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passthepitonspete
May 11, 2002, 1:56 PM
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Registered: Oct 10, 2001
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I AM A SOLO WALL CLIMBER
by "Pass the Pitons" Pete Zabrok
Oakville, Ontario
October 6, 2001
Sung to the Monty Python tune "Decomposing Composers" by Michael Palin, which itself bears strong resemblance to Pachelbel's Canon
Intro and Verse:
D \ A \ Bm \ Fsharp m \ G \ D \ Em \ A
Chorus: D \ G \ Bm \ A \ D \ G \ A \ D
Verse:
Oh I'm getting too old for tight finger locks,
and hand cracks just don't cut it no more,
you can leave the offwidths to big-muscled jocks,
and free climbing's becoming a bore
Sure, Sacherer Crackers with butter taste good
like Cookies in the Twilight Zone,
but I won't stick my fingers inside of a crack
and grind my skin right down to the bone
Chorus:
I am a solo wall climber,
there's very few like me you'll meet
my partner is Wee-Wee the Big Wall Crab,
and I'm "Pass the Pitons" Pete
Yes, you can turn pages in free climbing guides
and drool over pictures in books
but I'll never wear EBs, or Ninjas or such
I'd really rather pull out my hooks
You won't see me wobbling or calling out "take!"
as free climbing woosies will do
ev'ry ten seconds or so it would seem
when they're flailing and falling near you
I am a solo wall climber -
a highly unusual man,
my bank account's empty, my haulbags are full
and my aid rack's worth more than my van
No showers of white shall come down from my hands
I don't own a chalkbag - that's good
you'll see where I've been pasting heads and the like,
it's obvious, just look for my blood
From neighbouring routes you can easily see
my painted-up ledge, it looks fab,
my shout back to you will ring loud and ring true,
"That isn't a flag, it's a CRAB!"
I am a solo wall climber -
it's what God has meant me to be,
you can keep all your shiny new quickdraws,
just pass all your pitons to me
At twilight the wind dies and quiet abounds
and silence lies as still as the moon,
or at least it seems so til my bivi's set up
and I crank out the evening's first tune
In morning all climbers make quick alpine starts
In their hurry to get up the hill
But I'll drink more coffee, it isn't yet noon
So there's plenty of time to refill
I am a solo wall climber
With plenty of tricks in my pouch
My training is ever so rig'rous
I only climb straight off the couch
Don't bore me with stories of bolts you have clipped
Or 5.12 routes that you have sent
I couldn't care less any more because now I'm in
Free Climbing Retirement
Yes, solo wall climbing is true Peace on Earth
Away from life's struggles and strife
Nobody can bug me or ask me for dough,
Especially that bitch, my ex-wife
I am a solo wall climber -
my leads take me ten or twelve hours
But at least I don't smell too disgusting
Cuz I bring up my solar-power'd shower
Yes I am a solo wall climber -
a radder dude you'll never meet,
Point high on the wall at the speck and then shout,
"Look up! It's 'Pass the Pitons' Pete!"
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kelownaclimber
May 11, 2002, 2:22 PM
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Hi Pete,I love your song it definately is sung from the heart.
Cheers,Mike
[ This Message was edited by: kelownaclimber on 2002-05-11 07:29 ]
[ This Message was edited by: kelownaclimber on 2002-05-11 08:11 ]
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kelownaclimber
May 11, 2002, 2:26 PM
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Pete,
Is there any chance there is a recording of this??It would be awesome to play it next weekend at the Skaha camping thing.There will be at least a dozen RC.com members there.You should record it and include it in Chongo's book!!!!!!!A cd inside the jacket....classic!!!
[ This Message was edited by: kelownaclimber on 2002-05-11 08:11 ]
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stigonrock
May 11, 2002, 8:06 PM
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Hahaha. I'd love to hear ya sing that Pete. Its hilarious! Nice One!
But did I read..
"FREE CLIMBING WOOSIES!"
Oh dude!
I, 'Stig' promise to try REALLY hard and NOT to throw chalk-balls at PTPP and make him look like a complete snowflake if he ever crosses my path!.
[ This Message was edited by: stigonrock on 2002-05-11 13:07 ]
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crackaddict
May 11, 2002, 8:56 PM
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Ah Pete the songs you come up with.
You can tell that you spend a lot of time on the wall soloing.
That is good stuff!
Keep em comming. We want more!
Encore! Encore!
[ This Message was edited by: crackaddict on 2002-05-11 13:57 ]
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hardcoredana
May 11, 2002, 10:08 PM
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That deserves an eight!!!
Actually a ten, but I'm gonna make you work for that one.
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johnhenry
May 12, 2002, 3:29 AM
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Registered: Feb 28, 2002
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Outstanding Pete!!!
I thought I was the only one who wrote wall songs. My two favorites are of course John Henry by Johnny cash with wall lyrics.
If you know this classic tune, the refrain goes:
"I can hoist a bag, and I can free a crack.
I can lead and follow too,
'can you swing a hammer son'
Yes, sir! I climb any wall that you would hire me too..."
My second favorite is Wall Studs in the Sky!
Its sung to Ghost Riders in Sky.
Chords are Am, G with a F thrown in the chorus
The words are:
"Some young wall studs went leading out
one hot and sunny day...
On a micro-nut he rested
as he hooked along his way...
Not a single piece between them
would hold the slightest fall...
He'd rip down to the anchors
portaledge might break his jaw
Yippie ya yo, yippie ya yeah
Wall studs in the sky...
His pins were all on fire
and his shirt was soaked in sweat...
He's climbing hard to make that ledge
but he aint made it yet...
They got to climb forever
on that big stone in the sky..
Trying to climb the devil's line
hanging, wondering why!"
Let's cut an album of wall tunes to finance a road trip.
Rock on, John
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trevor
Anonymous Poster
May 12, 2002, 3:34 PM
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In classic PTPP-style, he pulls another trick out of his bag. Entertaining
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darkside
May 12, 2002, 11:37 PM
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Hey folks, I heard PTPP render this tune at Uncle Stu's last week and it was funny BUT...erm...pete, don't we need a new version? "I'm a solo wall climber, and I love clipping sport".
Sorry Pete but you gotta admit it was a weekend for firsts. Hope you have a blast when you return to the wall next month, just don't forget how to swing that hammer
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addiroids
May 13, 2002, 5:21 PM
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Registered: Oct 11, 2001
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Well I guess Pass the Nails Nancy just clipped his first bolts in a while according to that last post huh??
But that song was just hilarious Pete. You are a very creative individual. I am still planning on being in the Valley MAYBE Friday afternoon (hopefully earlier) and stay until Tues morning. I will leave a message with your secretary in Camp 5.
TRADitionally yours,
Cali Dirtbag
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maddie
May 13, 2002, 11:45 PM
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Registered: Jan 18, 2002
Posts: 197
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Hehehe thats cool!
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