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davisjl1979
Jan 12, 2006, 6:59 PM
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My wife, who has long despised my desire to climb, has expressed that she would like to start climbing with me. This is like a dream come true and I know that I shouldn't force this on her and accept it if she doesn't enjoy the sport. I don't want to screw it up by pushing her to hard, so my question to you all is how should I approach this. My closest crag is in the Winston-Salem area, and I haven't climbed there yet, so some beginner routes would be some great info too. ANY help will be greatly appreciated.
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skatedork
Jan 12, 2006, 7:12 PM
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Maybe take her to an indoor gym for her first experience, it is a lot more controlled and that will give her a small taste of what the sport is about. I actually just took my gf for a belay class last night at the local gym so she could learn the knots, she loved it and wont stop talking about climbing now.
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dino
Jan 12, 2006, 7:37 PM
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Take her bouldering-she'll love it!
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granite_grrl
Jan 12, 2006, 8:09 PM
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in response to people telling you to take her climbing indoors or bouldering: you should know your wife well enough to know what kind of climbing she might have the most fun with. Personally if I hadn't started on routes outside I wouldn't have become instantly addicted (indoor climbing, meh, and would have been frustrated with bouldering).
Hope you get some good route recomendations and it seems that you're approching the situation well. Let her call the shots on when to go and how hard to push. I hope she finds the beauty in the sport :).
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gmreeves
Jan 12, 2006, 8:33 PM
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The one thing that I have found to be helpful when taking my wife climbing is, be familiar with the area. Be familiar with how to get there, rest stops on the way, the approach, the routes, restaurants after the day of climbing, etc. My wife really enjoys the idea of climbing for a fitness aspect and not an adventure aspect. I lean more towards the other way. If I get lost on the way, stop at a hole in the wall gas station and can't stand the bathroom because of the filth, get lost on the approach, off route during the climb or get shut down, I love it! For her, she wants to know exactly where she is going and what to expect. Your wife may be different but this is how mine is. The one thing we do agree on as far as climbing goes is some good eats and a beer after a day on the rock.
My suggestion would be if you are going to take her to the Winston-Salem area for her first time on the rocks, don't let it be your first time. You want it to be a smooth transition. Also, the more girls she has climbing with her the better. They seem to feed on the same energy and support, something that us guys will never be able to give. Maybe have her bring a friend?
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charley
Jan 12, 2006, 10:11 PM
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That's not far from pilot mnt. state park. There is a bathroom by the parking lot and the walk in and out are not too hard. Both pluses with a first time climbing wife. There are lots of toprope climbs there that are easy to set up. Most of the climbs have bolt anchors at the top and are accessable from trails at the top. When you are walking down the trail, that starts at the upper right corner of the parking lots, keep your eyes open for a trail off to the left. There is a huge boulder on your right maybe 35 yards away and a trail off to the left. This trail is the access to the bottom of the climbs. Look to see you are in the right place then follow the trail along the top of the climbs. I will repeat, turn left off main trail then right along the top. The first and third sets of anchors you come to are 5.5 or 5.6 climbs. The first wanders from face to face but is true to the grade. Try to get a guide or go with someone who has been there makes it alot easier. Good luck. The walk in is about 15 min. So the trail off to the left would be in around 10 min.
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davisjl1979
Feb 14, 2006, 12:42 AM
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Thanks everyone for the responses. We're going to wait til it warms up a bit and plan a trip to pilot mountain. Our first outing is definitely going to be all toproping. I've also built a small bouldering wall in my garage for conditioning. That should help cushion some of the initial impact on the physical side. Once again, all responses were very helpful, and greatly appreciated.
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bvb
Feb 14, 2006, 1:06 AM
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introducing your wife to climbing??
DAMN.
just buy a bouldering pad, lay her down, and climb on top of her ya tard. do we need to draw a diagram for you? would visual aids help??
curt can lend you some viagra if you're, uh, having "techincal difficulties". and don't forget your, um, "pro".
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yokese
Feb 14, 2006, 1:21 AM
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In reply to: ..just buy a bouldering pad..
In desperate situations, a blanket may work too.
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wonderwoman
Feb 14, 2006, 1:23 AM
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In reply to: The one thing we do agree on as far as climbing goes is some good eats and a beer after a day on the rock.
You are a man who has his priorities straight! A date is a great way to end the day. We end ours with jalepeno poppers, pizza, a pitcher of beer and a pool table.
In reply to: just buy a bouldering pad, lay her down, and climb on top of her ya tard. do we need to draw a diagram for you? would visual aids help??
Reserve the romantic scrump for after the climbing is done. You won't perform as well on the rock and will fail to impress her.
PS - Do your friends know where your bouldering pad has been?
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bester
Feb 14, 2006, 7:15 AM
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Tell her 'well you wanted to get out of the kitchen'
oh BTW I call dibs on your climbing gear :)
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thetroutscout
Feb 14, 2006, 7:43 AM
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Does she really want to learn to climb or does she just want to spend time with you and sees climbing as that doorway? Worlds will collide man, worlds will collide...
^^ike
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davisjl1979
Feb 17, 2006, 12:12 AM
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I think she sees this as a way to get outdoors and spend some time with me. I haven't been climbing in 8 months, so it isn't like she is competing with it. It was her idea to go with me and I'm just taking her up on it. But I really want her to have fun and enjoy it.
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tradclmbr
Feb 17, 2006, 12:48 AM
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I had a similar situation - though my wife never despised climbing. My advice to you is drop any delusions of her becoming your primary partner and all "us" time being spent cragging around the US and beyond (I had those delusions briefly because my wife exceled at climbing on her first day).
My wife likes climbing.....likes it about once every six months or so. I climb several days per week. I never ask if she wants to go, just let her know Im going and she'll chime in if it appeals to her.
Oh and don't give her a rapid drop when lowering - just for a joke - no matter how tempting it is.........lesson learned here and Im still hearing about it. Im such an ass.
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booknerd
Mar 1, 2006, 8:40 PM
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Treat her with consideration...if she gets scared let go and NEVER mention it again. I've taught all my sisters to climb and some just can't let go of the fear. Be encouraging but don't insist that she finish anything. And try to put her on a super-simple climb at first so she has that first thrill of success.
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ckirkwood9
Mar 1, 2006, 10:08 PM
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I've brought a few new people to the gym (gfs, friends both men and women). the biggest thing to do is to make sure they have many successes early on. Think Positive Reinforcement!
No matter how many times it's explained to them that developing climbing strength/skills is a progression, I've found that may beginners get easily frustrated when climbing with those who are much more experienced. This is the case because the experienced climber "makes it look so easy" and they don't understand why they can't climb the same thing.
Also - many beginners don't grasp the concept that failing to complete a climb means that they're pushing themselves (which is good) and doesn't mean they're climbing failures (very bad).
Suggestions:
1) try to introduce peeps to climbing in groups so they can celebrate their successes and work together on their difficulties together.
2) After the first few climbs... unless they ask for advice... stop telling them how to climb.... I've had people tell me that there's nothing more maddening for a beginner than your belayer yelling instructions at them when they're trying desperately to cling to a seemingly impossible hold.
3) Understand that no matter HOW well you get along... sometimes it's difficult to take instruction from your significant other. Maybe have your wife/girlfriend/boyfriend climb with other peeps in the gym and just check in on them every now and then.
4) Remember - for the first few weeks... it has to be about THEM having fun, not YOU having fun. Don't complain when they ask you to do that 5.5 "just so they can see how it's done". Don't get antsy when all your friends are hitting that new 5.12 and you're stuck belaying on the kiddie wall. In the end.. your patience will be rewarded with an enthusiastic climber who'll eventually be able to run up and down the more challenging routes with you.
and if all the above fails....
5) Exit your PITA (pain in the ass) relationship and get a really cool significant other who is so laid back that no matter what happens they're cool and just go with the flow. (I'm lucky on this point!)
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kixx
Mar 2, 2006, 11:21 PM
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I was always making plans to go climbing and my wife was always left out, assuming she could never keep up or learn anything about it.
One day she asked me to get her involved and it was great because now that she has minimal experience on a top rope and at a gym (that's where we started, she wisely didn't not want to start outside and the concept of a boulder problem has never had any appeal to her) then when I'm out with others on bigger stuff that she knows she can't be a part of, at least she has an understanding of the techniques and terminology so she can feel a part of the during planning and afterword.
She used to get upset b/c I would disappear for a few days and when I returned she would ask "how was it?" and I would say "good" and she'd get pissy. Now I can actually tell her about it which allows me to not feel so guilty for spending more time climbing.
Good stuff
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pecall
Mar 6, 2006, 1:53 PM
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As John Sherman has said:
"Romance and hard climbing mix well for about as long as oil and vinegar. Most climbers, however, nourish a dream that one day a woman of knee-weakening beauty will come strolling amongst the boulders, fall in love with him and travel with him around the world, climbing, for the rest of their days.
It is common knowledge that such women do not exist, or at least aren't single.
But the dream persists..."
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mikej
Mar 6, 2006, 5:19 PM
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I introduced my wife to climbing about 2.5 years ago. Until she got pregnant we made regular gym and outdoor trips. Whenever we boulder i have to remind her that bouldering starts fairly high up the climbing scale and try not to get frustrated. She's been doing well and enjoys getting out doors with me. She did her first 5.11 top rope and started leading a while ago and sent her first outdoor boulder problem in jacks canyon. She even got to name it cause its mostly a sport area and nobody thinks to boulder there. Its great that she climbs with me. The only problem is she gets really competitive and bugged when i get on things she cant work on. Plus she always pulls the "short card" on me cause she's 5'2 and im 6'2.
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pecall
Mar 7, 2006, 7:56 AM
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In reply to: ...Plus she always pulls the "short card" on me cause she's 5'2 and im 6'2.
So, she's about the same height as Lynn Hill. Tell her that.
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notch
Mar 7, 2006, 11:49 AM
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In reply to: if she gets scared let go and NEVER mention it again.
Maybe don't let go right away though. I recommend lowering her off first. Although if you do let go, never mentioning it is probably a good idea.
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kevin2
Mar 9, 2006, 4:45 AM
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You are a lucky man. I've done everything, including begging, but the wife won't climb. The kids will, but the wife will have nothing of it. I even resorted to having the kids goating her, but that didn't work either!
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mikej
Mar 9, 2006, 3:26 PM
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In reply to: kevin2 Posted: 08 Mar 2006 21:45 Post subject: Re: Introducing wife to climbing -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- You are a lucky man. I've done everything, including begging, but the wife won't climb. The kids will, but the wife will have nothing of it. I even resorted to having the kids goating her, but that didn't work either
ahh goating, the old technique of putting on small horns, letting people milk you and eating virtually everything in sight all while bleating mindlessly. I love that technique.
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drrock
Mar 9, 2006, 4:56 PM
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Do it. My wife tolerated my climbing for about 3 years and then finally decided to try it. After going to the gym a couple times, we went outdoors and she finally understood the addiction. She actually dragged me to the local crag after work on multiple occasions, and had her own projects (so they were all sub-5.9, who cares?) She belayed me tirelessly on my projects as well, which was awesome. She only dropped me once, haha. Just expect the pace of the climbing to approximate the level of a beginner. Which is fine. Be encouranging and patient. Also tie her into an anchor on the ground if you lead anything (like a rock, tree, etc.) if she weighs a lot less than you.
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