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rainvine
Feb 7, 2005, 2:11 AM
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Okay, so I go to Mountain Equiptment Co Op to buy myself some climbing gear...more important some good climbing shoes.
I'm 5'10, and am on the chubby side but I'm solid. I am slowly losing weight and have already lost 30.
So... I'm there and ask for some help. The guy acts like I'm asking him to dance or something. I've got lots of cash in my pocket and he's being totally weird. I'm fine with myself and know that I'm not the typical body type for a climber, but I'll never get there if I don't keep doing the sports that I love. I love to climb and I'm also training for a marathon.
Why is it that climbing can seem so elitist? Or why does it seems that some men are so stereotypical/egotistical about women and weight. Okay okay...I know just stick with me for one more minute...
Anyways, then the guy says.... maybe you should take up hiking or jogging instead of rockclimbing because it will be easier on your body. !!!!!!!!!! Needless to say I wanted to bust his face.
SOOOOoooo...to make a long story short... that was about 6 months before I got married and moved to England. Now I'm going back to Edmonton, AB and I want to start climbing again. I had a pair of shoes a friend gave me... but I want all my own stuff.
I guess really this was just a rant that was a long time coming... If anyone one else has had problems with this sorta thing I'd love to hear about it.
- Alyssa
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maculated
Feb 7, 2005, 2:43 AM
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When I first started getting into climbing, I thought people were pretty elitist, too. When I went into the local gear shop for help, they were totally patronizing. Now they are all my buddies (granted, totally new employees since then).
I think like any sport or hobby, you get respect for knowing your stuff, and people in positions of "power" (ie, those who know more than you) can sometimes slip into this elitism. Tell them to screw off. Running is way worse on your body, you can ask my crackling knees.
And if I hear any more comments about my big guns, I'll kill you all. :)
Point is, don't let one chump stop you.
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slobmonster
Feb 7, 2005, 4:00 AM
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In reply to: Point is, don't let one chump stop you.
Next time someone who is getting paid to help you pulls such BS, find the manager, be calm yet furious, and help someone along on their career path.
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kathy
Feb 7, 2005, 9:48 AM
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In reply to: Next time someone who is getting paid to help you pulls such BS, find the manager, be calm yet furious, and help someone along on their career path.
My thoughts EXACTLY.
I would also insist with the manager on some kind of discount to stop me taking my business, and my cash, somewhere else where i would be treated with respect. :)
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rainvine
Feb 7, 2005, 1:24 PM
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Sad thing was..... that guy WAS the MANAGER!!! Needless to say I didn't buy anthing from that store.
As far as the running thing. My knees and body seem to like running and I've not had any pain or problems except for the first few days when I started. I've been very careful with my body so as not to wreck myself. I'm only young still (23) so my body seems to be pretty quick to adjust.
Going back to the whole "buying gear" fiasco.... I wasn't intimadated, just really cheesed off. I went back with a friend of mine who is a climber and that same guy was totally all over her wanting to sell her stuff. I stayed out of sight and just watched. Then as he was in mid suck up mode I walked over. She told him that she will no longer buy from his store and that the last pair of shoes I had, she had given to me. She also said, "My friend is learning to climb better and faster than I ever did when I first started and just because she doesn't look like a climber it doesn't mean that she will never get there."
I thought that was totally cool of her to come help me and thought it was way cool that she felt that way about me. When she heard how I was so badly treated at a store she would often frequent and a store that she had personally sent me to... she wanted to go make a scene!
So now...I need to find a good store that is helpful and nice....in Edmonton, Alberta..... Maybe I'll have to go down to Calgary for help or check out a few places when I go visit my sister in Vancouver.
Oh well, such is life.
-Alyssa
Perfection comes when you're dead. But Excellence can be achieved everyday.
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wonderwoman
Feb 7, 2005, 2:49 PM
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Wow, Alyssa! Sounds like you and your friend handled the situation very well. Bet the guy didn't see that one coming!
If this guy was just the manager, I would consider letting the owner know about how this guy treated you.
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kathy
Feb 7, 2005, 3:34 PM
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GREAT .. must have been a great laugh!! would have loved to see his face!!!
Kudos to you and your mate!!
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rainvine
Feb 7, 2005, 11:55 PM
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sorry double post
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rainvine
Feb 7, 2005, 11:56 PM
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Ya, it felt good then but it kinda still annoys me. We did try to get in contact with the owner but we were told that he was away on business. We also wrote a couple letters but never got a reply and last thing I knew that guy was still working there as the Manager. Maybe he's related to the owner or something. Who know!
Thanks for the support though, it's always nice to vent frusterations and be heard. *smiles*
-Alyssa
So two guys were climbing and one guy said to the other guy, "Hey, you look like a typerwriter."
Sorry that joke always gets lost in translation you should hear it in Hebrew!
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seagypsy
Feb 17, 2005, 8:34 AM
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Ok I don't want to come off as all guys are jerks...there are alot of super great evolved fellas out there! But this is a patriarchal society. On one hand that was just a dumb store clerk being an ass...on the other hand it was a way to demean you and take away from you as a woman. If you were a guy that would not have been as likely to have happened to you. I am not over weight, I am underweight but it amazes me when a guy will make a comment on my weight in an attenpt to minimize my accomplishment (usually a guy who isn't climbing so hot) Sounds like you handled things with class though!
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rainvine
Feb 17, 2005, 1:02 PM
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This may sounds way to "new age" for some people but I've come to realize that it's not really a male or female thing. It's not a weight thing. What really happens when we meet up with someone who tries us or upsets us in some way.... we are coming face to face with the part of ourselves which we don't like. Every person we meet becomes a mirror of what we like or don't like in ourselves. Life is about learning not surviving.
I remember once a time when I was critical of someone I've seen running down the road who "I" thought was too overweight and made a judgement call of them. All of the things we need to change about ourselves are the very things that we see in other people. In terms of that guy I came face to face with who was rude to me and wasn't helpful at all... that really was just a tiny view of the disrespect I have for myself because of my extra weight.
My husband and I just got back from spending Valentines day in France and my husband loves to take pictures. I on the other hand hate having my picture taken. Anyways, the weather was a bit chilly so we were wearing more layers then usual and yesterday when I was looking at our pictures I was getting more and more angry with myself. To myself....I looked like an overweight Yugoslavian bag Lady!!! My husband said that he has never seen me looking more beautiful. Which made me mad because I knew he really meant it and wasn't just saying it to be nice.
So what I really wanted to say was... It doesn't matter how someone treats me, what someone says or thinks about me. It all comes down to how I truly feel about myself. If I truly have love for myself it won't matter what anyone says. AND the only way I know I'm going to have love for myself is by doing those things that I enjoy.
SO I will climb, I will eat fresh veggies and fruit, I will sing like no one can hear me and dance like no one can see me. I will just LIVE life and be happy and who really cares if someone is going through their own garbage and isn't learning from it, we learn everything in our own time- when we are ready to learn it!
Needless to say as I look back on that experience I had with that Manager I am greatful I experienced it. Maybe I am to him that piece of himself which is lazy and inexperienced, which he spends most of his life pretending isn't apart of himself. Who knows! And frankly - WHO CARES?
One last thought:
If you don't love yourself how will you truly be able to love anyone else? I guess I better start loving myself then, eh?
- Alyssa
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mother_sheep
Feb 17, 2005, 11:59 PM
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In reply to: This may sounds way to "new age" for some people but I've come to realize that it's not really a male or female thing. It's not a weight thing. What really happens when we meet up with someone who tries us or upsets us in some way.... we are coming face to face with the part of ourselves which we don't like. Every person we meet becomes a mirror of what we like or don't like in ourselves. Life is about learning not surviving. I remember once a time when I was critical of someone I've seen running down the road who "I" thought was too overweight and made a judgement call of them. All of the things we need to change about ourselves are the very things that we see in other people. In terms of that guy I came face to face with who was rude to me and wasn't helpful at all... that really was just a tiny view of the disrespect I have for myself because of my extra weight. My husband and I just got back from spending Valentines day in France and my husband loves to take pictures. I on the other hand hate having my picture taken. Anyways, the weather was a bit chilly so we were wearing more layers then usual and yesterday when I was looking at our pictures I was getting more and more angry with myself. To myself....I looked like an overweight Yugoslavian bag Lady!!! My husband said that he has never seen me looking more beautiful. Which made me mad because I knew he really meant it and wasn't just saying it to be nice. So what I really wanted to say was... It doesn't matter how someone treats me, what someone says or thinks about me. It all comes down to how I truly feel about myself. If I truly have love for myself it won't matter what anyone says. AND the only way I know I'm going to have love for myself is by doing those things that I enjoy. SO I will climb, I will eat fresh veggies and fruit, I will sing like no one can hear me and dance like no one can see me. I will just LIVE life and be happy and who really cares if someone is going through their own garbage and isn't learning from it, we learn everything in our own time- when we are ready to learn it! Needless to say as I look back on that experience I had with that Manager I am greatful I experienced it. Maybe I am to him that piece of himself which is lazy and inexperienced, which he spends most of his life pretending isn't apart of himself. Who knows! And frankly - WHO CARES? One last thought: If you don't love yourself how will you truly be able to love anyone else? I guess I better start loving myself then, eh? - Alyssa
WOW! Smart cookie!!!! I guess that guy has yet to figure out that having a positive attitude will get you a long way, not the ability to climb hard or look like you climb hard. But good for you for figuring it out!
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usmc_2tothetop
Feb 18, 2005, 4:19 PM
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In reply to: This may sounds way to "new age" for some people but I've come to realize that it's not really a male or female thing. It's not a weight thing. What really happens when we meet up with someone who tries us or upsets us in some way.... we are coming face to face with the part of ourselves which we don't like. Every person we meet becomes a mirror of what we like or don't like in ourselves. Life is about learning not surviving. I remember once a time when I was critical of someone I've seen running down the road who "I" thought was too overweight and made a judgement call of them. All of the things we need to change about ourselves are the very things that we see in other people. In terms of that guy I came face to face with who was rude to me and wasn't helpful at all... that really was just a tiny view of the disrespect I have for myself because of my extra weight. My husband and I just got back from spending Valentines day in France and my husband loves to take pictures. I on the other hand hate having my picture taken. Anyways, the weather was a bit chilly so we were wearing more layers then usual and yesterday when I was looking at our pictures I was getting more and more angry with myself. To myself....I looked like an overweight Yugoslavian bag Lady!!! My husband said that he has never seen me looking more beautiful. Which made me mad because I knew he really meant it and wasn't just saying it to be nice. So what I really wanted to say was... It doesn't matter how someone treats me, what someone says or thinks about me. It all comes down to how I truly feel about myself. If I truly have love for myself it won't matter what anyone says. AND the only way I know I'm going to have love for myself is by doing those things that I enjoy. SO I will climb, I will eat fresh veggies and fruit, I will sing like no one can hear me and dance like no one can see me. I will just LIVE life and be happy and who really cares if someone is going through their own garbage and isn't learning from it, we learn everything in our own time- when we are ready to learn it! Needless to say as I look back on that experience I had with that Manager I am greatful I experienced it. Maybe I am to him that piece of himself which is lazy and inexperienced, which he spends most of his life pretending isn't apart of himself. Who knows! And frankly - WHO CARES? One last thought: If you don't love yourself how will you truly be able to love anyone else? I guess I better start loving myself then, eh? - Alyssa
Rainv.......You rock. You have such a great open mind. I admire your intuition. I would put my 2 cents in but I totally agree with your words. :wink: 8^)
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winter
Feb 18, 2005, 5:55 PM
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I don't know about shops in Edmonton, but I also try to stear clear of the co-op, the guys in the climbing department there often leave something to be desired in terms of service. Try Wicked Gravity in Calgary if you're down.
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bad_lil_kitty
Feb 18, 2005, 9:02 PM
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Woozer! :shock: :shock: :shock:
I am sitting here in utter disbelief! Alyssa, I am very sorry that you had a run in w/ "morty the moron" in your quest to find climbing shoes. Good for your friend for supporting you and having a word w/ morty! And congrats on losing 30 lbs and counting!!! And furthermore, congrats on not letting morty disuade you in climbing.
Keep up the positive outlook and climbing :)
blk aka jen
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catkins
Feb 25, 2005, 8:50 PM
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Hi Alyssa - I know what you mean about people making assumptions about how good you can climb and your size - you wouldn't see me walking down the street (or even at the rock face or climbing gym) and think 'hey's she's probably an ok climber' - in fact recently I went climbing with a girlfiend and one of her friends who after a while turned to me and said ' you're quite good really aren't you'. gee thanks!
anyhow - i bought all my gear at urban rock in the castle climbing centre in stoke newington in london and the guys there were great, really helpful and patience with my dithering about which shoes to get - tried two different pairs on several times in one afternoon, and same when buying a harness - so if you are still in the uk and looking for shoes etc i can't recommend there enough..
good luck
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angelaa
Feb 25, 2005, 11:09 PM
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I (was, am still) in the same boat as you!
I am a big girl and I have (almost) come to terms with it.
I'd love to be a different body type, but that just doesn't work for me . . the more I hike the bigger my thighs get and the more I lift (even though I am only lifting what I should to 'tone') the bigger my shoulders get!
I was actually asked to become an amature body builder in college - eww :?
Anyway I teach rock climbing and at the beginning of every class I see my students analyze & judge me. When I go out somewhere popular to climb I get the looks and snickers . . . it used to get to me, but over the years I have climbed harder, higher and more then most of those people who think I am not built to climb.
I think people who really know how to climb know that EVERY body type can climb. . . its a spiritual thing . . . not a physical thing
good luck - and it sounds like your husband LOVES you - take it from me . . . wallow in it ! Nothing is better than unconditional love!
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crackrn
Feb 26, 2005, 1:11 AM
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I lovelovelove that your friend set that jackass up and called him on his crapl It's too bad that the owner never got in touch with you...some people just don't know about the internet and how fast one wronged customer can spread the word, heehee!
You seem to have a fabulous attitude...keep climbing, sistah!
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rainvine
Feb 28, 2005, 9:59 AM
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I love how supportive everyone is in here!!! *big hugs to everyone*
Today is monday and on wednesday morning we are flying out to Canada! It will be so good to be home again. AND TO find some good outdoor climbs. I've been living in Essex of all places while I've been here in England. Long story...anyways I'm so psyched that so many of you can sympathize with me. I am very chesty....38E...to be exact, which looks good on my frame, but as a climber? Oh well to heck with those stereotypes it's not like we are so heavy we are going to wreck the rocks for everyone else. I think fat is decieving because there are alot more healthy people with a bit of extra weight on them then their are skinny people with no fat. It's all about acid. The diets we all eat these days are quite acidic- we should all try to eat a more alkaline diet- but if you are carrying extra weight the acid goes to your fat. Acid goes to the weakest part of the body. That's why you'll hear of really fit people all of a sudden dying of a heart attack or something crazy like that. ANYWAYS....eat lots of greens and ignore all those people who think you are too big. Too big to climb is like to small to swim....with our extra weight we'll float better! *lol*
Gimme a BreaK!
Live with Passion
-Alyssa
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ecocliffchick
Feb 28, 2005, 2:20 PM
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Some of the employees at MEC really need to get fired. Just last week I stopped in to try on some new shoes and my boyfriend overheard an employee explaining to a new climber that after 4 or 5 falls he'd have to retire his rope (and we're not talking factor 2 lead falls, just any old fall). If that was the case, I'd be buying five hundred ropes a season.
Ignore the comments of the morons behind the desk and demand the goods you are after. I find quality control in climbing shoes to be lacking, so I like to try on several pairs of the same size of shoe and pick the ones that fit the best. I love the look on the employees faces when I ask for six pairs of Anasazi Velcros in size 7.5, try them all on, alternate different left and right shoes, and make myself a pair that fit me.
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rainvine
Mar 12, 2005, 8:23 PM
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Good to hear it!!! I'm in BC right now at my parents and my husband and I are heading to Edmonton on Tuesday. We'll be passing through Jasper and it will be hard not to stop and climb. Hopefully once I get to Edmonton I'll find a good place to get some new shoes and gear. Any suggestions for Edmonton??? I plan on building a wall at home once we buy a house in a few months I find it so much easier to climb when I'm not being watched by nosey know it alls.
Happy Climbing!!!
- Alyssa
P.S. I just met up with an old friend and she wants to start climbing so it looks like I'll be getting a girl climbing buddy. YAY!!!
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adnix
Mar 13, 2005, 6:53 AM
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In reply to: Wow, Alyssa! Sounds like you and your friend handled the situation very well. Bet the guy didn't see that one coming!
Sorry if this made someone feel bad. But I had to bring the other perspective into this discussion.
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cracklover
Mar 15, 2005, 12:14 AM
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In reply to: In reply to: Wow, Alyssa! Sounds like you and your friend handled the situation very well. Bet the guy didn't see that one coming! I don't think he was too much bothered. Men don't reason the same paths women reason. I would bet my money on the weight issue not being sex related btw. Women just handle such "defeat" differently, since weight is a tabu for most women. Sorry if this made someone feel bad. But I had to bring the other perspective into this discussion.
I suppose that if he is a complete and utter jerk, then you might be right, adnix. But most guys would be mortified getting caught being pigs and called to the carpet for it.
My gf and I first met years ago, when we were working at the same company. She was about 40 lbs heavier than she is now. She had kind of a crush on me, but she was shy, and I didn't really notice her at the time. She left the job after a short time there, and we didn't meet again for three years.
Then several years later, when both of us were at a different place in our lives, we met again. I didn't recognize her, but there was definitely a little spark. When I found out about the fact that I had ignored her all those years ago I was totally embarrassed. She knows she can still embarrass me in front of new friends by telling them "our story." :oops: :lol:
So yes - any guy can be piggish, but only a real asshole will be proud of it.
GO
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wonderwoman
Mar 15, 2005, 5:44 PM
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In reply to: Women just handle such "defeat" differently, since weight is a tabu for most women.
I guess that I don't understand what you mean by 'defeat'. The guy treated her poorly and gave her unsolicited advice on her outdoor activities based on no knowledge of her interests or athletic performance whatsoever. Sounds like a bad sales person to me.
And if he still wasn't bothered after being confronted, then he probably will never 'get it' and I feel sorry for him (and the store that will likely lose sales due to incompetent staff).
So I would say that it was HIS issue, and not rainvine's. No one was defeated here, but someone was definately acting like a jerk and got called out on it.
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rainvine
Mar 19, 2005, 6:12 PM
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Yes men do reason differently then women but give me a break some men are just jerks. That guy in that situation....just for more info... I met two of his ex-gf's when I was climbing later. They are best friends now. This guy was mentally and emotionally abusive to both of them. I guess they became friends in a kinda "group therapy".....like, "Hi, my name is so and so and I once had a conversation with Mike (This isn't his real name)...and it's been two weeks now since I didn't talk to anyone about how he was a total jerk! *lol*
ANYWAYS.... Sure some guys just don't realize they are jerks but it doesn't stop them from being a jerk. And most guys who don't care if they might have been a jerk or not, usually are the biggest jerks of them all.
Happy Climbing
- Alyssa
P.S. This guy thinks he's a really good climber and is constantly talking about how women shouldn't climb. I think he's defineatly in the BIG JERK class.
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