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billcoe_
Sep 11, 2009, 4:38 AM
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LOL, I bet "Downward Bound" is the Bible then. $60 for a used copy of his book would probably get Harding rolling around in his grave.
http://www.amazon.com/...252643649&sr=1-1
Of course, it goes without saying that the Red Wine ceremony will feature prominently I suppose.
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sprayhawk
Sep 11, 2009, 4:46 AM
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red wine will definitely be featured. a spiritual enhancer, if you will. as for the holy text, i was hoping to write my own. i'm all about profiting from religion.
however, i see how the Harding guide cannot be ignored. perhaps it will be the Old Testament and I can write the New.
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el_layclimber
Sep 11, 2009, 5:32 AM
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A bit rough around the edges, but I am down. Please ordain me, so I can start my own sect based on a true interpretation of the words of the prophet.
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i_h8_choss
Sep 11, 2009, 6:02 AM
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Does this mean that bolt ladders will be cool again? Yeah! Praise Harding!
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irregularpanda
Sep 11, 2009, 6:14 AM
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If there's booze I'll be there. Nice Bourbon, good scothces, aw shit harding's religoin got me drunk already
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billl7
Sep 11, 2009, 11:50 AM
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sprayhawk wrote: however, i see how the Harding guide cannot be ignored. perhaps it will be the Old Testament and I can write the New.
First though, we need to all go to Camp Four and climb a little up the rocks around there - although not necessarily each of us at the same time ... just for a little consistency between chapters.
No need to bring bread/wine. The sacred ritual has been established: partake of the tourons coolers and make it look like Mr. Bear did it.
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johnwesely
Sep 11, 2009, 12:03 PM
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billcoe_ wrote: LOL, I bet "Downward Bound" is the Bible then. $60 for a used copy of his book would probably get Harding rolling around in his grave. [image]http://g-ecx.images-amazon.com/images/G/01/ciu/c1/0c/e73fc6da8da0852ef5042110.L._SL500_AA240_.jpg[/image] http://www.amazon.com/...252643649&sr=1-1 Of course, it goes without saying that the Red Wine ceremony will feature prominently I suppose.
They have downward bound at my school library. Perhaps a chance for profit?
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Lazlo
Sep 11, 2009, 12:34 PM
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Hardism wrote: Who knows if this quote is real? But then again, who cares? This is religion, not reality |
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Lazlo
Sep 11, 2009, 12:36 PM
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In reply to: Amen. Oh and I was thinking that all Hardists should have a memorable greeting for fellow Hardists. It could go like this: Greeter: Get Hard! Responder: That’s what she said! Please let me know if you have any ideas to improve this. I could easily write you into the Holy text as a disciple or an archangel. |
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swoopee
Sep 11, 2009, 12:49 PM
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Count me in.
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rainman0915
Sep 11, 2009, 3:00 PM
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im in, do you think you could hook me up with some sort of divine position?
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dingus
Sep 11, 2009, 3:04 PM
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Who will conduct the 'Face First in the Fire" Ceremony?
I wanna SEE THAT!
DMT
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Bag11s
Sep 11, 2009, 4:12 PM
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Hardist Order Seeks Apprentice Acolytes!
Does life hold little meaning?
Are you feeling alone and in distress?
Do you seek deliverance from timidity?
Dismayed by you own mediocrity?
Are you jonesing for proud entry to a shining future?
Established religious order seeks lost souls searching for redemption.
Be the first in your neighborhood to sign up & put aside your moral soul.
Initiates will be initiated into the mysteries of the Hard, including:
The transformational gratification of the Full Lunar Red Wine ritual
The unabashed elimination of guilt for your bolting debaucheries
Suspension between Madness & Badness 101
Make yourself proud, come on down! Experience the experience.
Face Plant Today!
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sprayhawk
Sep 11, 2009, 5:13 PM
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el_layclimber wrote: A bit rough around the edges, but I am down. Please ordain me, so I can start my own sect based on a true interpretation of the words of the prophet.
I smell dissent! Looks like Church of England, redux...
Ooh I hope there's a Holy War. I'll be wearing full black and wielding a piton hammer.
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sprayhawk
Sep 11, 2009, 5:26 PM
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All rise for the honorable Bag11s!
Holy Captain, mother of granite.
Bring us infinite cracks and adventures.
Holy Harding, father of the vertical.
Bring us endless wine and bolts.
I hereby ordain Bag11s as a disciple of Hardism.
Amen.
Get Hard!
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Bag11s
Sep 11, 2009, 6:58 PM
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Registered: May 8, 2009
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Ordination- OMG! This worthless one must needs offer up a solemn prayer-
Sweet Mother of Granite, this undeserving supplicant begs your infinite mercy and guidance as he begins his journey- crimp crimp high step by hesitant crimp crimp high step- up the soaring tower of your fecundity. Protect me within the refuge of your prophet’s radical hardnesses. Smile upon me with your warmth and nurture me with the sacred juice of your most succulent fruit. Lead me not into temptation, but free me from all wussness. O Father of the Vertical, when I walk through the Valley in the shadow of doubts, leave me not to my fears, but deliver me the strength to persevere until the utter end. I entrust my soul to you, O Father, in the sure knowledge that you will fortify me, toughen me, and lead me to ultimate control over the Achilles’ heal of pansy-ass goodiness. In wine and bolts we trust. All praise the venerable Warren Harding.
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dingus
Sep 11, 2009, 7:13 PM
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BURP! ('So be it" in Hardism)
DMT
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Lazlo
Sep 12, 2009, 6:54 PM
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sprayhawk wrote: All rise for the honorable Bag11s! Holy Captain, mother of granite. Bring us infinite cracks and adventures. Holy Harding, father of the vertical. Bring us endless wine and bolts. I hereby ordain Bag11s as a disciple of Hardism. Amen. Get Hard!
That's what she said
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