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reno
Jul 6, 2007, 1:51 AM
Post #26 of 149
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majid_sabet wrote: Funny how one n00b is telling stories about another n00b
Funniest thing I've seen a n00b do was try to call out someone who has been climbing almost as long as he was alive as being a n00b.
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bent_gate
Jul 6, 2007, 1:58 AM
Post #27 of 149
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(I've seen posts similar to this on this site several times)
Ever seen a climber show up to the crag carrying their gear in an REI bag?
(yeah, nothing wrong with it, but boy does it look bad!)
(This post was edited by bent_gate on Jul 6, 2007, 1:59 AM)
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richardvg03
Jul 6, 2007, 2:14 AM
Post #28 of 149
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on my first trip the the local crag i climbed up the hiking trail and just walked around looking for climbs. I have NO IDEA what I was doing... me and my g/f had a static rope, 2 harness's, 2 pairs of shoes, 2 chalk bags, a few biners, and some accesory cord. we found a route with bolts on it and decided to top rope it... we had NO IDEA how to get to the top rope... i saw a small horn up top so I tried to lasso it... IF I HAD DONE SO... I was going to pull myself up and set up a top rope... thank God i never made the lasso!!!!!!!!!!!
I write this story... and I can't stop laughing at myself! I've come a long long way! hahahahaha
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bent_gate
Jul 6, 2007, 2:17 AM
Post #29 of 149
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Another story. After watching for several hours, I offer to lead a quick short pitch for a n00b to hang their rope for them as a top rope, I take his rack.
After I'm on the route, I hit a major snafu. The price tags are still attached to the runners, and as I try to extend the slings they get seriously tangled. To keep from killing myself, I resort to biting off the paper tag and spitting it out. Then biting off the plastic filament that is pierced through the sling, (all since only one hand can be free on this climb).
Who was the n00b? Me for not checking out his dumbass rack! 
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jakedatc
Jul 6, 2007, 2:21 AM
Post #30 of 149
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he he.. that would be fun to play on though.. dump your draws or gear out of a store bag and then crank up something hard and watch people go huhhhh
similar i've seen at the gym mostly.. folks carrying around the bag of loose chalk or chalk ball in the plastic it comes in.. ive also seen folks throw a biner through it and carry that with them hehe i know they'll get a chalk bag eventually but it must be a pain in the ass until then.
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knieveltech
Jul 6, 2007, 2:52 AM
Post #32 of 149
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Eh, had a close encounter of the n00b kind at the gym maybe an hour ago.
I happen to spot this trio at the base of this greasy hands crack that happens to be my favorite route in the gym. This trio consists of a girl and her boyfriend who appeared at least somewhat experienced, and a brand-damnit-new climber, complete with green rental shoes and that vaguely overwhelmed look in the eye that newcomers to the gym normally sport. Anyway, after a brief thrutch-fest she backs off the route and trades places with her belayer.
While the guy's roping up I make an off-hand (and what I thought was friendly, apparently I'm more poorly socialized than I thought) comment that laybacking is cheating. I even finished it off with a patented "I'm completely full of shit" grin. Instead of chuckling at my little joke dude gets completely offended, informs me in hurt/annoyed tones that a lot of the time laying back is all you can do. After the monologue he jumps on, and I'll be damned if he didn't skip a bomber finger stack and two perfect hands sections and instead immediately lays back on the crack and starts thrutching his way up. Four moves later his feet pop and he ends up headbutting the wall so hard that the girl running the front counter looks up sharply and is all like "did his belayer just drop him?" to which I replied "Nah, his feet popped trying to layback the crack and he just face-planted into the wall.".
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Valarc
Jul 6, 2007, 3:10 AM
Post #33 of 149
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notapplicable wrote: Come on, show of hands everyone. How many here has been on the giving or receiving end of a crotch racking?
I don't think I've ever heard this particular term before... I think a Majid-style MS Paint stick figure illustration is in order!
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flint
Jul 6, 2007, 3:31 AM
Post #34 of 149
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knieveltech wrote: Eh, had a close encounter of the n00b kind at the gym maybe an hour ago. I happen to spot this trio at the base of this greasy hands crack that happens to be my favorite route in the gym. This trio consists of a girl and her boyfriend who appeared at least somewhat experienced, and a brand-damnit-new climber, complete with green rental shoes and that vaguely overwhelmed look in the eye that newcomers to the gym normally sport. Anyway, after a brief thrutch-fest she backs off the route and trades places with her belayer. While the guy's roping up I make an off-hand (and what I thought was friendly, apparently I'm more poorly socialized than I thought) comment that laybacking is cheating. I even finished it off with a patented "I'm completely full of shit" grin. Instead of chuckling at my little joke dude gets completely offended, informs me in hurt/annoyed tones that a lot of the time laying back is all you can do. After the monologue he jumps on, and I'll be damned if he didn't skip a bomber finger stack and two perfect hands sections and instead immediately lays back on the crack and starts thrutching his way up. Four moves later his feet pop and he ends up headbutting the wall so hard that the girl running the front counter looks up sharply and is all like "did his belayer just drop him?" to which I replied "Nah, his feet popped trying to layback the crack and he just face-planted into the wall.".
I have had a similar experience at the Red a while back.
I watched these nOObs check out a 5.6 hand crack that I was climbing beside, with a rack of nuts and two cams. After watching them look at each other for about 15 minutes, I offered to set the TR for them.
After I hand jam the route, I stayed to watch/help them with the climb, and to make sure they didn't deck at the anchors. So the first guy is trying to hand jam, which ripped off the tape job that was poorly done. After failing to make the center moves, he decides to lay back and stem, or at least his version, three hand moves up, his feet are so far below him that he losses all force and slips.
The fall wasn't bad, but with the soft belay he found himself with a small tree that was growing out of the crack stuck halfway up his ass.
Both the nOObs and I laughed the rest of the time he was on the route.
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silentwarior125
Jul 6, 2007, 4:01 AM
Post #35 of 149
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tailing a rope for some people. once i got to the top of the route only to find out its not long enough. so they tie the "longer" rope to the tail line and once i started feeding it through only to realize it was 30 feet off the deck. I thought to myself reminded of these earlier words spoken " use our rope it will be less hassle in the end".
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dlintz
Jul 6, 2007, 4:04 AM
Post #36 of 149
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climbsomething wrote: shimanilami wrote: I was at a local crag recently and had set up a TR for a couple of new climber friends of mine. Another group of noobs came along looking for the climb we were on. I told them we'd be done with it a few minutes. We finished climbing. I went up, broke down the anchor, rapped down and pulled the rope. As I packed my rope, one of the noobs asked, "Are you taking that rope with you?" "Yes," I replied. "Well the book says that this is a TR. Can you leave it?" "No. It's mine." I said. "Can you tell us where the climbs with ropes are?" Sigh. Aww, I'd have offered to put up their rope, if I were feeling benevolent. Then laughed. Then worried about how they were going to get it down without breaking themselves. But somewhere in there, yes, definitely would have laughed. Sorry.
The noobs apparently didn't bring a rope....that's the best part of the story.
d.
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medicus
Jul 6, 2007, 5:46 AM
Post #38 of 149
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marc801 wrote: climbingtrash wrote: Yeah! All-y'all pull yur headz out and lighten the fetch up!  Speaking of pulling your heads out....it's "...lighten the FUCK up." Stop this Utah bullshit of fetch, fetching, and freakin' - everyone knows you mean "fuck", so quit fuckin' around.
That post was so effing lame.
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climbsomething
Jul 6, 2007, 6:24 AM
Post #39 of 149
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dlintz wrote: climbsomething wrote: shimanilami wrote: I was at a local crag recently and had set up a TR for a couple of new climber friends of mine. Another group of noobs came along looking for the climb we were on. I told them we'd be done with it a few minutes. We finished climbing. I went up, broke down the anchor, rapped down and pulled the rope. As I packed my rope, one of the noobs asked, "Are you taking that rope with you?" "Yes," I replied. "Well the book says that this is a TR. Can you leave it?" "No. It's mine." I said. "Can you tell us where the climbs with ropes are?" Sigh. Aww, I'd have offered to put up their rope, if I were feeling benevolent. Then laughed. Then worried about how they were going to get it down without breaking themselves. But somewhere in there, yes, definitely would have laughed. Sorry. The noobs apparently didn't bring a rope....that's the best part of the story. d.
Believable, but wow.
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overlord
Jul 6, 2007, 6:47 AM
Post #40 of 149
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anykineclimb wrote: bbjammin23 wrote: ... while the girl lead, she would pull rope and then say "CLIPPING!" the moment she put the rope in the draw. ... So whats wrong with this? Although a bit late, it sounds like good communication with her belayer to me.
you usually say 'clipping' before to warn your belayer to give you slack, if necessary, not when you are actually clipping (meaning you already have enough slack)
as for my noob story... at a popular crag we watched what was obviously a climbing class from another country. and they were trying to climb this .10c or so and every time they would z clip the second bolt. its a good thing the route was hard enough so that none of the noobs was able to get high enough to actually need the second bolt. it was really funny to watch for the first few tries, but after a while i was really horrified because the leader obviously didnt supervise what hes 'pupils' were doing or didnt know what a z-clip was. and while i tried to expalin to them what they were doing wrong... they just didnt get it. and i doubt it was the language barrier
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Myxomatosis
Jul 6, 2007, 8:05 AM
Post #41 of 149
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overlord wrote: anykineclimb wrote: bbjammin23 wrote: ... while the girl lead, she would pull rope and then say "CLIPPING!" the moment she put the rope in the draw. ... So whats wrong with this? Although a bit late, it sounds like good communication with her belayer to me. you usually say 'clipping' before to warn your belayer to give you slack, if necessary, not when you are actually clipping (meaning you already have enough slack)
Haha... You mean "ROPE" and "CLIPPED" .... Clip and clipping could be mistaken for the same word... but hey ..... I don't mind people giving advice to me but it still doesn't make them right :)
(This post was edited by Myxomatosis on Jul 6, 2007, 8:08 AM)
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medicus
Jul 6, 2007, 8:33 AM
Post #42 of 149
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Myxomatosis wrote: overlord wrote: anykineclimb wrote: bbjammin23 wrote: ... while the girl lead, she would pull rope and then say "CLIPPING!" the moment she put the rope in the draw. ... So whats wrong with this? Although a bit late, it sounds like good communication with her belayer to me. you usually say 'clipping' before to warn your belayer to give you slack, if necessary, not when you are actually clipping (meaning you already have enough slack) Haha... You mean "ROPE" and "CLIPPED" .... Clip and clipping could be mistaken for the same word... but hey ..... I don't mind people giving advice to me but it still doesn't make them right :)
Haha... you mean "slack" instead of "rope"... this debate could be endless and is equally of no importance.
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climbingtrash
Jul 6, 2007, 10:26 AM
Post #43 of 149
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marc801 wrote: climbingtrash wrote: Yeah! All-y'all pull yur headz out and lighten the fetch up! Speaking of pulling your heads out....it's "...lighten the FUCK up." Stop this Utah bullshit of fetch, fetching, and freakin' - everyone knows you mean "fuck", so quit fuckin' around.
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on_belay_hombre
Jul 6, 2007, 11:30 AM
Post #44 of 149
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I got like 3 good Noob Stories in one day. I don't know what attracted so many silly-minded, no-common-sense "climbers" to the gunks two weekends ago, but I honestly spent more time watching them screw up than I did actually climbing.
The two most notable of stories were at Shockley's Ceiling. I was bringing a climber who was new to trad leading at the gunks up to speed on the classics. Though it was a busy weekend we decided to give shockley's ceiling a go with the strictly from nowhere first pitch. I would lead the first then we'd wait our turn on the well known line that always forms on the gunks classics.
Noob mistake No. 1: I was gearing up while my partner flaked the rope. There was a party next to us of mostly girls who looked pretty new at climbing but had some guys leading climbs for them. There was a party of two climbing the first pitch and another on the crux roof of Shockleys and another party rapping (mad house :()My partner and I are just talking amongst ourselves and we hear the party rapping talking to the guys on the first pitch...apparently figuring out how to share the anchor. I hear "ROPE" called and assumed they were tossing the line for the last rap, coming down right where the group of girls was. I didnt think anything of it till I hear "WHAM!!" like 3 seconds later as an entire coiled rope collides with the ground. The girls scream as it is right by them (5 ft or so). I look up and the "leader" of the party rapping just waves and says "hey guys, just dropping the rope, didnt need it..." completely casual about it. When He got down I pointed out he could have tied the rope on as a backpack and saved the possibility of injuring someone tossing an entire coiled rope down 50+ ft. He just shrugs and says "yeah but after I coiled it I didnt have enough rope left for a backpack, this was easier..."....AAAAAAAGH! The Nerve!
Noob Mistake No. 2: So after that we start up the climb and I lead to the first belay. As I mentioned, when we got there there was a party on the crux roof of shockleys. Some friends of mine had headed up strictley's first and were waiting for a go at the roof. They were still waiting when I got to the belay with them. We were all still waiting when my partner came up. We were still waiting (for the same party) after we climbed a 30 ft pitch just to climb something. The pair had apparently gotten in over the heads. The leader had placed gear EVERYWHERE and I mean that literally. Clipped all the pins, protected every crack and crevice but wouldnt pull the move. Kept going up then backing off but not pulling the gear. The went on for a couple hours as the queue for the roof lengthened. One group bailed, my friends finally bailed also cause they had somewhere to be and then there was us and a group jjust after us. Well finally the pair decides they're done trying. They traverse left and head for the rap anchor that is no less than 15 feet up and maybe 20 feet over left. My partner leads the roof with no issues, I follow and we gather our gear at the top and head for the rap. Mind you this is probably at the very least, 30-45 min after we saw those guys head for the rap anchor. We get there and they're still there. One guy down to the second station and the other guy just leaving. It took another 20 minutes for him to rap the 50 or so feet and tie into the next anchor, then another 10 to pull the rope. so finally they pull, we get set up and I rap first. I get to the anchor and they havent even pulled the rope through for the next rap. they have it coiled over the tree. ~sigh~ So I chill on rappel, dangling next to the anchor watching the chaos as yet another climber comes up Strictly's and wants to tie in and take down his top rope. This isnt much of a ledge either, kind of a quasi hanging belay anchor with a foot rail. So I watch the 3 of them get cozy, all double or triple clipped in, forming a CF that would give a big wall anchor some competition. I give them credit for agreeing to all rap on the same rope. To shorten the story I'll say that eventually, after 20 min of me hanging on rappel, they moved over enough to let me clip to the tree (after one guy had rapped) and I waited for another guy to rap before calling my partner down. It took forever for the last guy to get down. We spent 5 hours on the cliff total for the one route and probably only about an hour of actual climbing. what is the climbing world coming to??
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dlintz
Jul 6, 2007, 1:09 PM
Post #45 of 149
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I didn't get to witness this one and the story's main character wasn't brand new to climbing but newer:
A group of us were at Garden of The Gods a few years ago. One of the guys in our group took his wife up The Window on the Three Graces tower. Upon both reaching the top of this 80 foot spire he prepared to set up the rappel. He gathered up the rope, yelled "rope!" and chucked it. Only problem is that he forgot to thread it through the anchors!
Another in our group who was near the base retrieved his rope and brought it up to the embarrassed couple.
Now he insists that he did thread the rope through the anchors (unevenly causing it to slide out one side). Riiiiiiiiight. 
d.
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m2j1s
Jul 6, 2007, 1:37 PM
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the other day we saw some people who had set up a toprope by wrapping a static rope around a tree a few times then throwing it down. To climb, they attached gri-gri's to their harness and as they would pull rope through it as they got higher.
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jt512
Jul 6, 2007, 3:46 PM
Post #47 of 149
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Myxomatosis wrote: overlord wrote: anykineclimb wrote: bbjammin23 wrote: ... while the girl lead, she would pull rope and then say "CLIPPING!" the moment she put the rope in the draw. ... So whats wrong with this? Although a bit late, it sounds like good communication with her belayer to me. you usually say 'clipping' before to warn your belayer to give you slack, if necessary, not when you are actually clipping (meaning you already have enough slack) Haha... You mean "ROPE" and "CLIPPED" .... Clip and clipping could be mistaken for the same word... but hey ..... I don't mind people giving advice to me but it still doesn't make them right :)
OK, here's some good advice that you probably won't take. Never say "rope" when you want slack. It sounds too much like "up rope," which means the opposite of what you want. When you want slack to clip, say "slack," "clipping," or "clip." There is rarely any reason to inform a competent belayer that you have clipped, so there is no reason to be concerned that "clip" sounds similar to "clipped."
Jay
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mturner
Jul 6, 2007, 4:07 PM
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richardvg03 wrote: I write this story... and I can't stop laughing at myself! I've come a long long way! hahahahaha
Indeed you have. Now you can join all the others who are laughing at you.
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shimanilami
Jul 6, 2007, 4:48 PM
Post #49 of 149
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climbsomething wrote: shimanilami wrote: I was at a local crag recently and had set up a TR for a couple of new climber friends of mine. Another group of noobs came along looking for the climb we were on. I told them we'd be done with it a few minutes. We finished climbing. I went up, broke down the anchor, rapped down and pulled the rope. As I packed my rope, one of the noobs asked, "Are you taking that rope with you?" "Yes," I replied. "Well the book says that this is a TR. Can you leave it?" "No. It's mine." I said. "Can you tell us where the climbs with ropes are?" Sigh. Aww, I'd have offered to put up their rope, if I were feeling benevolent. Then laughed. Then worried about how they were going to get it down without breaking themselves. But somewhere in there, yes, definitely would have laughed. Sorry.
Dude, they didn't have a rope! They had shiny harnesses, atc's, and quickdraws ... but no rope!
They were gym climbers, clearly, but I have to give them some credit for at least trying to get out and do the real thing. I suggested they sign up for some classes (and buy a rope).
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chumbawumba
Jul 6, 2007, 4:55 PM
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winglessangel wrote: chumbawumba wrote: The first time I took my girl friend climbing outside I led a short crack and I belayed from the top. As she pulled each piece of gear she tossed it to the ground for later recovery even after I explained mid pitch that she was not using proper gear cleaning technique. this a joke, right? she didn'r really do that, right? like: "oh, this little thing on the side of my harness are not just decorative?"
No joke, she tossed all the gear to the ground. Even after I pointed out the handy little gear loops on the harness. I still climb on the gear so hopefully its okay (The cams are Aliens so who knows).
Earlier on the same climb I wanted her to see what it would be like if I fell and thus took a very small pre-planned fall. As I came down, she went towards the rock, and immediately placed both hand out to protect her body from the rock. I wound up in the dirt at the base of the climb. 6 years later I've realised that she values her beauty as much as my life (maybe more - she is Brazilian).
Thus, I immediately purchased a GriGri to avoid any future no hands belaying incidents. She now laughs about it and has since followed me up routes from Yosemite to Rio.
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Yeah! All-y'all pull yur headz out and lighten the fetch up!
