yeah, I don't feel like climbing. Moi: Sorry, dude, no can do. C'mon up. It's a beautiful day for climbing.
Lol. Maybe they didn't trust your anchor :shock: J/k
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tyify
Jun 11, 2003, 3:46 AM
Post #56 of 172
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Registered: Apr 22, 2003
Posts: 905
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While at the crux lead climbing at the local gym..."And I do what again if you fall?" (True Story)
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ptone
Jun 11, 2003, 4:02 AM
Post #57 of 172
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Posts: 350
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Worst I've actually heard, (drifting up from below, while run out and heart thumping...)
'Dude are you comfy for a sec?'
From a belayer I hadn't climbed with much.
All I could think of was 'Don't call me Dude!'
I like mbonds--
In reply to: After belaying your partner up at a bloody ass uncomfortable stance with sketch anchors, when he passes the belay and leads up another 10 feet: "You do know there's a huge ledge with bomber anchors right here?"
My kind of luck too :)
-p
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coldclimb
Jun 11, 2003, 4:13 AM
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Posts: 6909
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I was at the gym once and overheard a conversation between one of the guys who worked there and a kid with a birthday group.
Kid: (Obviously doing OK on the 5.8 ) Take!
Ted: Why?
Kid: Because!
Ted: No.
and the kid finished the climb. Pretty funny to watch, but it would sure suck to hear from your partner. :D
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jefffski
Jun 11, 2003, 7:54 AM
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belayer: can you hurry up?
leader: why?
b: umm, there's a rattler and he's coming towards me.
l: :shock:
true story!
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freezerfrost
Jun 11, 2003, 3:29 PM
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"Will you marry me?"
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bishop
Jun 11, 2003, 5:24 PM
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The weather person calling for days of RAIN and MORE RAIN just before a trip you've been waiting all month for.
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thejm
Jun 11, 2003, 6:14 PM
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Climber: Falling!
Belayer: Ok, I got you (belayer with both hands facing up and wide open and the ATC with the rope hanging of the harness)
True Story
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crazykid
Jun 12, 2003, 1:52 AM
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Anything followed by "...or die trying."
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gthornberg
Jun 12, 2003, 2:26 AM
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Registered: May 7, 2003
Posts: 106
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Mine's not nearly as funny, but it's true.
Second to last pitch on the "Yellow Spur" in Eldorado Canyon, I'm seconding when my belayer says, "Can you hold on for a second? Our anchor just popped out."
When I got up to him, the only thing holding us was a loose piton and a small metolius cam (with only two of the four camming heads in the crack). They popped out while I was climbing up to him.
GT
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climberpunk
Jun 12, 2003, 3:08 AM
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Posts: 171
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naw man, im not letting you down till you get this!
or....
SH1T thats the haul line!
or...
when u get to the top of a climb: "off belay" "allright, you're on"
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lpclimber
Jun 13, 2003, 3:43 PM
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In reply to: "Will you marry me?"
Why is that the worst if I get married thats how i plan to propose.
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musicheck
Jun 13, 2003, 4:03 PM
Post #67 of 172
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Posts: 34
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First "Off Belay"
Five Seconds later "TAKE!"
True Story (climber survived, belayer quickly grabbed rope and a freind helped rethread ATC) :roll:
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sharpender
Jun 13, 2003, 5:54 PM
Post #68 of 172
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James, your on Belay" From the climber on the route next to my leader. My leader instantly yelled "your not". She was at the stance and I didn't even know if she had set her anchors yet. (true story).
Even worse was the partner who said " set a runner on that horn under your feet" We were 500 feet up on East Buttress of Middle Catherdal, The horn was 3" high and about 20" across. I placed a " 10 wired stopper in the crack and rappelled off that. Cheap as I am I'm worth at least $5 or $6 bucks.
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sean34
Jun 13, 2003, 6:22 PM
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the cracklin' and snappin' sound of static electricty a 1000 feet above the treeline...as happened to me this past weekend :shock:
not to mention the feeling of being completely covered with static electricity and scared to death, it wasn't a fun experience.
later,
Sean
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photon
Jun 13, 2003, 8:16 PM
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there's a rc.com gathering at the crag today
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bishop
Jun 13, 2003, 8:36 PM
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"That crag is now closed to climbing"
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freezerfrost
Jun 13, 2003, 9:28 PM
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"I'm pregnant."
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dontfall
Jun 13, 2003, 11:16 PM
Post #73 of 172
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I have something else but it's not hearing something.
It's seeing big pieces of fabric from your rope slowly floating to the ground. (true story)
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thedesertnomad
Jun 13, 2003, 11:55 PM
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Posts: 216
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Immediately after completing my first multi pitch trad lead (5.7), pulling rope drag through the bushes at the top I hear, "hey, (munch munch munch) did you just climb that ?" from the extremely overweight couple eating STILL HOT McDonalds burgers at the top of MY climb (evidently they took the upper trail at the Gunks with their fast food picnic and heard me climbing) Had I not cared about hitting my partner with their bloated bodies, I would have tossed them over the edge.
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foograbbinstone
Jun 14, 2003, 12:21 AM
Post #75 of 172
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Registered: Apr 18, 2002
Posts: 225
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Iiiiicccee!!!!!! :shock:
foo
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pinkamy
Jun 15, 2003, 12:22 AM
Post #76 of 172
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Registered: Jun 10, 2003
Posts: 78
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Climber: (Me trying to clip while holding on to a very tiny chip with my last clip about ten feet below me and like twenty five feet of rope out)
Belayer: Hey... uhhh... make sure you get that clip okay... come on you gotta get it! (Cringing and bitting nails)
Climber: (clip) got it, Take!
Belayer: (lets climber down) if you would have not gotten that clip, you would have been like... here (points to a spot about two feet above the ground)
This was my first lead. Ahhhh!
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climber49er
Jun 15, 2003, 12:51 AM
Post #77 of 172
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Registered: Mar 8, 2003
Posts: 1404
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Hmmm, if that didn't factor rope stretch he should have been pointing about 6 feet underground. :D
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tradmanclimbs
Jun 15, 2003, 2:30 AM
Post #78 of 172
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Registered: Apr 24, 2003
Posts: 2599
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All True stories:
while soloing under another soloist. I am at the crux and he yells FALLING!!!!
About to gain the belay at the top of pitch 5 of MOBY GRAPE, I reach up to grab a flake and pull myself up to the ledge and my girlfriend/ belayer says "don't pull on that, it's my belay :shock: " I belive she was refering to the fact that cannon is a chosspile :lol:
Just prepareing to lead the 3rd pitch of Moby Grape and the woman says "we need to talk"
Can't we just be friends? :roll:
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ptone
Jun 15, 2003, 5:29 AM
Post #79 of 172
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Registered: Mar 5, 2003
Posts: 350
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Here's a true one--
The sound of little feet thumping under me just as I peel from a high boulder problem :shock:
(Yeah, I flattened her :roll:)
No injuries, just high blood pressure!
-p
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micahmcguire
Jun 15, 2003, 6:05 AM
Post #80 of 172
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Registered: Apr 18, 2002
Posts: 889
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"hey dude, get solid real quick"
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drkodos
Jun 15, 2003, 6:10 AM
Post #81 of 172
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Registered: Dec 21, 2002
Posts: 2935
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Overheard at the Gunks three weeks ago:
Climber (35 feet up, on lead, at the crux): "watch me here, I might pop."
Belayer: "Um, hold on. Let me get you on belay."
:?
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wandt
Jun 15, 2003, 10:03 AM
Post #82 of 172
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Registered: Jun 3, 2000
Posts: 341
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Haven't heard it, but I've said it, way above my last clip, staring at a sharp arete and jutting ledge of doom: "How are you at running backwards?" (he jumped into a ravine and saved the day.)
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lpclimber
Jun 16, 2003, 12:31 AM
Post #83 of 172
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Registered: May 28, 2003
Posts: 45
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Climber: "Back Clipping!"
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weedy
Jun 16, 2003, 12:59 AM
Post #84 of 172
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Registered: Jun 16, 2003
Posts: 33
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dude, it's cashed.
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halcyon
Jun 27, 2003, 9:16 AM
Post #85 of 172
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Registered: Jun 26, 2003
Posts: 227
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"This could turn epic real quick"
or possibley
"I don't think I like you as much as I used to"
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sanctuary
Jun 27, 2003, 12:59 PM
Post #86 of 172
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Registered: Apr 19, 2002
Posts: 2
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"OFF SPOTTING"
When a high ball problem got to high for my spotter. :twisted:
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c_kryll
Jun 27, 2003, 2:41 PM
Post #87 of 172
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Registered: Nov 18, 2002
Posts: 146
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"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH..............................................." Heard coming from the top to the bottom at Seneca.
I didn't personally hear it but a close friend did and told me the story.
Chris
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pehperboy
Jun 27, 2003, 3:01 PM
Post #88 of 172
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Registered: Jun 21, 2003
Posts: 871
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"Just a minute!"
Was on one of my early outdoor climbs, maybe a 5.6 but exposed just below the summit, and in what felt like a precarious spot (in hiking boots) when my belayer yells this out. It was not what I wanted to hear just then. The blue streak I let go got down the mountain and back to the car long before we did.
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alpinerock
Jun 27, 2003, 4:14 PM
Post #89 of 172
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Registered: May 17, 2003
Posts: 600
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when buildering "hey you get down from there"
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sillymnkee
Jun 27, 2003, 5:31 PM
Post #90 of 172
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Registered: Feb 12, 2002
Posts: 115
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"Hey, let's throw rocks over the edge and see how long it takes us to hear them to hit the ground."
Or...
"Look at that colorful ribbon (webbing being used as a TR anchor)."
"Cool. Let's take it."
Both heard as I was climbing.
And my favorite, "How dare you talk to my son like that!" After I told some brat how I felt about him kicking a shower of rocks over the edge while I was climbing.
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robmcc
Jun 27, 2003, 5:47 PM
Post #91 of 172
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Registered: Apr 1, 2003
Posts: 2176
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In reply to: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH..............................................." Heard coming from the top to the bottom at Seneca. I didn't personally hear it but a close friend did and told me the story. Chris
Been there, heard that. :(
High pitched, unmistakably female scream. Somehow that's more upsetting than a male one I think. That whole protection thing wired into the genes, I suppose. The worst part wasn't the scream, it was how it stopped. Think how usually when you hear a scream it trails off. Loud to quiet to stopped. This one just stopped dead mid scream. Sobering. No, chilling. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA(SILENCE)" Too far away to hear the impact. Good ending, all things considered. From what I was told, she survived with broken bones and such, none of which included spine, skull, etc. Could have easily turned out much worse.
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scottharms
Jun 27, 2003, 5:48 PM
Post #92 of 172
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Registered: Dec 11, 2002
Posts: 84
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being on a detached column of melting ice about 180 ft up and 25 ft above last screw and hearing it fracture on a placement with another 25ft to lip out. Scary.
Cheers
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jumpingrock
Jun 27, 2003, 5:59 PM
Post #93 of 172
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Registered: Dec 16, 2002
Posts: 5692
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"Tell my wife I love her"
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snowrocker
Jun 27, 2003, 9:43 PM
Post #94 of 172
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Registered: May 28, 2003
Posts: 113
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Belayer: Um..... if you die can I have all of your gear.
Climber: Why?
Belayer: Well this dosen't look too good
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lpclimber
Jun 27, 2003, 11:43 PM
Post #95 of 172
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Registered: May 28, 2003
Posts: 45
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Belayer: Dudel, if u die climbing can i have all your gear?
Climber: Ya sure.
Belayer: Off belay!
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tnchief
Jun 28, 2003, 12:32 AM
Post #96 of 172
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Registered: May 29, 2003
Posts: 100
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As I am from Tennessee, this may not suprise many of you.
The infamous Redneck death mantra heard from around an arete above me:
"Dude, watch this!"
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rockclimber_gurl
Jun 28, 2003, 12:39 AM
Post #97 of 172
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Registered: Jun 24, 2003
Posts: 3
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ummmmmm i can't hear you but your off belay
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thedesertnomad
Jun 28, 2003, 2:03 AM
Post #98 of 172
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Registered: May 23, 2003
Posts: 216
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True Story:
Dude, I can see your van from here.... hey I think someone is breaking into it!!!!
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fieldmouse
Jun 28, 2003, 3:24 AM
Post #99 of 172
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Registered: Jul 25, 2002
Posts: 404
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hey look, curt and bvb are on their way over here...
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rendog
Jun 28, 2003, 6:01 AM
Post #100 of 172
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Registered: Jun 30, 2002
Posts: 2468
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"DUDE I JUST DROPPED THE WEED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
or even worse...
we are out of beer
shudder
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simian
Jun 28, 2003, 10:36 AM
Post #101 of 172
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Registered: Jun 19, 2003
Posts: 2
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"By the way, I know about you and my sister."
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rendog
Jun 28, 2003, 4:29 PM
Post #102 of 172
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Registered: Jun 30, 2002
Posts: 2468
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scottharms........... In reply to: being on a detached column of melting ice about 180 ft up and 25 ft above last screw and hearing it fracture on a placement with another 25ft to lip out. Scary
been there and yes that is one of the scraiest things. the other though is not hearing anything and the column just collapses....happened to me and a buddy of mine in johnston canyon. luckily on TR. Jer was 110'up and swinging like a pinata
hmmmmmmmm now where did I put that stick??????
"D"
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disgruntledseacucumber
Jun 28, 2003, 8:38 PM
Post #103 of 172
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Registered: Jun 16, 2003
Posts: 10
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Climber: Falling!
....then scccchhhhhhh as the climber free falls down a slab climb for about 10 feet before he catches himself.
Later....
Belayer:ohhhhh, I thought you said rappelling
:shock: True story.....both newbies
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minnesotatrad
Jun 30, 2003, 7:20 PM
Post #104 of 172
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Registered: Aug 25, 2002
Posts: 81
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the worst thing is
Um... You go first
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bumpkin
Jun 30, 2003, 8:05 PM
Post #105 of 172
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Registered: Apr 28, 2003
Posts: 151
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"what do I do with this end of the rope?"
or
nervous giggles....
or
outright guffaws...
or
(holding a totally frayed and 80% cut through rope after retrieving the 14th of 15 all-through-the-night rappels)
"umm, this is interesting"
"oh... hmm... was that the knot end or the loose end"
"I guess we'll never know"
or
"what do I do here? That guy just climbed over my blue rope and under the yellow rope... I can't go any farther... what do I do?" (this at the Gunks, of course, me belaying my basically non-climbing gf.... needless to say I was pretty pissed at the choads who led through our ropes instead of waiting).
all true, all true....
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alpinerock
Oct 21, 2003, 2:45 AM
Post #106 of 172
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Registered: May 17, 2003
Posts: 600
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since this just came up again, bump
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bouldering-bumm
Deleted
May 11, 2004, 2:58 AM
Post #107 of 172
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The sound of the anchor falling. :shock: :shock:
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tyify
May 11, 2004, 4:17 AM
Post #108 of 172
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Registered: Apr 22, 2003
Posts: 905
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TAAAAAKKEEE...THUD...Dude you okay? Wow thats a lot of blood...
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p_grandbois
May 11, 2004, 4:23 AM
Post #109 of 172
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Registered: Feb 28, 2004
Posts: 328
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"umm, I never thought it was this high,,,,I don't think I want to be up here"
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climbingurlie
May 11, 2004, 4:34 AM
Post #110 of 172
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Registered: Dec 11, 2003
Posts: 202
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Regular climbing partner: "OH MY GOD!!! YOU'RE TRYING TO BELAY HER WITH YOUR LEFT HAND!!! Hold on! Get on two REALLY good holds, hang on good, and don't fall!" *snap of beaner, rope moves, second snap of beaner* "Ok, you can climb again"
True Story
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escale
May 11, 2004, 6:01 AM
Post #111 of 172
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Registered: Sep 10, 2003
Posts: 129
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Me coming to the end of my first trad pitch as a second: "Man that was a hard climb, this trad stuff is serious. It takes a lot to pull pro." Where is the belay station I clip into?"
"Right here".
WHAT, THIS ONE NUT? You were belaying me on one nut in the crack?
"Yeah, it mostly bomber"
"You belayed me 160 feet on one nut; I was pulling all the pro and all you have here to protect us is one nut? There's a ton of sh1t on your harness, whats up with that?"
"Here, (puts in a quick cam next to the nut and clips it into the rope) now we have two peices." Stop being so picky."
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escale
May 11, 2004, 6:05 AM
Post #112 of 172
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Registered: Sep 10, 2003
Posts: 129
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"Hey, we are going to laugh about this later, because it is kind of funny. Seriously though; I left my climbing shoes in my other pack back home."
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myhandshurt
May 11, 2004, 6:15 AM
Post #113 of 172
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Registered: Apr 26, 2004
Posts: 34
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Setting up for a rap...
[ping]
.
[ping]
.
[ping][ping][ping][ping][ping][ping][ping]
"Uhh, was that your belay device?"
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escale
May 11, 2004, 6:19 AM
Post #114 of 172
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Registered: Sep 10, 2003
Posts: 129
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"Hey, the headlamp batteries are nearly dead and I think this hand drawn map is messed. The waypoints on the GPS, indicates we walked in a circle and crossed our own path 3 times." I think we will just have to use our ropes and packs for a blanket."
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epic_ed
May 11, 2004, 6:27 AM
Post #115 of 172
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Registered: Jun 17, 2002
Posts: 4724
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My God, how did you dig this one up? Talk about resurrecting a thread. :lol:
This one is one of the classics.
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karmaklimber
May 11, 2004, 6:29 AM
Post #116 of 172
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Registered: Jul 16, 2003
Posts: 363
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"Don't worry, it's not contagious."
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hawaii_climbing_guy
May 11, 2004, 6:34 AM
Post #117 of 172
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Registered: Oct 14, 2003
Posts: 87
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In reply to: The weather person calling for days of RAIN and MORE RAIN just before a trip you've been waiting all month for.
I have here with me today Meteorologist James Goddard with the hourly weather update. What have you got for us, James?
Unfortunately, nothing you're going to want to hear. A cold front is moving through bringing with it a strong possibility of thunderstorms for days on end. It looks like there won't be any sunshine for quite some time, but I do have some good news.
What's that?
I just saved a load of money on car insurance by switching to some company that runs annoying radio ads!
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escale
May 11, 2004, 6:48 AM
Post #118 of 172
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Registered: Sep 10, 2003
Posts: 129
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I know this isn't climbing, but it did happen:
On a cross country ski trip in late spring looking for a hidden frozen waterfall:
"Hey check out those Elk prints in the snow."
"Cool! And what made those tracks?"
"Oh, that, large mountain lion, probably tracking the Elk, looking to thin the herd."
"Wow really cool."
An hour later, on our way back near the end of the day:
"We better step it up to get back to camp"
"Why?"
"Look right there. Those are fresh mountain lion tracks on our ski tracks that weren't there earlier. If it's a female and she has cubs nearby she could get defensive."
---Escale
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zap
May 11, 2004, 6:51 AM
Post #119 of 172
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Registered: May 29, 2003
Posts: 134
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climber to belayer, "stay with me now, this move is really gonna blow your mind".
true!
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escale
May 11, 2004, 7:15 AM
Post #120 of 172
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Registered: Sep 10, 2003
Posts: 129
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After waking up about midnight to heavy thumping on the ground outside of the tent and the trash cans getting tipped over.
"What the hell is that?"
"Bears looking for food. Don't worry, I put all the food in a sack and tied it up so they can't get to it. There's no food in the car, right?"
"All we had was that large bag of peanut M&M's we were munching in the front seat?"
"Holy S__t!" "Glad you didn't decide to bring the M&M's into the tent."
---Escale
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lambchop
May 11, 2004, 9:56 AM
Post #121 of 172
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Registered: Mar 10, 2004
Posts: 23
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Watch out for the snake hiding in that ledge, he was still there when I climbed earlier. [true]
&
How old is your rope? Looks a bit frayed here in the middle...
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flashsixteen
May 11, 2004, 12:54 PM
Post #122 of 172
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Registered: Feb 6, 2002
Posts: 159
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"Oh man, how did that happen. Hold on Brian, my gate is locked open!" as I am just about to set a piece.
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pawilkes
May 11, 2004, 1:04 PM
Post #123 of 172
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Registered: Jul 10, 2003
Posts: 275
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worst things that i've caused someone else to hear:
"FFFAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLINNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGG"
THUD
ERRRRR..................
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wyattwyattwyatt
May 11, 2004, 1:17 PM
Post #124 of 172
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Registered: Apr 22, 2004
Posts: 73
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while preparing to belay for the guy whose skills i had entrusted to set up the anchor we were about to toprope from:
"ummm...do u remember how to do that figure 8 knot?"
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dingus
May 11, 2004, 2:10 PM
Post #125 of 172
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Registered: Dec 16, 2002
Posts: 17398
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Brutus of Wyde: "Let's go CLIMBING!"
DMT
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sarcat
May 11, 2004, 2:14 PM
Post #126 of 172
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Registered: Jan 22, 2004
Posts: 1560
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"OK, now what do I do..."
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escale
May 11, 2004, 6:18 PM
Post #127 of 172
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Registered: Sep 10, 2003
Posts: 129
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[true]
The sound of heavy thunder rumbling in a distance lasting 2 minutes. Except that we had a totally clear sky with no wind nor clouds. From around the south about 500 yards this huge white-gray dust cloud was drifing out of the canyon.
Mother nature decided to do some mega ton resculpturing of the cliff face. We stopped and listened for potential cries for help, and heard none. The following quiet was so nerve shattering for us we bailed the 3 pitchs to reflect and later decided to hike over. Nothing to be seen except the dust, modified cliff face, the sudden forest clearing and more choss below.
No missing local climbers reported that week, so it was a good thing this occured on an off Monday noon.
---Escale
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padge
May 11, 2004, 6:47 PM
Post #128 of 172
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Registered: Feb 18, 2004
Posts: 189
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As my climbing partner climbs past me at an akward belay, just when his ass is at face level,
BBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAPPPPPP!!
Needless to say the favor was returned in spades (power locking windows)
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boss
May 11, 2004, 6:58 PM
Post #129 of 172
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Registered: Sep 29, 2002
Posts: 235
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The sound of the last nut you placed popping out 15' below you. Then the sound of that same nut hitting your next sketchy pro another 15' below. By then the ohhh $hit feeling has really sunk in!
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the_crawler
May 11, 2004, 7:20 PM
Post #130 of 172
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Registered: Aug 2, 2003
Posts: 90
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Your belayer clapping?
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jammer
May 11, 2004, 7:26 PM
Post #131 of 172
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Registered: Jun 25, 2002
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Hey, Dude ... would you hold this rope for me? I gatta take a leak!
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outdoorclimber
May 11, 2004, 7:29 PM
Post #132 of 172
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Registered: Nov 4, 2003
Posts: 22
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When you're belayer yells "FALLING!!!"
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bigwalling
May 11, 2004, 7:35 PM
Post #133 of 172
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Registered: Dec 29, 2001
Posts: 728
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Wanna give me head?
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mrmons
May 11, 2004, 7:42 PM
Post #134 of 172
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Registered: Sep 19, 2003
Posts: 115
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"You can't go climbing this Saturday, we have a 1 year old's birthday party to go to." Grrr... :x
Mr. Mons :twisted:
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climbersoze
May 11, 2004, 7:59 PM
Post #135 of 172
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Registered: Dec 31, 2003
Posts: 1142
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While in a dark room = "click"
OR
Belayer = "So, I heard you went on a date with my sister"
4 real -
"SH*T!" <- that is the sound you hear when it is too late...
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katydid
May 11, 2004, 8:09 PM
Post #136 of 172
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Registered: Aug 13, 2002
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As the climber nears the third bolt:
"I hate to tell you this, but there are a bunch of ground hornets building a nest at the bottom of this route."
Unfortunately, I was the belayer saying it.
k.
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bouldering-bumm
Deleted
May 11, 2004, 9:22 PM
Post #137 of 172
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crumbling rock on your close to send project.
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tradaddict
May 11, 2004, 10:48 PM
Post #138 of 172
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Registered: Oct 9, 2002
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belaying another female climber on a multipitch:
"Deirdre, i've really gotta go"
"How badly?"
".... sorry"
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climbingnurse
May 11, 2004, 11:34 PM
Post #139 of 172
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Registered: Oct 30, 2003
Posts: 420
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"Dude, I'm from Boulder. You need beta?"
No kidding, the "dude" in my tour at Heuco actually said that.
Man, I wish I was from Boulder, then I'd have all the beta.
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wallwombat
May 12, 2004, 12:20 AM
Post #140 of 172
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Registered: Jun 17, 2003
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After sketching through some slippery crux you belayer says '' It's O.K, your back on belay now''.
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the_antoon
May 12, 2004, 12:30 AM
Post #141 of 172
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Registered: Dec 21, 2003
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In reply to: Belayer: Dudel, if u die climbing can i have all your gear? Climber: Ya sure. Belayer: Off belay!
haha...beat me to it
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kachoong
May 12, 2004, 12:42 AM
Post #142 of 172
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Registered: Jan 23, 2004
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"Whoah! Pheww, that was a bit sketchy! You 'right after that? Now just a bit further and you're at the crux!"
"urrr....ummm....you might need these draws dude!"
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freeclimberchris
May 12, 2004, 12:48 AM
Post #143 of 172
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Registered: Sep 21, 2003
Posts: 90
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Worst thing to hear while climbing. haha. "What shall I tell your mother," "Chris have you been in touch with God lately," and "Whats a belay device." I have heard all of those. A joke of course. :D
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chezman
May 12, 2004, 1:03 AM
Post #144 of 172
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Registered: Feb 13, 2004
Posts: 14
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"wait you tie in with this thing right?" one of my non climbing friends, halfway up the wall refering to her belay device. i had to climb up there and tie her in so she could finish the climb. *shakes head* stupid non-climbers
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jtclimber87
May 12, 2004, 1:23 AM
Post #145 of 172
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Registered: Apr 20, 2004
Posts: 34
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after a long approach
"Did you bring enough water for the both of us?"
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elstifster
May 12, 2004, 3:06 AM
Post #146 of 172
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Registered: Mar 15, 2004
Posts: 21
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Two bolts up, "I threaded the GriGri wrong, hang on a sec." True story.
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kingjawsh
May 12, 2004, 3:32 AM
Post #147 of 172
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Registered: May 5, 2004
Posts: 90
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Climber - Ok i'm at the top
Belayer - Thats good.. .chill up there for a bit i'm gonna go spoon with Melissa on the crash pad...
Climber - WTF!?... get me down from here
Belayer - Just gimme 30 minutes
(true story)
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mchaff2
May 12, 2004, 4:15 AM
Post #148 of 172
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Registered: Feb 19, 2003
Posts: 36
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dude, i don't want to go do a long yosemite classic, i am worried about my girlfriend, i would rather hang with her......
grrrrrrrrrr......
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mazzystr
May 12, 2004, 7:42 PM
Post #149 of 172
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Registered: Jan 8, 2003
Posts: 450
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climber: take!
belayer: i caaaant!
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litleclimberchick
May 12, 2004, 9:16 PM
Post #150 of 172
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Posts: 1254
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In reply to: In reply to: "Will you marry me?" Why is that the worst if I get married thats how i plan to propose.
its only bad if you don't really want to marry the person and have to tell them no, otherwise its pretty cool. that's how i want it done.
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nzclimber
May 12, 2004, 11:03 PM
Post #151 of 172
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Registered: Jan 1, 2003
Posts: 10
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The sound of your belayer clapping.
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fenix83
Moderator
May 13, 2004, 12:06 AM
Post #152 of 172
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Registered: Feb 23, 2004
Posts: 2397
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As you start the crux on an overhang your belayer's celphone rings you feel a slight tug on the rope and then hear him say "Hi honey" quickly followed by "No, no, no, why are you so angry?!" ... I've got the sinking feeling he's not paying too much atention :shock:
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dahoobit
May 13, 2004, 4:19 AM
Post #153 of 172
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Registered: Mar 13, 2004
Posts: 17
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hang on I gatta go take a leak, do not worry this bush looks stable enough to hold you.
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alpinerock
May 13, 2004, 5:24 AM
Post #154 of 172
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Posts: 600
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In reply to: In reply to: In reply to: "Will you marry me?" Why is that the worst if I get married thats how i plan to propose. its only bad if you don't really want to marry the person and have to tell them no, otherwise its pretty cool. that's how i want it done.
lol i plan to propose while belaying her half way up astroman or some el cap route, and if she says no.... :twisted:
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arcteryxjunkie
May 13, 2004, 5:34 AM
Post #155 of 172
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Registered: Dec 1, 2003
Posts: 8
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ppppfffffffffttttttttt!!!!!!!
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cacti-tro
Deleted
May 13, 2004, 5:55 AM
Post #156 of 172
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i actually heard a person tell her partner after being dropped about 15 feet and walking away from it..."It's ok, i'm sure i'll drop you someday..."
Crazy people! if my partner ever said that....
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climbingaggie03
May 13, 2004, 5:55 AM
Post #157 of 172
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Registered: Mar 18, 2004
Posts: 1173
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The whir of chopper blades when it comes to rescue you
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jipstyle
May 13, 2004, 6:59 AM
Post #158 of 172
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Registered: May 27, 2003
Posts: 482
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In reply to: "wait you tie in with this thing right?" one of my non climbing friends, halfway up the wall refering to her belay device. i had to climb up there and tie her in so she could finish the climb. *shakes head* stupid non-climbers
Yeah? How'd ya do that, exactly? Sounds like quite the feat.
Prehensile tail?
And why was SHE wearing the belay device? Was she doing some novice solo lead climbing?
Silly noobs, huh?
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myhandshurt
May 13, 2004, 7:28 AM
Post #159 of 172
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Registered: Apr 26, 2004
Posts: 34
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In reply to: While in a dark room = "click" OR Belayer = "So, I heard you went on a date with my sister" 4 real - "SH*T!" <- that is the sound you hear when it is too late...
Oh my god that is the funniest thing I've read so far!! :lol:
"Slack!"
"Uhhh the rope just left my belay device"
"..."
"uhh want me to try to climb up and get it?"
"..."
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vertical_reality
May 13, 2004, 12:58 PM
Post #160 of 172
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Registered: Jun 19, 2002
Posts: 2073
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"Of course I know what I'm doing, I read it on rockclimbing.com."
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dontfall
May 13, 2004, 1:29 PM
Post #161 of 172
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Registered: Mar 31, 2003
Posts: 2798
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[true]
Yo, spot me dude. Hold on, I'm getting the pad out.
As I'm 15 feet up on a boulder problem.
You got a pad, nah, this ground looks soft enough.
From mom to me....
Chris, your gonna have another brother pretty soon. :roll:
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jetlag
May 13, 2004, 1:31 PM
Post #162 of 172
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Registered: Apr 25, 2004
Posts: 9
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A few days ago at climbing school (in a foreign country where my language skills are poor but I usually use the same belayer)
me: Tension! (it's a catch all -resting/tension/take)
new belay:... (he though he was giving me tension without actually holding on to the rope)
me, slipping down: Hey! tension!!!
teacher: no! climb.
me: a lot of cursing, as I continue to slide down.
prior to climbing the belay had me threaded, but not actually clipped to anything. teacher said not to worry, then walked away.
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mackavus
May 13, 2004, 1:36 PM
Post #163 of 172
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Registered: Aug 14, 2002
Posts: 322
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Climber has reached belay and has just finished building the anchor. But has not done anything else but tied into it. They cant see each other and hearing each other is another story all together.
Climber: Off Belay!
Belayer: OK.
25 seconds....
Belayer: On Belay?
Climber: NO, Belay OFF!
Belayer: Climbing!
Climber: NICK! Stop climbing!
Rope goes seriously limp... Climber proceeds to hip belay.
Climber: NICK!?
Belayer: Climbing!
Climber: NO! DO... NOT... CLIMB!
Belayer: Ok. OFF BELAY! (without climber lowering)
Climber: HUH!?
Belayer: Ok, IM OFF!
Phew!
Peace.
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frolic
May 13, 2004, 4:50 PM
Post #164 of 172
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Registered: Jan 7, 2004
Posts: 31
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In reply to: "Of course I know what I'm doing, I read it on rockclimbing.com."
and here's one more for the overconfident belayer category:
climber, halfway up the pitch: "dude, are you rolling a joint?"
belayer: "quit worrying. i've got a grigri. an asteroid could fall on my head and you'd be fine." :roll:
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olvegrn
May 13, 2004, 5:06 PM
Post #165 of 172
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Registered: Jan 6, 2002
Posts: 60
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I think I've got a turtlehead pokin'
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grabngrip
May 13, 2004, 5:31 PM
Post #166 of 172
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Registered: Oct 28, 2003
Posts: 252
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after fighting with work and desperatly trying to get school work done before the weekend to take my younger sister to castle rock for a day of climbing SHE had requested for her birthday, 7am, the morning of the trip:
me: "get up its time to get ready to go"
sister: "I dont wanna go anymore"
me: "WHAT!" :shock:
Half way to castle rock, from tracy, girlfriend turns to me and says:
"I forgot my harness"
me: "WHAT!!!!" :evil:
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gritstoner
May 13, 2004, 5:59 PM
Post #167 of 172
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Registered: Sep 1, 2003
Posts: 529
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jesus but this is looser than a barnsley lass.
or the other classic that i overheard
2nd: lad we're in trouble
1st :eh?
2nd: do you want the long oor the short version?
1st: long
2nd: good luck
i was always curious as to what the short one would have been
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litleclimberchick
May 13, 2004, 8:52 PM
Post #168 of 172
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Registered: Apr 13, 2003
Posts: 1254
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In reply to: In reply to: In reply to: In reply to: "Will you marry me?" Why is that the worst if I get married thats how i plan to propose. its only bad if you don't really want to marry the person and have to tell them no, otherwise its pretty cool. that's how i want it done. lol i plan to propose while belaying her half way up astroman or some el cap route, and if she says no.... :twisted:
that is horrible
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the_antoon
May 13, 2004, 11:42 PM
Post #169 of 172
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Registered: Dec 21, 2003
Posts: 428
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In reply to: The whir of chopper blades when it comes to rescue you
no no...those sound really damn nice...
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james_climber
May 14, 2004, 12:38 AM
Post #170 of 172
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Registered: Feb 11, 2004
Posts: 304
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In reply to: In reply to: Belayer: Dudel, if u die climbing can i have all your gear? Climber: Ya sure. Belayer: Off belay! haha...beat me to it
hehe some times my friends say that
ANOTHER HISTORY
BELAYER :Ey james be careful , there are a hornets nest ,
JAMES :Where is it :shock: ?
BELAYER : YOU JUST KICKED IT
JAMES : AYYA AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU AUUUUUUU THEY'RE ATTACKING ME :cry:
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tradbum
May 14, 2004, 2:02 AM
Post #171 of 172
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Registered: May 9, 2004
Posts: 128
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"Freeze MotherFcuker!"
Heard when I opened my parents' front door in NYC after a long night bar-hopping in the 80's with my best friend, locking myself out and climbing up the front of their 4-story brownstone to get in an open window in the back.
Who said it? 4 very angry NYC Police Officers with .38 revolvers pointed right at me. (A neighbor had called the police when she saw me going up the front).
"You dick!" - My friend, handcuffed to a tree outside.
Or, a 70-year old naturalist photographer at June Lake's Upper Falls when a huge block(s) came down a few years ago: "Wow, I've never seen anyone in crampons run that fast!" I was on lead at the time and could only duck.
"Rappel, what the fcuk is rappel?" My boss to his boss when we had to bail off of Taquitz @ about 600' on his second multi-pitch climb @ about 5 PM. In October.
Too many others have already been posted and they still get me!
Climb safe!
Smitty
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climbinginchico
May 15, 2004, 3:38 AM
Post #172 of 172
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Registered: Mar 24, 2004
Posts: 3032
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"Your son is in the hostpital, but don't worry, the doctors think he will walk again." :shock:
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