Forums: Climbing Information: General:
Ask the NOOB
RSS FeedRSS Feeds for General

Premier Sponsor:

 
First page Previous page 1 ... 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 ... 40 Next page Last page  View All


subtle


Dec 14, 2005, 1:14 AM
Post #676 of 977 (154337 views)
Shortcut

Registered: Sep 17, 2004
Posts: 438

Re: Ice climbing! [In reply to]
Report this Post
Average: avg_1 avg_2 avg_3 avg_4 avg_5 (0 ratings)  
Can't Post

In reply to:
I notice that you haven't written a peep about ice climbing yet. Why not? It's winter here in Alaska (and maybe a few other places as well) -- there just isn't much else to do. It's like some rock climbers enter their equivalent of the batcave and emerge with tricked-out toolbelts and weather-proof costumes, while the less fortunate find themselves in... the climbing gym.

So, what words of wisdom can you share with a brand new, Batman inspired ice climber wanna-be?

Well, my faux-Canadian friend, it may be winter up there in Talkeetna or...errr...Moose Poot...or whatever population 32 urban Megalopolis you're rocking...but down here in Houston it's like 65 degrees and sunny every day. Consequently, the ice conditions are rather...ummmm, un-bullet...most of the time. If you want to climb waterfall in Texas, brah, you're going to have to man up and hike the proj in a somewhat more liquid form. Let's see your fancy ice screws save you now, Aqua-Man...are you going to sink one in a salmon or something? Seriously, that's not going to work at all. Oooh, that's totally bomber..aaaaannnd, a bear ate my pro. Mountaineering - Freedom of the Hills isn't going to help you with that one, believe me...

Besides, how are you going to gear-whore it up like a true ice climber should? Grivel doesn't make water wings, and there is no Quark Ergo...paddle...although if there were, it would rock. And cost like $945. Not only are you going to have to buy some sort of Arcteryx swim trunks and some flippers with wicked front points, but you can't climb for 60 minutes after you eat lunch...'cause you'll get a cramp and drown.

This isn't the gym, broham, there's no lifeguard.

Allez. Peep! Homard.


mrnomas


Dec 14, 2005, 8:29 PM
Post #677 of 977 (154337 views)
Shortcut

Registered: Sep 29, 2004
Posts: 14

Re: Big Cams [In reply to]
Report this Post
Average: avg_1 avg_2 avg_3 avg_4 avg_5 (0 ratings)  
Can't Post

Oh Great NOOB, your wisdom continues to inspire!

I had a very bad moment last night in the plastic prison I like to call Florida. I was about to make my 37th attempt at my 5.6- test piece Hangdoggin' with the Best of'em when I just couldn't do it. I've run the gamut of excuses and found myself lacking. All I could come up with was, "My nails are too long to climb this one today." My partner looked at me kinda funny 'cause the only hold that was at all crimp-like was really a foot but he let it slide. I'm totally tapped for excuses. I've used all the standards multiple times (too pumped, need to stretch, that 14 year old girl is campusing it right now, etc), plus a couple of my own (I think my appendix just burst, that burrito is repeating on me, I pulled a ligamental on that V0 over there, etc.). I need your help. Any excuses you have to not flail on that route and embarrass myself once again will help. Thank you in advance. You are my god.


subtle


Dec 15, 2005, 12:47 AM
Post #678 of 977 (154337 views)
Shortcut

Registered: Sep 17, 2004
Posts: 438

Re: Big Cams [In reply to]
Report this Post
Average: avg_1 avg_2 avg_3 avg_4 avg_5 (0 ratings)  
Can't Post

In reply to:
I had a very bad moment last night in the plastic prison I like to call Florida. I was about to make my 37th attempt at my 5.6- test piece Hangdoggin' with the Best of'em when I just couldn't do it. I've run the gamut of excuses and found myself lacking. All I could come up with was, "My nails are too long to climb this one today." My partner looked at me kinda funny 'cause the only hold that was at all crimp-like was really a foot but he let it slide. I'm totally tapped for excuses. I've used all the standards multiple times (too pumped, need to stretch, that 14 year old girl is campusing it right now, etc), plus a couple of my own (I think my appendix just burst, that burrito is repeating on me, I pulled a ligamental on that V0 over there, etc.). I need your help. Any excuses you have to not flail on that route and embarrass myself once again will help. Thank you in advance. You are my god.

Climbing is, as you've no doubt realized by this point, is a deeply personal sport. You have to have your favorite shoes that fit just so...you always use your ATC because know by feel exactly how much slack it'll take to savagely short-rope your climber at the crux...and you never, ever climb with someone else's excuses.

I mean, think of it bro...are you going to get on the ill proj with a fresh-out-the-box excuse...or worse, a rental...and hope it works when you need it to? You need to break that stuff in, cuz, or you'll get...blisters or something. Now and then an elite climber might discreetly field-test some factory prototype material...but are you really going to be able to pull off a "that 1/8th pad crimp is totally greasy now that it's in the sun" on your 5.4+ bucket-ladder? I don't think so. But how to decide what's right for you?

As in all things, select your excuses based on your climbing style and the local ethics of your home crag. There's no point in whingeing about the cold at Rumney, abrasive rock at Hueco, or dirty desert hippies in Bishop...they're an organic part of the experience. It's best to focus on things unique to you...invisible things...invisible imaginary things. Who on earth is going to dispute that you totally would have sent the proj if you hadn't gotten jug pumped and strained your B2 rotator pulley.

Sadly, belaying totally aggrivates the condition, too...you'd better not, y'know, just to be safe.

Allez. You're hangdogging me to death! Homard.


justthemaid


Dec 15, 2005, 5:42 PM
Post #679 of 977 (154337 views)
Shortcut

Registered: Sep 11, 2004
Posts: 777

Re: Ask the NOOB [In reply to]
Report this Post
Average: avg_1 avg_2 avg_3 avg_4 avg_5 (0 ratings)  
Can't Post

Dear Noob.

What's the deal with that Rock Warrior's Way Forum?

I could swear that incense actually floated out of my monitor when I logged on. It seems they fritter their time away contemplating koans and meditating on the ultimate send.

If I make a sacrifice to their god Arno will I be able to levitate up 5.14s and walk on rice paper leaving no trace?


subtle


Dec 21, 2005, 12:46 AM
Post #680 of 977 (154337 views)
Shortcut

Registered: Sep 17, 2004
Posts: 438

Re: Ask the NOOB [In reply to]
Report this Post
Average: avg_1 avg_2 avg_3 avg_4 avg_5 (0 ratings)  
Can't Post

In reply to:
What's the deal with that Rock Warrior's Way Forum?

I could swear that incense actually floated out of my monitor when I logged on. It seems they fritter their time away contemplating koans and meditating on the ultimate send.

If I make a sacrifice to their god Arno will I be able to levitate up 5.14s and walk on rice paper leaving no trace?

Until about...oh...six minutes ago, I'd never read any of The Rock Warrior's Way Forum. No particular reason why...it's a big internet y'know, and I was working my way over there eventually...but now that I've read, errr, some of the headlines and like...a post or two...whoa.

That's not a forum, that's a cult.

Now, we here at Ask The NOOB do not judge...if you want to be a complete whack-job freakshow, that's your business as long as you don't borrow my stuff and sell it on eBay to support your ummm...Enlightened Leader, or whatever. The central problem with The Way...as they actually call it...is that there's a kinda weak-sauce payoff at the end of the road. Oooh, ooooh, once I get rid of my EGO and master my FEAR, I can SEND...and maybe stop CAPITALIZING. Send? Send? If I'm wearing an orange sheet, shaving my head, eating free-range tofu and abstaining from sex...ummm, we'll pretend that's by choice...I want a better pot of gold at the end of the rainbow than the top jug on a 5.9+ toprope. I mean, a little hangboard work will help you send...with much less chanting and tambourine rattling.

ALLEZ. Damn, now I'm doing it. Homard.


subtle


Dec 22, 2005, 12:03 AM
Post #681 of 977 (154337 views)
Shortcut

Registered: Sep 17, 2004
Posts: 438

Re: Big Cams [In reply to]
Report this Post
Average: avg_1 avg_2 avg_3 avg_4 avg_5 (0 ratings)  
Can't Post

Ask The NOOB will be off the air for a week or so, as I am travelling back to New England to visit my old sofa...and errr, family...and possibly do some sub-zero bouldering at Lincoln Woods. I'll be the one with the Xmas stocking chalk bag and the radically downturned Elf shoes resoled with stealth rubber. As always, post your questions and I'll ponder them deeply over a Red Bull & egg nog and reply as soon as I can...which will probably be 2006.

Allez. Happy Holidays. Homard.


justafurnaceman


Dec 23, 2005, 1:04 AM
Post #682 of 977 (154337 views)
Shortcut

Registered: Jan 13, 2005
Posts: 286

Re: Big Cams [In reply to]
Report this Post
Average: avg_1 avg_2 avg_3 avg_4 avg_5 (0 ratings)  
Can't Post

Dear nOOb,

Now that it's winter time up here in Maine, which you probably realized when you stepped off the plane to visit your relatives, I have a problem. I have this extreme fear of walking through the snow and, um, this is hard to say, um, falling into a crevase! Whew, I said it. I was walking around the back of a house last week with my co-workers, headed for the bulkhead, through the snow when one of the guys DISAPPEARED! We shouted his name, took a piece of pipe and poked around but we were all afraid of falling into the crevase ourselves. I vowed never to be unprepared again. I went straight home, put my harness on, tied a few butterfly knots in the rope, hooked in, clipped the ice screws to the harness, put on my boots and crampons, grabbed my ice axes and went back out.
I'm always careful out there now. Everytime I get out of my truck I always tie myself off to the truck, then as I move through the snow I poke around with my axes taking small steps, (try doing that and carry a tool box), we even safetied off the boiler that we were dragging through the snow (we wouldn't want that to fall into a crevase and land our former co-worker would we!).
The question that I have for you is am I going too far? I've been getting odd looks from the people at the grocery store when I drag my rope in through the door. And the floor cleaners were mumbling something about my crampons ruining their finish (don't they know that safety is first). I have given a few of our customers a bit of a start when they open their door and see me with the axes when I show up to clean their furnace. I have even started carrying my avalanche shovel too plus a beacon just in case. So what are your thoughts on the subject? Am I crazy to do this? I did see on Nova where someone fell into a crevase, and their partner left them to crawl back to the base camp and I just don't want to be one of those people.

Thank you so much,
Sincerly,
Sitting in front of boiler trying to clean it with the axes. Boy I need a longer rope, I think I'm giving myself a weggie.

P.S. Oh if you want to go out on some ice give us a shout while you're up here and we'll take you out to some "wicked" good ice.


subtle


Jan 1, 2006, 2:45 AM
Post #683 of 977 (154337 views)
Shortcut

Registered: Sep 17, 2004
Posts: 438

Re: Big Cams [In reply to]
Report this Post
Average: avg_1 avg_2 avg_3 avg_4 avg_5 (0 ratings)  
Can't Post

In reply to:
Now that it's winter time up here in Maine, which you probably realized when you stepped off the plane to visit your relatives, I have a problem. I have this extreme fear of walking through the snow and, um, this is hard to say, um, falling into a crevase! Whew, I said it. I was walking around the back of a house last week with my co-workers, headed for the bulkhead, through the snow when one of the guys DISAPPEARED! We shouted his name, took a piece of pipe and poked around but we were all afraid of falling into the crevase ourselves. I vowed never to be unprepared again. I went straight home, put my harness on, tied a few butterfly knots in the rope, hooked in, clipped the ice screws to the harness, put on my boots and crampons, grabbed my ice axes and went back out.
I'm always careful out there now. Everytime I get out of my truck I always tie myself off to the truck, then as I move through the snow I poke around with my axes taking small steps, (try doing that and carry a tool box), we even safetied off the boiler that we were dragging through the snow (we wouldn't want that to fall into a crevase and land our former co-worker would we!).
The question that I have for you is am I going too far? I've been getting odd looks from the people at the grocery store when I drag my rope in through the door. And the floor cleaners were mumbling something about my crampons ruining their finish (don't they know that safety is first). I have given a few of our customers a bit of a start when they open their door and see me with the axes when I show up to clean their furnace. I have even started carrying my avalanche shovel too plus a beacon just in case. So what are your thoughts on the subject? Am I crazy to do this? I did see on Nova where someone fell into a crevase, and their partner left them to crawl back to the base camp and I just don't want to be one of those people.

You can never be too safe, bro...well...until you end up in a hermetically sealed germ-proof room recycling your own bodily fluids and wearing kleenex boxes on your feet...but let's just ahhh...hope...that you're not currently doing that. Or if you are, that you never ever tell me. I think your job site and...errr...grocery store protection is bomber, but you've forgotten one very important thing...most accidents happen in the home.

The only sensible course of action is to adopt pre-Caldwell Yosemite big-wall techniques and string about 3000 feet of fixed line around the house. For extra flair, wear leather pants and pretend you're a Huber brother. Alpine demigod Mark Twight would tell you to cache enough gear and provisions for three to five days in case you get trapped by an unexpected carpet ravine...which in Mark's case would be a power bar, a #6 stopper and a Tool CD. As you prepare to jumar from the living room to the kitchen in your...leather pants...while, errr...listening to 46 & 2...nibbling on a Clif Bar...WAIT! STOP!

Did you remember to check your knot?

Here, for the very first time in print, is my actual pre-climb ritual in all it's gory detail. Despite falling more than any other climber in the history of the sport, I am still alive and mooching off my parents...so it apparently works. To maximize both my anal retentiveness and, ah, wierdness...I kinda pantomime-dance around and say the following:

Leg loop, leg loop (something interrupts me, start over) leg loop, leg loop, leg loop (I realize I only have two legs, start over) leg loop, leg loop, waist belt doubled back, rope through the bottom loop, rope through the top loop, got an eight knot, got a backup knot, shoes good, chalk bag on...all set.

Then, as I turn toward my 5.7+ testpiece, my partner Lee casually asks:

"Did you check your knot?"

Allez. It's amazing I ever get off the ground with kleenex boxes on my feet. Homard.


subtle


Jan 2, 2006, 6:01 AM
Post #684 of 977 (154337 views)
Shortcut

Registered: Sep 17, 2004
Posts: 438

Re: Big Cams [In reply to]
Report this Post
Average: avg_1 avg_2 avg_3 avg_4 avg_5 (0 ratings)  
Can't Post

Ladies and Gentlemen and...ummm...boulderers...I am proud to present the 2005 Ask The NOOB Awards. Drumroll, please.

The Most Huggable Climber Award
Beth Rodden

C’mon, admit it…you’d totally just run over to her and give her a hug if you could…until you remember that she climbs way harder than you could ever hope to…and you’d instantly get all intimidated and feel like a gigantic candy-ass poseur and slink away like the 5.8+ top-roper that I am…errr…you are. Yeah, that’s it. No hug for you.

The Loch Ness Monster Award for Most Mysterious Climber
Thomasina Darlene Pidgeon

Ms. Pidgeon is so mysterious, she actually switched first names a while back. Why? That’s classified. We do know she’s from up North, eh…has sent a bunch of V10s…and makes us feel all warm and squishy inside. She’s like some sort of Squamish Sasquatch with tremendous crimp steezos…showing up from time to time in a grainy photo in a chalk advertisement or something, then disappearing back to the forest.

The No Hablo Ingles Award for Incomprehensible Verbiage
Joe Kinder

Mr. Kinder has pretty much re-defined the state of the art in linguistic dope pimp steezology in 2005…setting back the language by centuries in the process. Colorado might prove a difficult place for him to dodge the inevitable marauding lynch mob of English teachers and grammar aficionados, though…his gangsta-lite posturing must make him stand out in the line at Starbucks like a click-talking bushman from The Gods Must Be Crazy amongst the uber-mellow chilled-out locals. Good luck, Joe.

The Chris Farley Award For Living In a Van Down By The River
Jason Kehl

Now, if Chris Farley knew that it was a van full of broken dolls, hair dye and Rasputina CDs, don’t you think he might have tried just a wee bit harder to convince those kids on SNL? I do…I sure do.

The Chris Sharma Award for Soulful Introspection After Sending Sick Project
Chris Sharma

As the perennial front-runner for the Chris Sharma Award, Chris Sharma must perform under the unfathomable pressure of sending insane boulder problems on a deadline with nine cameras rolling and then not screaming “That’s sooooo V19, biznatches!” while hanging off the finish jug. To defend his title in 2006, Chris will probably have to not only leave his problems un-named and un-graded…but possibly also un-climbed. Get ready to start hearing “Man, did you see the line Sharma didn’t do in Bishop? That shizz was mad ill, yo! I hear it wasn’t filmed and won’t be in Dosage VI”.

The He’s The Man Award for Overall Excellence
Tommy Caldwell

Everybody’s all-universe pick climbs 5.15, boulders V-Hard and runs laps on El Cap. Rumors are that his recent link up of The Nose and Freerider was merely a training exercise for the much more awesome challenge of reading The Mass Climbers Thread start to finish in a day. Rumor also has it the Huber brothers were savagely repulsed at page 983 when Tomas and Alex simultaneously fell asleep during a lengthy trip report on Quincy Quarries, blowing the onsight. Hug Beth for us, Tommy, then get your send on.


Allez. Homard.


fancyclaps


Jan 3, 2006, 12:21 AM
Post #685 of 977 (154337 views)
Shortcut

Registered: Nov 23, 2005
Posts: 210

Re: Big Cams [In reply to]
Report this Post
Average: avg_1 avg_2 avg_3 avg_4 avg_5 (0 ratings)  
Can't Post

Dear n00b:
I have been having some problems with my climbing partners. See I lead all the time, but I don't place much protection because my balls are huge. I mean they are so big, they will cushion my fall. Failing that I am so incredibly manly that if I break a bone or something, I just rub some whiskey on it and I am okay. I have gotten to the point where no one climbs with me anymore because I am so awesome that they feel like little girls. In some cases they actually HAVE been little girls, and I made them cry for being pansies. So what should I do? Being so manly means I can walk up 5.17s but it hurts my friendships, I am lost!


mp29000


Jan 3, 2006, 3:06 AM
Post #686 of 977 (154337 views)
Shortcut

Registered: Oct 29, 2004
Posts: 20

Re: Big Cams [In reply to]
Report this Post
Average: avg_1 avg_2 avg_3 avg_4 avg_5 (0 ratings)  
Can't Post

In reply to:
Dear n00b:
I have been having some problems with my climbing partners. See I lead all the time, but I don't place much protection because my balls are huge. I mean they are so big, they will cushion my fall. Failing that I am so incredibly manly that if I break a bone or something, I just rub some whiskey on it and I am okay. I have gotten to the point where no one climbs with me anymore because I am so awesome that they feel like little girls. In some cases they actually HAVE been little girls, and I made them cry for being pansies. So what should I do? Being so manly means I can walk up 5.17s but it hurts my friendships, I am lost!

silly n00b, everyone know that the cure for broken bones is deep fried ham sammiches.


jakedatc


Jan 3, 2006, 9:00 PM
Post #687 of 977 (154337 views)
Shortcut

Registered: Mar 12, 2003
Posts: 11054

Re: Big Cams [In reply to]
Report this Post
Average: avg_1 avg_2 avg_3 avg_4 avg_5 (0 ratings)  
Can't Post

Dear ever wise lobster man

I was talking to.. well.. you about sewing up a trad line with a most rediculous amount of gear.. which got me thinking.. how much gear is safe to place?

when in doubt... don't break the crag eh?

Jake
designer of the Addirossa approach shoe


subtle


Jan 4, 2006, 1:09 AM
Post #688 of 977 (154337 views)
Shortcut

Registered: Sep 17, 2004
Posts: 438

Re: Big Cams [In reply to]
Report this Post
Average: avg_1 avg_2 avg_3 avg_4 avg_5 (0 ratings)  
Can't Post

In reply to:
...I am so incredibly manly that if I break a bone or something, I just rub some whiskey on it and I am okay. I have gotten to the point where no one climbs with me anymore because I am so awesome that they feel like little girls. In some cases they actually HAVE been little girls, and I made them cry for being pansies. So what should I do? Being so manly means I can walk up 5.17s but it hurts my friendships, I am lost!

Ok, firstly, unless you wear a purple velvet track suit to the bowling alley, hang out with a guy named Liam and habitually refer to yourself as "the Jesus", you probably want to stay away from the little girls. We here at Ask The NOOB do not judge...but c'mon man...that's just creepy.

Anyhow, it's blatantly obvious that you're no sport climber. You claim to send 5.17 but you made no mention of spandex, being sponsored, climbing in Ceuse/Rifle/The Red and...most ominous...competely failed to bring up hair care products altogether. You, sir, are living a lie.

So here's what you do...you chuck your whole life in a Project Mayhem inspired frenzy and move out to the desert. Find yourself some absolutely wretched 5000ft tower made entirely out of mud, pea gravel and...I dunno...coyote dung, or something. Name your project The Rusty Iron Knife Stab Stab Kill Massif Tetanus Tower Of Doom, and spend 16 hours a day for six years establishing the mother of all death routes up the sunless South Face, where dreams go to die and coyotes go to...poop. Place a total of 2 bolts and a tatty fixed sling girth hitched to a cow skull. Then, after a 97 hour continuous push FA where you had to drink your own urine to survive, ponder at length in Nietzchian think-pieces faxed to the mags if the second bolt really 'emasculated' your 'vision of primal thrusting dominance'...and wether or not Jim Beyer would think you were an 'agro hard man'.

Then, y'know, go get that velvet track suit...

Allez. That rug really tied the room together, did it not? Homard.


shanz


Jan 4, 2006, 1:33 AM
Post #689 of 977 (154337 views)
Shortcut

Registered: May 18, 2004
Posts: 702

Re: Big Cams [In reply to]
Report this Post
Average: avg_1 avg_2 avg_3 avg_4 avg_5 (0 ratings)  
Can't Post

Oh great NOOB im need some advice,
Im going to be buying a house and ive chosen between two styles. A nice big 3 bedroom ranch style with a basement, or an "A" frame house thats 2.5 stories high. So heres my problem i cant decide which cause since one day i want to be able to call myself a solid 5.9 climber (i can dream can't i?).

should i buy the ranch style house and cut the floors out of two of the bedrooms and build my own climbing wall with multiple angles with walls i build myself. I would be more like a boulderer with this

or just by the 2.5 story "A" with a 45 degree overhand and just install a belay station right next to the bathroom so i dont have to carry a container. i would be more like a big wall climber this way


subtle


Jan 5, 2006, 3:47 AM
Post #690 of 977 (154337 views)
Shortcut

Registered: Sep 17, 2004
Posts: 438

Re: Big Cams [In reply to]
Report this Post
Average: avg_1 avg_2 avg_3 avg_4 avg_5 (0 ratings)  
Can't Post

In reply to:
Dear ever wise lobster man

I was talking to.. well.. you about sewing up a trad line with a most rediculous amount of gear.. which got me thinking.. how much gear is safe to place?

when in doubt... don't break the crag eh?

Jake
designer of the Addirossa approach shoe

Ok, for those of you who don't have the benefit of knowing Jake as I do...which is probably most of you...this is a terribly ironic question. Jake's current rack consists of like a nut, a tri-cam, a pinecone on a shoelace and a beautiful band-new Red Alien that he uses as a stuffed animal suspesion device. Seriously, bro, that's wierd. Ok, on to your question...and hopefully not thinking about stuff like that any more.

In theory, there's going to be some sort of limiting factor on a gear route...usually how much you can acquire, how much you can carry, or how much you can place. Now, any trad climber worth the salt on their non-tequila shooting hand has compulsive gear scavenging hard coded into their DNA. They can practically smell a manky 17 year old forged friend being posted on eBay from halfway around the world. Better get your scrounge on pronto, Jake, because somewhere out there is a guy yelling "Oi! It's a bleedin' vintage 4-lober for only 3 quid! Crikey, where's me credit card!".

So, by now you've most likely bartered most of your worldly posessions for octuple nuts from #1 to #12, sixteen of each cam from .5 to 4 and 283 Aliens...a pretty standard rack, in other words. Hooking all 3987lbs of clanky metal goodness to your harness is going to make it somewhat tougher to campus the proj. Ah, but what to do...what to do? Fortunately for you, there has been a gradual shift in trad ethics recently, with pre-positioned gear being seen as a necessary evil on some high-end lines. When asked why you found it necessary to rap in to install 43 cams in the first 15 feet, simply explain that Baby's First Gear Climb 5.6+ is actually a sandbag run-out death route and besides...you need both hands free to campus, yo...sheesh, don't you people know how to climb?!?

Allez. Tell 'em, Jake. Homard.


lewisiarediviva


Jan 9, 2006, 6:14 AM
Post #691 of 977 (154337 views)
Shortcut

Registered: Aug 1, 2004
Posts: 527

Re: Big Cams [In reply to]
Report this Post
Average: avg_1 avg_2 avg_3 avg_4 avg_5 (0 ratings)  
Can't Post

NOOB,

I was in the "climbing pants" thread and realized that we experienced climbers may be trapped in a marketing target. We have lost our creativity and our self expression. Of course I came straight to the innocent noob that has yet to be fully entrap into the idea of what it means to be a real climber.

The other day at the post office I saw a lady wearing stirrup pants. I thought: those pants must be 20 years old! This ladies pants were in perfect shape. They had no rips or snags. Who knew that a simple fad could be so tough and perfect for our sport?

I have not seen any pants like these in any of the climbing clothing catalogs that come to my mail box. Where can I find a pair of stirrup pants?


subtle


Jan 10, 2006, 12:59 AM
Post #692 of 977 (154337 views)
Shortcut

Registered: Sep 17, 2004
Posts: 438

Re: Big Cams [In reply to]
Report this Post
Average: avg_1 avg_2 avg_3 avg_4 avg_5 (0 ratings)  
Can't Post

In reply to:
I was in the "climbing pants" thread and realized that we experienced climbers may be trapped in a marketing target. We have lost our creativity and our self expression. Of course I came straight to the innocent noob that has yet to be fully entrap into the idea of what it means to be a real climber.

The other day at the post office I saw a lady wearing stirrup pants. I thought: those pants must be 20 years old! This ladies pants were in perfect shape. They had no rips or snags. Who knew that a simple fad could be so tough and perfect for our sport?

I have not seen any pants like these in any of the climbing clothing catalogs that come to my mail box. Where can I find a pair of stirrup pants?

The climbing pants thread? Surely you must be joking...ummm...I hope you're joking.

Well, on the off chance you're not kidding, there's a potential problem with your plan. Your standard issue Mall-rat Katrina & The Waves issue stirrup pant basically resembles a pair of prAna ninja knickers with an elastic loop sewn across the bottom of the leg opening that you stick your foot in...like a stirrup, oooooh, I get it...on the way to your checkerboard Vans Off The Wall surfer kicks. This is fine if you plan on being all Footloose, and Walking on Sunshine down to Electric Avenue , but if you plan on climbing in those totally tubular bad boys, you're going to have some problems.

If you're rocking anything more modern than a pair of 1974 Ron Kauk model high-top EBs, chances are your shoe has what's called a slingshot heel. The 'slingshot' is basically a big rubber band that wraps around the back of the heel, jams your toes into the front of the shoe and gives you instant gangrene. If you wear your boots tight enough, you can potentially blow the back of your shoe out out mid-route...or, ahem, walking to the soda machine. So I hear...

Anyhow, I trust you see the problem. You've got like 50,000 Megatons of explosive force bottled up in your V10 slippers...one wrong move toward a can of Red Bull could set those things off, let me tell you...and you want to mechanically link them to your ass via some manky high-tension 1983 vintage elastic? Are you insane? One wrong backstep on the proj and you're going to a splode like some sort of Gap Band You Dropped a Bomb On Me grenade. There'll be nothing left of you but your Frankie Say Relax t-shirt and your swami belt.

Don't do it. Get yourself a pair of SkidZ or something...if you dare.

Allez. Seriously, there's a climbing pants thread? Homard.


rockguide


Jan 10, 2006, 1:47 AM
Post #693 of 977 (154337 views)
Shortcut

Registered: Nov 8, 2004
Posts: 1359

Re: Big Cams [In reply to]
Report this Post
Average: avg_1 avg_2 avg_3 avg_4 avg_5 (0 ratings)  
Can't Post

Dear nOOB,

I am climbing at the gym and noticed my harness was different from everyone elses. I have a waist belt buckle, like they do, but no buckles on my leg loops. They make a circle, but no buckles.

Did my buckles fall off? Is my harness still safe? Please answer quickly because I am at the top of the wall unwilling to commit my weight to the rope until I know (emailed this from my cell phone).

Dude .... I am pumping out here


lewisiarediviva


Jan 10, 2006, 3:24 AM
Post #694 of 977 (154337 views)
Shortcut

Registered: Aug 1, 2004
Posts: 527

Re: Big Cams [In reply to]
Report this Post
Average: avg_1 avg_2 avg_3 avg_4 avg_5 (0 ratings)  
Can't Post

http://www.rockclimbing.com/...php?t=101659&start=0Climbing pants thread. Enough said.


goob3r


Jan 10, 2006, 4:18 AM
Post #695 of 977 (154337 views)
Shortcut

Registered: Jan 6, 2006
Posts: 219

Re: Big Cams [In reply to]
Report this Post
Average: avg_1 avg_2 avg_3 avg_4 avg_5 (0 ratings)  
Can't Post

Kudos on this thread.. me likey and appreciate :roll:


donie


Jan 10, 2006, 4:21 AM
Post #696 of 977 (154337 views)
Shortcut

Registered: Feb 17, 2004
Posts: 678

Re: Big Cams [In reply to]
Report this Post
Average: avg_1 avg_2 avg_3 avg_4 avg_5 (0 ratings)  
Can't Post

Yeah, okay goober....................... :roll:


Partner pt


Jan 10, 2006, 5:16 AM
Post #697 of 977 (154337 views)
Shortcut

Registered: May 29, 2003
Posts: 400

Re: Big Cams [In reply to]
Report this Post
Average: avg_1 avg_2 avg_3 avg_4 avg_5 (0 ratings)  
Can't Post

Dear Noob,

I climb sooo hard (5.11+) that hardly anyone is qualified to give me advice any more. Where do I go for answers to my skin and hair care problems?


goob3r


Jan 10, 2006, 5:51 AM
Post #698 of 977 (154337 views)
Shortcut

Registered: Jan 6, 2006
Posts: 219

Re: Big Cams [In reply to]
Report this Post
Average: avg_1 avg_2 avg_3 avg_4 avg_5 (0 ratings)  
Can't Post

In reply to:
Dear Noob,

I climb sooo hard (5.11+) that hardly anyone is qualified to give me advice any more. Where do I go for answers to my skin and hair care problems?

yo momma


4togo


Jan 10, 2006, 7:33 AM
Post #699 of 977 (154337 views)
Shortcut

Registered: May 29, 2005
Posts: 134

Re: Big Cams [In reply to]
Report this Post
Average: avg_1 avg_2 avg_3 avg_4 avg_5 (0 ratings)  
Can't Post

Dear N00b,

If you ever start selling framed N00bisms... I've got dibs on this one:

In reply to:
one wrong move toward a can of Red Bull could set those things off, let me tell you...and you want to mechanically link them to your ass via some manky high-tension 1983 vintage elastic? Are you insane?

Seriously. A little 4x6 frame with "Ask the N00b" emblazoned on the front bottom.

Would be... sweet.


Partner wideguy


Jan 10, 2006, 2:42 PM
Post #700 of 977 (154388 views)
Shortcut

Registered: Jan 9, 2003
Posts: 15045

Re: Big Cams [In reply to]
Report this Post
Average: avg_1 avg_2 avg_3 avg_4 avg_5 (0 ratings)  
Can't Post

In reply to:
So, by now you've most likely bartered most of your worldly posessions for octuple nuts from #1 to #12, sixteen of each cam from .5 to 4 and 283 Aliens...a pretty standard rack, in other words.
Allez. Tell 'em, Jake. Homard.

Dear Noob, thanks for the above. I have been hoping for such a clear, concise listing of what I should be shooting for. My meager 6 cams, single set of nuts,a 3 tri-cams I knew was insufficient but now I know just how much so.

My question is one of balance. I hear many say that to truly reach your potential as a climber you should practice all types. Once I get my new rack set per your descriptions, how do I rack it all and still have room for 10 sport draws, my really undersized downturned slippers, a beanie, a mattress and a ham sandwich??

Sincerely,

Concerned in Massachusetts

First page Previous page 1 ... 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 ... 40 Next page Last page  View All

Forums : Climbing Information : General

 


Search for (options)

Log In:

Username:
Password: Remember me:

Go Register
Go Lost Password?



Follow us on Twiter Become a Fan on Facebook