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fenderfour
Apr 21, 2008, 6:21 PM
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Registered: Sep 12, 2005
Posts: 177
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I offer a bit of perspective.
You are not Steve F*cking House.
Steve F*cking House climbed Nanga F*cking Parbat, the North Face of the North F*cking Twin and a bunch of other gnarly F*cking lines that I can't even begin to imagine. See how that works? When you are F*cking awesome "F*cking" gets added to your name. Some other examples are Mark F*cking Twight, Jim F*cking Bridwell, and John F*cking Wayne. That's right, John F*cking Wayne.
I'm not trying to downplay your achievements. Going climbing instead of sitting on your ass and watching TV is an laudable feat for the average American. It still does not make you Steve F*cking House.
"I'm not an average American"
Yes you are. All that crap that was fed to you through grad school about being unique and special is total sh*t. You are as average as the next guy. Get used to it. I know, you are a "climber" that likes "alpine climbing" in "adverse conditions". If you are climbing routes described in a guidebook, you are just another AVERAGE climber.
Sorry, it's not my fault, it's yours.
Steve F*cking House is not an average climber. He is a professional. He has sponsorships because he kicks *ss. You got a pro deal because your buddy works at REI.
Reinhold F*cking Messner had this to say about Steve F*cking House: "Steve House is the best alpinist ever to come out of North America."
Reinhold F*cking Messner had this to say about you: "…"
This morning Steve F*cking House woke up, climbed the West Buttress of Denali, soloed the Moose's Tooth, humped your mom and b*tch slapped Chuck Norris before you even thought about chopping the morning wood. All of these things were accomplished under his own power from his home in Oregon with carbon offset credits and a load of food for some hungry orphans in Ti-F*cking-bet.
Don't invoke the name of Steve F*cking House when discussing your own climbing exploits, gear selection or technique. Show a little humility.
"Well, it's good enough for Steve House"
There are so many things wrong with that statement I find it difficult to even begin.
1. You did not include the correct modifier. It's "Steve F*cking House".
2. It's good enough because he is Steve F*cking House. He could climb WI6 / M8 with a butter knife and long toenails, but he hasn't because that would be showing off.
3. You are comparing your own climbing skills to that of Steve F*cking House. Let me reiterate:
Gear manufacturers ask Steve F*cking House if new gear is any good. You ask a bunch of jack*sses on the internet if new gear is any good.
Steve F*cking House lives, breathes, and sh*ts climbing. You go on weekend trips. In light of this, you are not good enough to safely climb out of bed using the gear and techniques that Steve F*cking House has spent years perfecting and understanding.
I'm just another sh*tty climber, at least I understand that you can't fake greatness.
"Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken." T. Durden
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granite_grrl
Apr 21, 2008, 7:02 PM
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Registered: Oct 25, 2002
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Started strong, but kinda dragged by the end. But still, a better rant than most that you'll find on RC.com.
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the_climber
Apr 21, 2008, 8:35 PM
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Registered: Oct 9, 2003
Posts: 6142
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Good rant! Made my f*cking day.
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shockabuku
Apr 21, 2008, 8:47 PM
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Registered: May 20, 2006
Posts: 4868
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But wait, what if my girlfriend knows this guy who had a friend whose roommate was Steve House's cousin?
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shockabuku
Apr 21, 2008, 9:12 PM
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Registered: May 20, 2006
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j_ung wrote: shockabuku wrote: But wait, what if my girlfriend knows this guy who had a friend whose roommate was Steve House's cousin? Way to break rule number one. 
Doh!
But wait, what if my girlfriend knows this guy who had a friend whose roommate was Steve F*cking House's cousin?
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angry
Apr 21, 2008, 9:17 PM
Post #7 of 15
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Registered: Jul 22, 2003
Posts: 8405
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shockabuku wrote: j_ung wrote: shockabuku wrote: But wait, what if my girlfriend knows this guy who had a friend whose roommate was Steve House's cousin? Way to break rule number one. Doh! But wait, what if my girlfriend knows this guy who had a friend whose roommate was Steve F*cking House's cousin?
Your f*cking girlfriend is f*cking Steve f*cking House in your f*cking house and there's not a f*cking thing you're going to do about it.
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divnamite
Apr 21, 2008, 9:25 PM
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Registered: Feb 20, 2007
Posts: 114
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angry wrote: shockabuku wrote: j_ung wrote: shockabuku wrote: But wait, what if my girlfriend knows this guy who had a friend whose roommate was Steve House's cousin? Way to break rule number one. Doh! But wait, what if my girlfriend knows this guy who had a friend whose roommate was Steve F*cking House's cousin? Your f*cking girlfriend is f*cking Steve f*cking House in your f*cking house and there's not a f*cking thing you're going to do about it. |
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shockabuku
Apr 21, 2008, 9:40 PM
Post #9 of 15
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Registered: May 20, 2006
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divnamite wrote: angry wrote: shockabuku wrote: j_ung wrote: shockabuku wrote: But wait, what if my girlfriend knows this guy who had a friend whose roommate was Steve House's cousin? Way to break rule number one. Doh! But wait, what if my girlfriend knows this guy who had a friend whose roommate was Steve F*cking House's cousin? Your f*cking girlfriend is f*cking Steve f*cking House in your f*cking house and there's not a f*cking thing you're going to do about it. F*cking angry is right, you f*cking f*ck.
Haha!
Now you've applied the same modifier to me (f*cking f*ck) that is used for Steve F*cking House. I'm moving up in the world!
So is F*cking Angry.
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mattb1921
Apr 21, 2008, 9:41 PM
Post #10 of 15
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Registered: Nov 30, 2006
Posts: 144
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I needed a good laugh. You know I believe Steve F*ucking House might be single. Maybe you could look into it. Although if you are a male I am not sure if he is into that sort of thing.
Thanks for the laugh. 
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skiclimb
Apr 22, 2008, 9:52 PM
Post #11 of 15
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Registered: Jan 11, 2004
Posts: 1938
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F*ck Stevie House
He can't touch the Sh*t I've done.
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skinnyclimber
Apr 22, 2008, 10:01 PM
Post #12 of 15
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Registered: Apr 27, 2005
Posts: 406
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I agree with you here. I will never mention my name. In the same sentence and Steve F*cking House.
Peace.
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rasoy
Apr 23, 2008, 1:52 AM
Post #13 of 15
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Registered: Jul 28, 2007
Posts: 242
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Well no fuking shit.
I guess RC com types here don't know how to roll with the fuking ball.
No shit .......
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gargrantuan
Apr 23, 2008, 8:33 PM
Post #14 of 15
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Registered: Apr 1, 2005
Posts: 182
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*yawn*
and i suppose that making a rant on RC.com somehow makes your opinion mean something?
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lostcause
Apr 23, 2008, 9:08 PM
Post #15 of 15
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Registered: Apr 22, 2004
Posts: 118
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"Well, it's good enough for Steve House"
If you're talking gear isn't that the same as with all sponsored advertising whether it's for a biner or a carton of milk (unless it's condoms sponsored by the late John Holmes of course), but if it didn't work all those sponsor dollars would dry up quick. I'm sure whoever sponsors him loves to hear people saying those exact words.
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