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spikeddem
Oct 8, 2010, 3:02 PM
Post #26 of 41
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skiclimb wrote: OK want the straight dope?
I figger it's impossible for a correct answer to follow that.
In reply to: you have a successful business that will grow. Don't even think of allowing ANYTHING to get in the way of that. Not SCHOOL NOT A GIRL There is no better life available than being your own boss financially.
Debatable. Mostly cuz I don't see how owning a business correlates to being your own boss financially. The real point I'd like to get across is not that you shouldn't let school get in the way of a successful business, but rather that you shouldn't let academics get in the way of a successful time at school.
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majid_sabet
Oct 8, 2010, 4:18 PM
Post #27 of 41
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we are not just climbers but also social workers and life advisers. Dump her, take the money and go enjoy it cause you got one life and you can't never be 20 again.
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majid_sabet
Oct 8, 2010, 4:24 PM
Post #28 of 41
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whipper wrote: Ditch her, Ditch school, go climb. The world is gonna end on 2012, then you would feel like a dumbass worrying about "your future" I live for today, and have never regretted one
its easy to say but some people do not have the title to their ball* and do not ever underestimate the power of pu**y and what it can do to some one's future
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skiclimb
Oct 8, 2010, 5:45 PM
Post #29 of 41
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majid_sabet wrote: whipper wrote: Ditch her, Ditch school, go climb. The world is gonna end on 2012, then you would feel like a dumbass worrying about "your future" I live for today, and have never regretted one its easy to say but some people do not have the title to their ball* and do not ever underestimate the power of pu**y and what it can do to some one's future
rofl.. is this really majid?
I want a diagram!
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kachoong
Oct 8, 2010, 5:51 PM
Post #30 of 41
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majid_sabet wrote: whipper wrote: Ditch her, Ditch school, go climb. The world is gonna end on 2012, then you would feel like a dumbass worrying about "your future" I live for today, and have never regretted one its easy to say but some people do not have the title to their ball* and do not ever underestimate the power of pu**y and what it can do to some one's future
It's OK majid to write pussy... we're not gonna hate on you, mate.
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csproul
Oct 8, 2010, 5:57 PM
Post #31 of 41
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kachoong wrote: majid_sabet wrote: whipper wrote: Ditch her, Ditch school, go climb. The world is gonna end on 2012, then you would feel like a dumbass worrying about "your future" I live for today, and have never regretted one its easy to say but some people do not have the title to their ball* and do not ever underestimate the power of pu**y and what it can do to some one's future It's OK majid to write pussy... we're not gonna hate on you, mate.
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boymeetsrock
Oct 8, 2010, 6:10 PM
Post #32 of 41
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csproul wrote: kachoong wrote: majid_sabet wrote: whipper wrote: Ditch her, Ditch school, go climb. The world is gonna end on 2012, then you would feel like a dumbass worrying about "your future" I live for today, and have never regretted one its easy to say but some people do not have the title to their ball* and do not ever underestimate the power of pu**y and what it can do to some one's future It's OK majid to write pussy... we're not gonna hate on you, mate. What about balls?
It's OK to write balls, but not OK to cup them.
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leyton
Oct 11, 2010, 3:39 AM
Post #33 of 41
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WOw yes is tough.
I am 27, Been married, and engaged to do it all over again..
I think what you have built up, sure its alot of asset, hard work etc.. and your climbing lifestyle is working for you well.
But you do not take any of it to your grave, sounds morbid yeah.
Committing life with someone is scary, very scary. At the end of the day what weigh's on your heart more. And if its climbing, then so be. But also... share your heart to your girlfriend on this one, I do not see why you can not still climb and marry her :)
I sold my YZF-R6 to Marry the love of my life, Yep all over again. I think, stay passionate about what brings you joy, without that passion, without being you, well.... doh.. guess what I am saying is. Don't change your heart, because that's mighty important in relating to each other.
You may have to give up a little climbing for your partner, but if that's on your heart its easy to do.
As for all your gear, it could be gone tomorrow because some theif, you can buy it all back with money and a little time. But you cant buy back the love of your life.
If she is the one, should would not change you or stop you from climbing. Probably be a little jealous over competing for time hehe, but think about how you would be to give that up.
I have given up alot to be with my wifey to be (22nd Jan), but the rewards are much greater than what one can see and touch in this world.
Good on you dude!
Leyton
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leyton
Oct 11, 2010, 4:00 AM
Post #34 of 41
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gobennyjo wrote: So back to all the relationship stuff, I’ve been planning on marrying her for well two years now. That is why I have worked so hard, to be ready for those responsibilities.
Woah, your taking it far to seriously :P hehe Marriage is not based on money dude, that mindset can destroy marriages.
But how do you know this without being married, well you don't? It's a big adventure :)
As for your schooling, well.. To be perfectly honest, whilst its important...
Scenario this... If you don't have the heart for school right now and the passion for adventure... And you choose School, how much better off will you be ??.. perhaps 10 years later you might regret going to school. Or you might choose adventure now, then regret not going to school ??.
You must follow your heart to be happy.
On the other hand, school whilst working, whilst married is difficult but not impossible. Getting married is not a milestone, its the journey. You do not have to give up your personality, what makes you, well you.. to please your partner.. because it really wont.. and will never work that way. You need to be free in a marriage, and the only way to do that is to share your heart %100 with your partner, in all open honesty, everything, even if you think what you are going to communicate will cause conflict, choose your words carefully, express lovingly, express what is deepest on your heart.
Complete life with a full heart, Life is too short to muck around not doing stuff, or making non heart felt decisions. Yes its hard to make decisions based on your feelings because you just don't know. If you have a faith, pray on it. If you archeve the same result by climbing, climb on it.
Like everyone has said, You are Young. You have plenty of time.
But only to an extent and on the basis that you are young being that you actually have just more choices.
You have not made too much yet in your life time. Dispite all your success's finantialy, accidemicly, and in business.
Choose with your heart, and any choice is not wrong. Or choose not to choose.. , ease the pressure off yourself.
I can see how the random gal in the library might have got your thinking. It sounds to me like you just am really busting for a change.
My guess is that married to you represents cementing your self into a life sentence where you will stop enjoying the good life.
IMO It should never be like that :), As another said, a good marriage is where you have found yourself, and your partner is more complimentary. You have a lot to offer each other in a marriage if that is the case and you are strengthened not weakened.
Summary :
If you are a complimentary couple
Communication between you is open, honest and %100 full without fear of heartfelt expression.
Share similar life goals
GO FOR IT!!
And do not be ashamed to seek pre marital counciling. It only opens up more intimacy between you and your partner, and think of her as your very best friend :)
Applogies if none of this makes too much sense, writing in such a tiny window hehehe
(This post was edited by leyton on Oct 11, 2010, 4:09 AM)
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pdpcardsfan
Oct 11, 2010, 4:16 AM
Post #35 of 41
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stay in school, its tough quitting then going back. At least for me...
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guangzhou
Oct 11, 2010, 7:31 AM
Post #36 of 41
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gobennyjo
I'll take a stab at this. I personally have never let anything interfered with my climbing. I refuse to live or work where I can't access climbing. I wouldn't marry someone who didn't understand that climbing is an important part of my life.
My view is that getting married at 20 is a bit young for 90% of the people out there. Like someone above mentioned, if it's true love, you two will still be together in five years, so wait it out.
Financially, you seem to have money. I'm not saying this mean you're financially savvy, I don;t know anything about your lifestyle or expenses. With that said, I have never really valued money enough to make it a major consideration in my decision process. It sounds like you made the money in construction. I did a bit of construction in my time, I enjoyed it, but I am glad I no longer have to do it these days.
School. I think school opens more doors then it closes. Even if you don't work in the field you studied, it's worth having the piece of paper. Yes, it's just a piece of paper and what you do with it once you have it is up to you. Some jobs/careers, you can't do without it. (I'm a school teacher for example. I decided on my job because I like teaching, I like the school teacher schedule, and I can work in International schools which fits my need to climb internationally. )
School wise, I would say it not one or the other. These days, it's very easy to transfer schools. Instead of driving to North Carolina between classes, go study in North Carolina and be near the cliffs. (Other states have universities too.) Moving to another state to study will also answer some of you unresolved question about your relationship. (Is she willing to follow you? Can she wait? Can both of you agree on a good place to study together? Yes compromise is part of marriage.)
Me, I have no regrets about my life. I know the full-time climbing vagabon life isn't for me. I tried it a couple of times. I know I am happily married to a wonderful woman, she climbs too, so climbing doesn't distract from our relationship and time together. She's in a teacher program to become a teacher, so soon we'll also have a matching career.
Good luck
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brownie710
Oct 14, 2010, 7:21 PM
Post #37 of 41
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as a therapist, husband, father and climber i would encourage you to set forth on an adventure. to live a life without regrets is impossible and the older you get the more narrow your options become for a myriad of reasons. if your searching rc.com for advice on what to do regarding engagement to this young philly i would say it's probably not destiny. just my opinion but i can imagine with your reported resourcefulness, skill sets, and monetary cushion you could certainly find happiness if your willing to risk the journey
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gobennyjo
Mar 7, 2011, 11:25 PM
Post #38 of 41
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ENARE
Mar 8, 2011, 1:11 AM
Post #39 of 41
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gobennyjo wrote: Well things are going great. I have to admit now that some time has passed, I was putting my stress and other problems and blaming them on my fiancé. Yea talking to her was the right thing to do. I mean can you really expect to have any free time if you are going to school full time, working a ton, and in a relationship. I just need to slow down in life and not try to do everything at once. I think staying in school would be the best idea. It is all coming together.
Hello Gob. I just read through this thread and have been fascinated to learn what you chose to do. I think one of the things lacking in our society is that we don't always see the sacrifices that people have made. Are you going to stay with your girl? I am 27 and happily married for 3 years and would not trade it for the world. I love doing all these things and being on an adventure and she is not always to participate. If I could have been in your shoes, I would have just asked myself, is my lady worth me making a sacrifice of what I could do or is she not. It is definitely a sign of your love for whomever it is you end up marrying. It is with my wife, and she compromises with me to make plans to climb. It is not always easy for me to go climbing on a whim, but she is much more worth it to me than that.
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erisspirit
Mar 8, 2011, 1:18 AM
Post #40 of 41
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gobennyjo wrote: Well things are going great. I have to admit now that some time has passed, I was putting my stress and other problems and blaming them on my fiancé. Yea talking to her was the right thing to do. I mean can you really expect to have any free time if you are going to school full time, working a ton, and in a relationship. I just need to slow down in life and not try to do everything at once. I think staying in school would be the best idea. It is all coming together.
Great to hear things are going well, and you are sorting through everything/ communicating first. Hope everything stays on a good path for you!
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dynosore
Mar 9, 2011, 2:44 PM
Post #41 of 41
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Registered: Jul 29, 2004
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gobennyjo wrote: Well things are going great. I have to admit now that some time has passed, I was putting my stress and other problems and blaming them on my fiancé. Yea talking to her was the right thing to do. I mean can you really expect to have any free time if you are going to school full time, working a ton, and in a relationship. I just need to slow down in life and not try to do everything at once. I think staying in school would be the best idea. It is all coming together.
Glad things are working out for you. You seem like a bright young guy. Admitting you were doing things wrong is always the first step to doing things right. If only more people could do this.....
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