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kuba
Nov 10, 2004, 11:56 PM
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good one mikl. now look what you've done. the joke actually is that your humour is exactly the same as your routes in the blue mountains: bold, frustrating, makes people angry, most people can't get it and ultimately, not very funny.
good work.
-kuba
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climbingbum
Nov 10, 2004, 11:58 PM
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Q) What's is the best form of birth control for a mountain guide?
A) His personality....
Q) What's the difference between god and a mountain guide?
A) God doesn't think he is a mountain guide...
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sekcot
Nov 11, 2004, 12:08 AM
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Registered: Dec 1, 2003
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All jokes have been great ... I really like the one about the alpinist stirring the coals w/ his c*@k. However I don't understand the one .... please someone ... a pm one the hard on
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eyecannon
Nov 11, 2004, 12:16 AM
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The Cambridge joke is incredibly lame... it's not even funny.
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climber_chik
Nov 11, 2004, 12:43 AM
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ummmm, I dont get it either. Sorry im a little slow. A PM would be greatly appreciated.
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climber_chik
Nov 11, 2004, 12:46 AM
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Never mind I get it.
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climballnight
Nov 11, 2004, 1:26 AM
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In reply to: In reply to: hmmmm....seems like the joke would make more sense if they were vultures, not eagles. I don't generally associate eagles with carcass eating...... yeah cause they eat souls
It depends,... are they African eagles?
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crow
Nov 11, 2004, 1:38 AM
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So to be sure that I really am intelligent, what's the joke? What exactly should I be getting?
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irockclimbtoo
Nov 11, 2004, 1:54 AM
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ab
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dutyje
Nov 11, 2004, 2:10 AM
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In reply to: In reply to: In reply to: hmmmm....seems like the joke would make more sense if they were vultures, not eagles. I don't generally associate eagles with carcass eating...... yeah cause they eat souls It depends,... are they African eagles?
No.. they're European eagles ;)
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fenix83
Moderator
Nov 11, 2004, 2:16 AM
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Hehe, you screwed me when you said it was an IQ test, my first thought was... welll they don't speak because they are eagles, they can't! Then I read warriors post and it hit me... overanallyzing.
-F
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mburke225
Nov 11, 2004, 2:25 AM
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PM on the eagles joke please, I think I have something but I hope I'm wrong.
Got this one from the site, I forget who should get credit, but it is a good one anyway so I'll repost.
What is the difference between a climber and an investment bond?
Eventually the bond will mature and make money
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bilias
Nov 11, 2004, 2:35 AM
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What did one climber say to the other climber before he handed the rope to him?
"Hey, hand me the rope."
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bilias
Nov 11, 2004, 2:43 AM
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Here's another:
A trad climber, sport climber, and an aid climber all met on the top of a cliff. There was a wise old Indian man standing nearby who told them he had magical powers. He claimed that if they jumped off the cliff and shouted the name of an animal, they would turn into that animal.
They all figured they had lived and seen enough, so they agreed to the magician's offer.
The aid climber jumped first and shouted, "Eagle!"
He turned into a beautiful eagle and flew into the horizon.
The trad climber jumped next and yelled, "Hawk!"
He turned into a hawk and flew across the sky.
The sport climber then began to run to the edge and just before jumping he slipped on some pebbles. As he fell he instinctively screamed, "$hit!"
He then turned into a loaf of crap and fell to the bottom.
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forbin
Nov 11, 2004, 3:15 AM
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In reply to: In reply to: It depends,... are they African eagles? No.. they're European eagles ;)
Ah - Yes, i thought it was just an absurdist joke in the vein of Monty Python as well until i figured it out.
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spikeyhair13
Nov 11, 2004, 4:12 AM
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Registered: Oct 18, 2004
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Please pm me befor 10:30. I am so confused, i tought i had it right w/ the eagles talking , but now i hear about eagles eating people, Please help me!!!
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edge
Nov 11, 2004, 4:18 AM
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Registered: Apr 14, 2003
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OMG!!!
The eagles are responding to the souls.
The souls say, "Ah, eagles", so the eagles respond, "Ah, souls".
Say it fast. Now squeeze hard and don't pee on the floor. Damn, those Cambridge boys know how to throw a good party, ey?
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dontfall
Nov 11, 2004, 4:22 AM
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Registered: Mar 31, 2003
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In reply to: I'm gonna need a P.M. for the polite eagles joke as well.
if this guy were to charge 10 bucks everytime someone needed a PM, the dude would be rich...for pete's sake, just foward everyone the Pm
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bill_in_tokyo
Nov 11, 2004, 4:25 AM
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I think I've posted this before somewhere on the board. Not sure, though, so what the heck; here it is again.
****************************
A guide is leading a client up a challenging first ascent.
Every time the guide gets to a particularly dangerous section, he stops and puts on the same red shirt.
The guide climbs pitch after difficult pitch, beautifully.
As they near their bivouac for the first night, the client finally asks about the red shirt. "If I had fallen," says the wise and courageous guide, "this shirt would disguise the blood, and you would not be frightened and lose heart."
"Amazing," thinks the client, marveling at this forethought.
The next day, as they near the summit, a section more difficult than any before looms above them. The guide starts up, then downclimbs and starts rummaging in his pack.
"What are you looking for?" asks the client.
"My brown pants."
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climbingimp
Nov 11, 2004, 4:29 AM
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Registered: Feb 22, 2002
Posts: 10
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Thank you, that makes total sense now and it is actually funny! I really appreciate the explanation. Here is a site that I really like for humor
http://www.phoenixrockgym.com/humor.html
I also have the other site that was mentioned bookmarked. I really like all of them.
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dynobelay
Nov 11, 2004, 4:40 AM
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Registered: Sep 10, 2003
Posts: 73
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I was climbing with a French climbing partner in the Canadian Rockies. From up on the cliff we spied 2 mountain goats mating on a little ledge across from us, high on the cliff.
Oh my friend sighed. That is so beautiful! I wish I too could make love like that on the high cliffs.
Later that summer I met my friend again. Excitedly he told me that his wish had come true. I was puzzled because I knew his wife didn't climb. How did you get her up to that ledge, I asked him. Oh it was easy he said. I held out a tuft of grass, and the little goat came right up to me.
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rhu
Nov 11, 2004, 4:41 AM
Post #73 of 156
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Registered: Apr 15, 2003
Posts: 242
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Maybe I am just a poor sport, but the Eagles was completely without humor.
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thewyseclimber
Nov 11, 2004, 4:53 AM
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In reply to: I was climbing with a French climbing partner in the Canadian Rockies. From up on the cliff we spied 2 mountain goats mating on a little ledge across from us, high on the cliff. Oh my friend sighed. That is so beautiful! I wish I too could make love like that on the high cliffs. Later that summer I met my friend again. Excitedly he told me that his wish had come true. I was puzzled because I knew his wife didn't climb. How did you get her up to that ledge, I asked him. Oh it was easy he said. I held out a tuft of grass, and the little goat came right up to me.
Thanks for a good laugh, and thanks to edge for finally enlightening us lesser brains. Now keep the jokes and stories coming!
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discolegsyndrome
Nov 11, 2004, 5:33 AM
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Registered: Mar 2, 2004
Posts: 250
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Here is my contribution.. I got this one forwarded a few months ago:
You heard about the guy needing a new brain?
Started looking at the samples sitting in their jars. How much for that one he asked. Oh, that one is 6 million.
What! That is unbelievable, why so much? It was from a doctor who was very healthy, religious and moral. OK, then how much for that one over there?
2 million. I can't believe that , look, it has some flaky parts, shady and bruised. Well, that one is a fine specimen of a lawyer who made a decent living, only cheated on his wife, taxes and at cards.
Well the man was beside himself. Finally he found a moth eaten, tattered little brain about the size of a walnut sitting in a jar of alcohol. How much for that one? 30 billion. Why? It is the worst example and in horrible shape! The Doctor looked at the man and said it came from a climber. So, why so much? The Doctor said, "Do you have any idea how many climbers we had to go through before we found one with a brain?"
Hey.. at least it's better than the eagles one...
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