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fmd
Jul 7, 2006, 2:36 PM
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In reply to: In reply to: Don't ask another person to do, what you're not willing to do yourself... To fully understand the meaning of this word COMPROMISE, I'll put it into the realms of sexual fantasy -- Pretty much every guy fantasizes about his wife or gf bringing home her best hottie friend, and going at it while we watch or take pictures, but are YOU first ready to bring your buddy home and do the same to him, while she kicks back w/ a camera..? Why'd you have to go and say that... I lost my appetite half way through my ham sammich :?
Thats just wrong.......................NO CLASS..........
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epoch
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Jul 7, 2006, 2:39 PM
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While I somewhat agree with what tgreen said, I also agree with others in this post.
My story: When my wife and I started dating there were periods where I would dissappear for 4-6 months at a time. All this time was spent away sans phone and most communication. We had email, but that was here then gone then here then gone. We spent on average 9 - 10 months apart per year for the first three years of our relationship. All the while growing stonger as a couple.
In my opinion, I'd go in the direction that was planned first. If this trip is spur of the moment then you should stay. Now, if you have been planning this trip for a few months, then you should go on this trip. Even if you knew that she was leaving two weeks after you got back.
If she wants to be with you, she'll be with you. If she hasn't matured enough to realize that you have a life too, and need to have some fun as well... ... then maybe the relationship isn't really worth it. Two weeks is more than enough time to come together as a couple, especially if you stay within each other's sight. My wife knows that she'd get dropped in the back seat if I were able to take a trip of a lifetime. But that is my relationship, and how things work for me. You should figure out with your girl how she feels about it. I'm sure that she is becoming jealous of your climbing and the amount of time you devote to it. Have a talk, see how she feels, explain to her how important this trip is to you, and you should be in the clear.
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lena_chita
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Jul 7, 2006, 2:43 PM
Post #53 of 132
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Well, it's been chewed to bits already, but I'll add one more:
Is this indicative of how your future relationship will look? Are you going to be forewer deciding between spending time with her, and going climbing?
Something to think about... I'd say, have a serious talk with HER about it, instead of asking for the opinions here. Ask ker how she sees your life together. Maybe you aren't all that compatible to begin with.
I seriously would not be able to cope if my DH was going away doing fun stuff for weeks at a time and leaving me behind. it's one thing when you have to be apart for months b/c of the work or school commitment (we've done it), and it is different when you CHOOSE to go away to have fun rather than stay and have fun with her.
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flipnfall
Jul 7, 2006, 2:47 PM
Post #54 of 132
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In reply to: Well, it's been chewed to bits already, but I'll add one more: Is this indicative of how your future relationship will look? Are you going to be forewer deciding between spending time with her, and going climbing? Something to think about... I'd say, have a serious talk with HER about it, instead of asking for the opinions here. Ask ker how she sees your life together. Maybe you aren't all that compatible to begin with. I seriously would not be able to cope if my DH was going away doing fun stuff for weeks at a time and leaving me behind. it's one thing when you have to be apart for months b/c of the work or school commitment (we've done it), and it is different when you CHOOSE to go away to have fun rather than stay and have fun with her.
This is a good point. If you're going to want to continue taking trips and not spending the time that she wants to spend with you, it's not fair to her to continue the relationship. You have to think about more than just yourself on this one.
Good point!
GT
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dingus
Jul 7, 2006, 2:49 PM
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In reply to: The sad thing is, I don't believe that most of you have taken time to clearly read the OP.
That's FUNNY!
DMT
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tgreene
Jul 7, 2006, 2:51 PM
Post #56 of 132
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In reply to: In reply to: In reply to: Don't ask another person to do, what you're not willing to do yourself... To fully understand the meaning of this word COMPROMISE, I'll put it into the realms of sexual fantasy -- Pretty much every guy fantasizes about his wife or gf bringing home her best hottie friend, and going at it while we watch or take pictures, but are YOU first ready to bring your buddy home and do the same to him, while she kicks back w/ a camera..? Why'd you have to go and say that... I lost my appetite half way through my ham sammich :? Thats just wrong.......................NO CLASS.......... |
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dingus
Jul 7, 2006, 2:52 PM
Post #57 of 132
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In reply to: Rather than taking your 6 week climbing trip, use that time and money to take HER on a cruise, before she ships off to school,
That's gay. A cruise. She'll have him waxing his legs and putting hot stones on his eyeballs and before its all done he'll be painting her toenails too.
Its the BUGS MAN!!!!1111 There are lots of girls, but you only have one youth and you don't get it back, ever.
DMT
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macherry
Jul 7, 2006, 2:56 PM
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sack up and stop asking questions that you already know the answer to.
is this the ladie's room?
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svilnit
Jul 7, 2006, 3:05 PM
Post #59 of 132
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In reply to: In reply to: In reply to: In reply to: Don't ask another person to do, what you're not willing to do yourself... To fully understand the meaning of this word COMPROMISE, I'll put it into the realms of sexual fantasy -- Pretty much every guy fantasizes about his wife or gf bringing home her best hottie friend, and going at it while we watch or take pictures, but are YOU first ready to bring your buddy home and do the same to him, while she kicks back w/ a camera..? Why'd you have to go and say that... I lost my appetite half way through my ham sammich :? Thats just wrong.......................NO CLASS.......... No s---, he should have opted for a Turkey Club! :lol:
Yeah, but that has bacon... too much of that and I'll be an aid climber ;)
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dingus
Jul 7, 2006, 3:06 PM
Post #60 of 132
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A man is on one of those singles cruises and as luck would have it the ship hits a reef and sinks. Our hero is left on a desert island with 6 beautiful women and a lot of good climbing.
Paradise, wouldn't you say???
Now at first our hero wanted it all, 24/7. He dated all the women and climbed most every day. And all was at peace in paradise.
But he couldn't stay the course, he simply lacked the endurance. He needed some recovery time.
So rather quickly an arrangement evolved. One day each week he spent with one of the women and on Sunday he went climbing.
Now at first his Sunday's seemed rather boring by comparison. Oh he'd boulder and he was very good, but all he could think about were the women.
But soon enough he came to anticipate his Sundays, to value them. By the time he got to Sunday he was so wiped out from the 6 women he could barely pull down! Climbing became his refuge, his sole escape from the pressures of the world.
Till finally the unbelievable, even to him... each day and night for 6 days a week, no matter what position or weird activiity he found himself engaged in, all he could think about was Sunday, about climbing.
Then one morning they spotted a rescue ship off the coast. As luck would have it, the ship struck the same reef and sank before their eyes. As the bow slid beneath the water they could see the sole survivor swimming to shore. She was a beautiful woman.
"SHIT! There goes my Sundays!" Was all our hero had to say.
DMT
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flipnfall
Jul 7, 2006, 3:10 PM
Post #61 of 132
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In reply to: sack up and stop asking questions that you already know the answer to. is this the ladie's room?
LOL! I'm a married man, I know what you mean. :lol:
Asking when you don't really want an answer.
Guys are wired so different.
WARNING: OVER SERIOUS RESPONSE
I still think he should weigh the realities. Right now she's about as supportive of his climbing as she's going to get. Once he's more involved / married (assuming the relationship could go there), she's going to stop the dating act that we all go through, change big time on him and demand even more of his time. Is he ready for this?
We guys need to consider what the women we are dating want and need. It's unfair to her to think that she'll change (to his desires) once the relationship deepens.
In fact whatever neediness you have now will only increase with a deepening of the relationship. It's how we feel supported and loved for who we are. It's how we interpret that the relationship is "deepening". Women who want gifts, want more to feel that the relationship has deepened; Guys who want recreation partners want it more to feel that the relationship has deepened, etc.
He's going to want her to support his climbing MORE in order to feel valued in the relationship. She's obviously going to want MORE time to feel loved. That seems to be how she interprets love. Not all women are like this, but it sounds like her gig. If that's what she wants and if he's not wanting that, he should move on. If that's the relationship he's ready for, he should drop the trip and dive head first. If he stays, he's telling her that he's willing to give her what she wants and she's going to hold him to it.
GT
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jdouble
Jul 7, 2006, 3:22 PM
Post #62 of 132
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In reply to: i'd stay with the girl if i were you.....the bugaboos are tough and you sound like a puss.
Trophy, trophy, trophy.............can I give more than one at a time?
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dalguard
Jul 7, 2006, 3:24 PM
Post #63 of 132
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It sounded to me like maybe he actually wanted to spend time with her. You know. He loves her. Sex. Maybe she's cute even.
I'd try to reschedule or abbreviate the trip or try again on getting her to go with you if you agree to spend x days a week with her instead of climbing. You need rest days, right? You know. Sex.
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bill413
Jul 7, 2006, 3:50 PM
Post #64 of 132
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In reply to: In reply to: sack up and stop asking questions that you already know the answer to. is this the ladie's room? LOL! I'm a married man, I know what you mean. :lol: Asking when you don't really want an answer. Guys are wired so different. WARNING: OVER SERIOUS RESPONSE I still think he should weigh the realities. Right now she's about as supportive of his climbing as she's going to get. Once he's more involved / married (assuming the relationship could go there), she's going to stop the dating act that we all go through, change big time on him and demand even more of his time. Is he ready for this? We guys need to consider what the women we are dating want and need. It's unfair to her to think that she'll change (to his desires) once the relationship deepens. In fact whatever neediness you have now will only increase with a deepening of the relationship. It's how we feel supported and loved for who we are. It's how we interpret that the relationship is "deepening". Women who want gifts, want more to feel that the relationship has deepened; Guys who want recreation partners want it more to feel that the relationship has deepened, etc. He's going to want her to support his climbing MORE in order to feel valued in the relationship. She's obviously going to want MORE time to feel loved. That seems to be how she interprets love. Not all women are like this, but it sounds like her gig. If that's what she wants and if he's not wanting that, he should move on. If that's the relationship he's ready for, he should drop the trip and dive head first. If he stays, he's telling her that he's willing to give her what she wants and she's going to hold him to it. GT |
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wonderwoman
Jul 7, 2006, 4:14 PM
Post #65 of 132
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If the bugaboos are a once in a lifetime experience, you will resent her if you do not go. And if she gets upset about this trip, what about future trips?
I don't know how old you are or how serious your relationship is. But what I do know is that you only live once, so have as many adventures as possible. If your relationship is meant to be then your last two weeks together will rock, and you will be so happy to see eachother in 3 months! And I would think that you would want to be with someone who is supportive of your dreams and goals as much as you should be supportive of hers.
Tough situation, but you will figure it out!
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curtis_g
Jul 7, 2006, 4:19 PM
Post #66 of 132
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In reply to: If she is nagging you not to go climbing, there are more serious issues in the relationship. In this case, you should go. She wants to control and change you. If, on the other hand, she is the type of girlfriend who wants you to do what you love and is saying, "go climbing", she's a keeper. Stay with her and climb another time.
a very insightful first post
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krusher4
Jul 7, 2006, 4:57 PM
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Maybe you will meet your soul mate on this trip? A hard cranking bugs climber.....
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sketch_line
Jul 7, 2006, 5:07 PM
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This is why I've vowed never to date another girl who doesn't climb.
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svilnit
Jul 7, 2006, 5:16 PM
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In reply to: This is why I've vowed never to date another girl who doesn't climb.
It's sooooo nice when you find one though. I actually met my current girlfriend while climbing, it just makes it so much easier to justify taking a week long trip to play on the rocks.
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jumpingrock
Jul 7, 2006, 5:24 PM
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Ok.
First off, I imagine you are aware that you can only camp for 14 days in the bugaboos. I doubt that you really care much about that though. After bat hooks on a sport route I can't imagine something like a little camping restriction would hold you back.
Second, you must also be aware that you will never get 6 weeks of good weather in the bugaboos. If you actually love this girl, you will be able to work something out. The hike and drive are long, but you can definitely hike out and go meet your chick if you are actually interested in compromise.
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vinzoni
Jul 7, 2006, 5:40 PM
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no spell check....
set a precedent. the relationship needs a basis, goals, that it revolves around. if climbing is central to your life, then your life will revolve around it, and so should the relationship. priorities lined up, the plans unfold from there.
opinion: if it's right, she will go with you, or stay and understand. not ask you to cancel.
opinion: i wouldn't want a relationship where my lady wasn't as psyched about climbing as i was. that would be tough....
possibility: maybe she could bring a pal (sister, friend) and they could do their own climbing or outdoor adventure while you kick some ass. then you could meet at some point and hang out.
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tgreene
Jul 7, 2006, 5:42 PM
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You could always just dig a deep pit in your basement, assuring that she will in fact be there upon your return! :twisted:
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flipnfall
Jul 7, 2006, 5:45 PM
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In reply to: You could always just dig a deep pit in your basement, assuring that she will in fact be there upon your return! :twisted:
"It wears the lotion on its skin."
"I ate his liver with a nice chianti. sthu, sthu, sthu!"
OK, I'm creeping myself out! :shock:
GT
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climbxclimb
Jul 7, 2006, 7:09 PM
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Definitely Climbing!!!!!
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epoch
Moderator
Jul 7, 2006, 7:17 PM
Post #75 of 132
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In reply to: A man is on one of those singles cruises and as luck would have it the ship hits a reef and sinks. Our hero is left on a desert island with 6 beautiful women and a lot of good climbing. Paradise, wouldn't you say??? Now at first our hero wanted it all, 24/7. He dated all the women and climbed most every day. And all was at peace in paradise. But he couldn't stay the course, he simply lacked the endurance. He needed some recovery time. So rather quickly an arrangement evolved. One day each week he spent with one of the women and on Sunday he went climbing. Now at first his Sunday's seemed rather boring by comparison. Oh he'd boulder and he was very good, but all he could think about were the women. But soon enough he came to anticipate his Sundays, to value them. By the time he got to Sunday he was so wiped out from the 6 women he could barely pull down! Climbing became his refuge, his sole escape from the pressures of the world. Till finally the unbelievable, even to him... each day and night for 6 days a week, no matter what position or weird activiity he found himself engaged in, all he could think about was Sunday, about climbing. Then one morning they spotted a rescue ship off the coast. As luck would have it, the ship struck the same reef and sank before their eyes. As the bow slid beneath the water they could see the sole survivor swimming to shore. She was a beautiful woman. "s---! There goes my Sundays!" Was all our hero had to say. DMT
Quoted so that it could be read again. Good story, great moral ending...
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