So here's my question: Do you know how I can hinder my brother from further improvement, preferably without causing visible damage (since I don't want to overshadow next x-mas with those discussions) or cut on his useability as rope monkey?

So um, I'm like looking at 50 pages of ask the noob... with all this experience are you still a noob? Can we still depend on your unsullied inexperience or is this the end?

I'd like to make me some tape gloves because I want to be the only really cool guy here in this limestone area who does face climbing with taped hands. But my hands are as hairy as King Kong's (palms, too, of course), and I'm an utter sissy... what can I do? I'm sure I will die when I try to remove the tape from my hands.

The simplest tape to take off is the tape you never put on, broham, meditate on that.

Allez. Ooooooooooom. Homard.

with texture like Brundle Fly on a PixieStix sugar fix...

I hope someone else got this reference besides me, jesus it made me laugh.

I have two questions:

1) My son was born on St. Patrick's day, what kind of climber will he be?

2) My climbing partner wants to celebrate my son's birth with some sort of climbing trip that he's planning. He won't tell me about it but I was looking at his bookshelf and it was full of books like Touching the Void, and Into Thin Air, and Between a Rock and a Hard Place. I'm getting concerned about his plans. Should I be?

When I started climbing I became aware of the elite race known as Guides. They fearlessly lead clients (n00bs) up 5.2 multipitches (i.e. setting a belay at each bolt of a 50ft sport climb), are never seen falling or hangdogging, appear to be masters at all modes of climbing (bouldering, sport, trad, slogging up big snowy hills - i mean mountaineering, even slacklining), and are masters at the preparation and consumption of perfect ham sandwiches. I don't think you've spoken of this mysterious race of climbers yet.

So my question is, who are they and where do they come from? Are they really as perfect as they appear? What is their secret?

The croque-monsieur, a hot ham and cheese sandwich served in the bistros and cafés of Paris, has provided quick, cheap nourishment for thousands of students and budget minded travelers. Do you remember ordering a croque-monsieur, while seated at an outdoor café? I do!

Holy Cognitive Dissonance! Where does this cuisine fit in the trad-climber/ spandex-wearing chain-smoking girlfriend-stealing sporto frog continuum?

dear noob,
thanks to your answering questions i have learned what it is to be a real rock climber: a real rock climber is somone who, contrary to popular belief, doesnot actually rock climb, it is somone who spends enough time, on RockClimbing.com's forum making fun of(instead of informing) people turning to the website for information on rockclimbing(noobs), a position that they were never themselves in because they were rockclimbing in the womb.

it is too bad that we cannot just inform indaviduals interested in climbing about the sport and the importance of it to some of us, and understand that we live in a diverse world where others may not share the same values concerning climbing, and furthermore that some may have not grown up in inviroments where the natural world was not as sacred, i hardly see hw telling them off and answering their questions sarcasticly will help them to appreciate the natural world and the culture of climbing.

I am disapointed that a climbers worth is reduced to how many posts he has on this forum.

Before i get to my "serious question" where you been man? Don't tell me that you've traded in the ultimate comfort of the ass molded couch and climbing vids to go out side and touch rocks or something?

OK so on to the "serious question" I wanted to know what kind of music is the best to boulder to. I usually lay around for 15 or 20 min before each problem and listen to part of a String Cheese song or a Phish jam of some sort and then spend a few minutes trying and pull my self off the ground, and then go take a nap. But lately I'm not feelin that any more. Now I've been breaking out my old punk and rockabilly Cd's and instead of climbing the rocks i try and start fights with them, and thats certainly not helping me break through the V0+ grade. So whats a poor boulderer to do? Should i try some classical, maybe Sean Paul or some house techno raver trancey blend?

dear noob,
thanks to your answering questions i have learned what it is to be a real rock climber: a real rock climber is somone who, contrary to popular belief, doesnot actually rock climb, it is somone who spends enough time, on RockClimbing.com's forum making fun of(instead of informing) people turning to the website for information on rockclimbing(noobs), a position that they were never themselves in because they were rockclimbing in the womb.

it is too bad that we cannot just inform indaviduals interested in climbing about the sport and the importance of it to some of us, and understand that we live in a diverse world where others may not share the same values concerning climbing, and furthermore that some may have not grown up in inviroments where the natural world was not as sacred, i hardly see hw telling them off and answering their questions sarcasticly will help them to appreciate the natural world and the culture of climbing.

I am disapointed that a climbers worth is reduced to how many posts he has on this forum.

Allez. Go back under the bridge with the billy goats. Homard.